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A NORWEGIAN and a SWEDE

moose 57

By moose 57,
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moose 57 Rising Star

moose 57

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A NORWEGIAN and a SWEDE entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the SWEDE stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the SWEDE said to the Norwegian, "YA, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one even saw me.
Betcha you can't beat that."

NORWEGIAN replied: "Ya! You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you some-ting."

So they went to the counter and the NORWEGIAN said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see some magic?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The NORWEGIAN said: "Gimme one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The NORWEGIAN asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?"

The NORWEGIAN replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."

You just CAN'T beat a NORWEGIAN now can ya.

h.a.n.d.

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George Hayduke Rookie

George Hayduke

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En svensk man hittar jag norska skämt om svenskarna smaklös, offensiv och rentav inte roligt...

Chokladkakor Buffévarmrätterna kunde vara...

Har du någonsin hört om den norska make?

Ole (A Norwegian) was talking with his brother Sven, who lived next door, when Sven said, "Ya know Ole, you and Lena should really get some new curtains."

"Vy's dat?" Ole asked.

"Vel last night I saw you and Lena, vel you know..."

Ole thought for awhile, then said, "Ha-ha Sven, da yokes on you! I vasn't even home last night!"

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Whatshername Newbie

Whatshername

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, George Hayduke said:

En svensk man hittar jag norska skämt om svenskarna smaklös, offensiv och rentav inte roligt...

Chokladkakor Buffévarmrätterna kunde vara...

Har du någonsin hört om den norska make?

Ole (A Norwegian) was talking with his brother Sven, who lived next door, when Sven said, "Ya know Ole, you and Lena should really get some new curtains."

"Vy's dat?" Ole asked.

"Vel last night I saw you and Lena, vel you know..."

Ole thought for awhile, then said, "Ha-ha Sven, da yokes on you! I vasn't even home last night!"

 
Som en svensk kvinna jag tror att dess roligt men jag föredrar blonda skämt !
 
Hej ... när vi blivit polackerna av humor universum?  :shrug:
 
 
Sven, a furniture dealer from Minnesota, decided to
expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to
Paris to see what he could find.
 
After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and
selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To
celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro
and have a glass of wine.
 
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was
quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only
vacant seat in the house.
 
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his
table, asked him something in French (which Sven could not
understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to
sit down.
 
 
He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his
language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with
her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and
showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for
her.
 
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another
napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she
nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured
a small group playing romantic music.
 
 
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew
a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to
dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing
up.
 
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a
picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Sven has no idea how
she figured out he was in the furniture business.
 
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moose 57 Rising Star

moose 57

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Posted
1 hour ago, Whatshername said:
 
Som en svensk kvinna jag tror att dess roligt men jag föredrar blonda skämt !
 
Hej ... när vi blivit polackerna av humor universum?  :shrug:
 
 
Sven, a furniture dealer from Minnesota, decided to
expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to
Paris to see what he could find.
 
After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and
selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To
celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro
and have a glass of wine.
 
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was
quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only
vacant seat in the house.
 
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his
table, asked him something in French (which Sven could not
understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to
sit down.
 
 
He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his
language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with
her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and
showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for
her.
 
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another
napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she
nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured
a small group playing romantic music.
 
 
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew
a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to
dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing
up.
 
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a
picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Sven has no idea how
she figured out he was in the furniture business.
 

that was well worth the read!!!

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RV ME Newbie

RV ME

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, George Hayduke said:

Verkligen? Verkligen en svensk?

Finns det inget **** på dessa epiphanies?

Galenskaperna... bara vanlig galenskap...!:wacko:

Heliga negativ Batman, verkar det din hemliga beundrare är tillbaka igen. Tog hand om det neg för dig.

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George Hayduke Rookie

George Hayduke

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Whatshername said:
Tja , hälften svenska och hälften västeuropeiska byracka ! 
 
Men mina pannkakor är att dö för , så jag har att gå för mig !
 
Skål för dig George !   :cheesehead:
 
Förresten ... det ser ut som din negger är tillbaka !  :facepalm2:
 
 
 

"vägen blickar gillar din negger är tillbaka !"

Japp, tom huvud, svart hjärta och kortvuxen små fingrar som går neg neg neg i mörkret... :o

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George Hayduke Rookie

George Hayduke

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Posted
2 hours ago, EagleEye said:

alright will somebody with enough time on his/her hands please do a google translate so the rest of us can get in on the laugh too...:o

Oh come on Eagle Eye - Google's not necessary - Swede's don't make any sense in any language and the joke is always on them :lol:

But, if'n you want a translation try http://translation.babylon-software.com/swedish/to-english/

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genx4me Enthusiast

genx4me

Posted
Posted
On Friday, June 03, 2016 at 8:34 AM, moose 57 said:

A NORWEGIAN and a SWEDE entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the SWEDE stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the SWEDE said to the Norwegian, "YA, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one even saw me.
Betcha you can't beat that."

NORWEGIAN replied: "Ya! You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you some-ting."

So they went to the counter and the NORWEGIAN said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see some magic?" The shopkeeper replied: "Yes." The NORWEGIAN said: "Gimme one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The NORWEGIAN asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too. The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic ?"

The NORWEGIAN replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."

You just CAN'T beat a NORWEGIAN now can ya.

h.a.n.d.

???

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RodandStaff Rookie

RodandStaff

Posted
Posted
On June 4, 2016 at 1:24 PM, EagleEye said:

alright will somebody with enough time on his/her hands please do a google translate so the rest of us can get in on the laugh too...:o

It's Greek to me too EagleEye and I'm half "Norveeghun"!!! :shrug:

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