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~Senior Computer Skills.......


moose 57
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~Senior Computer Skills.......    
           
Tech support:    What kind of computer do you have? 
Customer:          A white one... 
Tech support   Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. 
Customer:          Your left or my left?
  ************************    
Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,   but the computer still says he can't find it.. 
  
*************************    
 Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore. 
Tech support:    Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? 
Customer:          No. I can't get behind the computer. 
Tech support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. 
Customer:           OK 
Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you? 
Customer:          Yes 
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.. 
  
*************************    
Customer:            I can't get on the Internet. 
Tech support:      Are you sure you used the right password? 
Customer:            Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. 
Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was? 
Customer:           Five dots. 
  
*************************    
Tech  support:   What anti-virus program do you use? 
Customer:          Netscape. 
Tech support:    That's not an anti-virus program. 
Customer:          Oh, sorry.... Internet Explorer.. 
  
*************************    
Customer:     I have a huge problem. 
  A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,   but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. 
  
*************************    
Tech support:     How may I help you? 
Customer:           I'm writing my first email. 
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem? 
Customer:          Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? 
  
*************************       
This one and the next   are our personal favorites!    
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.. 
Tech support:     Are you running it under windows? 
Customer:   'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. 
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

  ************************    
And last but   -     not least!    
Tech  support:    'Okay Bill,  let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' 
Customer:          I don't have a P. 
Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bill. 
Customer:          What do you mean? 
Tech support:   'P'.....on your  keyboard, Bill. 
Customer:   I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
 

 

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I'm maybe not daft but certainly not up to speed on all the fine nuances of computer geekness ladies!  Some of these young kids can run circles around me...till I remind them I own a gun...that usually stops the smirks and quiets them down a mite!!!  :eyebrows: 

 

 Great find Moose...again!!!  :bravo:

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***///

We still DO drink OVALTINE, SNOWGLOBE:twothumbs:  And it's a perfect Prepper storage 'food', too !  :D

No de-coder rings or anything 'free' in there anymore, though.  

 

As a matter of fact,

we don't go to the movies anymore, either, because they're not giving away free dishes !  :confused2:

We were lucky to complete our Flinstones Jelly Glasses set before they stopped THAT !  :shrug:

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