"How to:" for retirees!‏

[moose 57]

 

How to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT

 

1.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at passing cars, and watch 'em slow down!   
 

2.

On all your checks stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!   
 

3.

Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.   
 

4.

Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.   
 

5.

Sing along at The Opera.   
 

6.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'   
 

7.

When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the Car Park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'   
 

8.

Tell your children over dinner: 'Due to the economy, we                              are going to have to let one of you go....   
 

9.

Wear your clothes wrong side out and watch the peoples faces. 
 

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favorite:   
 

10.                               

Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles  
and yell out:   “THERE’S NO PAPER IN HERE”!

 

 

[Nelg]

Then say as they are carting you away, "Hey, their going to pay all expenses for a two year vacation on a "funny farm!"  No expenses for two years!! 

[nannab]

Thanks Mr. Moose. The department store is my favorite!LOL