Silly Smiles

[SgtFuryUSCZ]

***///

This thread always feeds our souls and tickles our funny bones.... 

 Ya'll r'  good eggs for posting all these wonderful things here for us to enjoy...

and we just wanted to thank you for so much joy! 

Wish we could return the favour, but our tech skills are limited to plugging it in and hitting 'START'.

(Imagine us when we saw the computer mouse without the wire thing connected !  

 Especially since we already owned a wireless controller for the T.V.    ...  )

     

 

 

.

Edited February 22, 2016 by SgtFuryUSCZ

[RodandStaff]

Lol....What Can I Say...Guilty As Charged!!! 

[SgtFuryUSCZ]

***///

 

Hahaha, R&S --- we thought that the Weird Al Yankovich fellow was just doing cover tunes of the real songs...

we had no idea until someone explained it to us !   We're old. 

[RodandStaff]

When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."
"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say,  'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?
"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."
"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"
St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."
"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!" 

[SgtFuryUSCZ]

***///  We love that Garden, too, Forest...  because of " the joy we share as we tarry there..." 

Just like when we walk through this thread with friends. 

[moose 57]

[SgtFuryUSCZ]

***///

 

Now you're a believer...!

[Shabibilicious]

 

GO RV, then BV    

[moose 57]

[Markinsa]

A room full of Hillarious Supporters

[FlyHi]

Dummies united

[Whatshername]

[moose 57]

 

 

 

[moose 57]

[RodandStaff]

Driving in Dallas...don't say you weren't warned!!! 

For all my friends and family that have never ventured to Dallas, Daalis, or Dallus, here is an aerial view of one of the major mix masters (highways intersecting) that is fairly close to where we live. 

TRUE STORY! Driving in Dallas......
First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.)

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas . We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth !"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman ...

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman .

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas , you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas
The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.
It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway . Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."
If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.
If you go to the Fair, pay the $15.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to Be armed in Texas.

 

Edited February 24, 2016 by RodandStaff

[RodandStaff]

 Snow took a new selfie today...it's just a pic of.... 

 

Special Delivery!!!   

 

For hubbies It doesn't get any more real than that!!!   

[RodandStaff]

How to tell the weather while we are on the beach!!!   

 

Hang on...Friday's coming!!! 

[RodandStaff]

Hey...I'm not sold on "The Donald" for being President just yet....but if this were true...I think I might be!!!  

TRUMP'S FIRST DAY AS PRESIDENT
1. President Donald J. Trump is sworn into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist Healthcare Farce piece of ****, known as the unconstitutional obamacare.The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare andMedicaid fraud. Government's costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed Department of Homeland Security Chief Lt. Col. Allen West announces the immediate deployment of troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social Security IDs are required by every American citizen. Birthright to illegals is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Sarah Palin eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Donald Trump Jr. announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillarious Clinton is in prison, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across from Jessie Jackson andReverend Al Sharpton (who has NEVER been an ordained reverend) who are serving time for 'Hate Crimes". She ******* at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call 'cruel and unusual punishment'.
7. U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly across fromNancy Pelosielosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz,Chris Matthewshews and U.S. Senator Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at 10 AM and discuss the success and benefits of Communism andSocialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the "Mothership" is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and returns to his homeland of kenya before his trial for treason begins. He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was last seen wandering through the jungle singing "Hakuna Matata" with a chimp named Osama Commie.
9. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
10. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.
And this my friends is just DAY ONE!

Edited February 24, 2016 by RodandStaff

[Sage449]

R&S - if I could give you more pluses, you'd have them. While posted in "silly smiles" I sure enjoyed the content.

[moose 57]

[EagleEye]

Driving in Dallas...don't say you weren't warned!!! 

For all my friends and family that have never ventured to Dallas, Daalis, or Dallus, here is an aerial view of one of the major mix masters (highways intersecting) that is fairly close to where we live. 

TRUE STORY! Driving in Dallas......

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.)

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray."

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas . We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth !"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman ...

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman .

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas , you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway . Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $15.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to Be armed in Texas.

 

 

Since I did in fact live in Plano...and knew someone well who is from Oak Cliff....but you forgot....if it's snowing get the heck off the roads...because Texans don't know how to drive in snow.....

[RodandStaff]

Since I did in fact live in Plano...and knew someone well who is from Oak Cliff....but you forgot....if it's snowing get the heck off the roads...because Texans don't know how to drive in snow.....

Lol...North Carolinians aren't any better!!! I grew up in Wisconsin so I do know how to drive in the snow but I'm smart enough to stay off the roads during bad weather...I don't wanna be somebody's target! I just stay at home, light the wood stove, and curl up with a good book or my wife...or both!!! ;o)

[moose 57]

 

[SnowGlobe7]

Hey...I'm not sold on "The Donald" for being President just yet....but if this were true...I think I might be!!!  

TRUMP'S FIRST DAY AS PRESIDENT

1. President Donald J. Trump is sworn into office.

2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist Healthcare Farce piece of ****, known as the unconstitutional obamacare.The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare andMedicaid fraud. Government's costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.

3. Newly appointed Department of Homeland Security Chief Lt. Col. Allen West announces the immediate deployment of troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social Security IDs are required by every American citizen. Birthright to illegals is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.

4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Sarah Palin eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.

5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Donald Trump Jr. announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.

6. Hillarious Clinton is in prison, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across from Jessie Jackson andReverend Al Sharpton (who has NEVER been an ordained reverend) who are serving time for 'Hate Crimes". She ******* at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call 'cruel and unusual punishment'.

7. U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly across fromNancy Pelosielosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz,Chris Matthewshews and U.S. Senator Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at 10 AM and discuss the success and benefits of Communism andSocialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the "Mothership" is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.

8. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and returns to his homeland of kenya before his trial for treason begins. He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was last seen wandering through the jungle singing "Hakuna Matata" with a chimp named Osama Commie.

9. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.

10. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.

And this my friends is just DAY ONE!

 

BEST POST EVER!!!

[Markinsa]