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          I learned something wonderful about living in this world of ours a few weeks ago-and of all the places to learn it was at a funeral. Then again, maybe it isn't so unusual. Learning can occur at any time one see's something that might help them. The best and most fulfilling funerals I've ever been to are funerals during which life is celebrated, not mourned. The examples are shared of a life well lived by the person and examples are remembered and cherished.


          This was one of those times, if you had known Patty you would understand. If I chose one word to describe it, it would be joyful. In all my years of knowing her, I never can say i seen her without a smile, she was just a happy person and she told me a while back that if she chose to look unhappy then she would be, if she chose to smile and speak in happy tones then it would reflect on her outlook as well. This made her a positive person and negativity had a hard time getting in her feelings. This she says made her upbeat, she was joyful. Even as she waged her private war with cancer, she found reasons to smile and laugh.


          And so when she knew that the cancer was going to consume her she resolved herself to insist that her funeral be a joyful occasion. She wanted people to say that they never incountered a dull moment while they were around her. She was beginning to see the end of her life coming and she started making preparations. She outlined her funeral and personally invited those whom she wanted to speak on her behalf. She instructed them carefully that this was not to be a tearful, sad, anguished time. She wanted laughter and smiles as her going away gift.


          The speakers to a great extent complied and so did many others who wanted to say something. Even her father shared sweet and funny storiesfrom Patty's childhood. Then her husband Jay, got up and talked about the heavenly reunion that was taking place between Patty and her Grandpa she loved so much and how the two of them was probably doing something her grandpa used to call the "Oopa dance". He explained that the dance was in fact part looked like part Hokey Pokey, part chicken, part crazy shaking like being tased.


          Everyone was hysterical laughing as he tried to demonstrate it. Laughter was never heard of the tone at a funeral and somewhere Patty was looking down and her and Grandpa was laughing their heads off. Of course as with any funeral there is tender moments and some moments of profound sadness aswas to be expected. You just can't let go of a life without some degree of sadness. Of course Patty had a phase she always used throughout her life that would resinate with her name. "There ya are". You got to say it just right or you will miss the whole point, "There Ya"Are---almost "There Yar" but with a little hesitation between the "Y" and the "ar" Got it ya'all.


          Jay explained that this simple phrase  came to summerize Patty's approach to the many things she encountered during her last few years of her life. For Instance, when a crazy driver would cut her off in traffice, she wouldn't rage and throw a fit. she would just shrug her shoulders and say, "well there ya are.


          On the day she found out she had cancer she didn't sit down and cry, she didn't shake her fist at the heavens and blame God for inficting her so young with a deadly desease. She knew all along he was in control and this was his plan to bring her home to be with him. She smiled and said, "There ya' are".  Even with each downturn of progression toward the end she never once made it into a pity party, she embraced it and looked forward to meeting her maker. She knew her Grandpa would be waiting for her arrival.


          Patty was a fighter, she battled her illness valiantly right up till the end, She fought, she worked, she tried, she suffered and she prayed. She fought so hard that there were some who knew her who wondered if she weren't accenting to the reality of her situation.


          Just a few days before she closed her eyes the last time, She looked at her husband Jay and said, "There ya' are". Jay knew this wasn't surrender on her part it was letting him know that everything was alright. She just accepted life as it came to her along with its sometimes painful, frustrating, sometimes realities.


          Patty would be the first to say,God gives you gifts, like if you can do something about whatever it is that is distressing you, don't sit idle, do it, If you can fix the problem, fix it, if you change a situation that involves you then change it, if it's tweakable, then by all means tweak it. Adjust, repair, make it better. Sitting idle, not getting involved only lets the situation get worst. BUT, if life deals you something thats bigger than you, thats when God is waiting for you to ask him to help. You see, he is a gentleman, he will not barge into someones life without being invited......Well, There Ya' Are".

Edited by Heavyduty053
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