The Reality of a “Fifty Shades” Relationship

[yota691]

 

January 29, 2015

The Reality of a “Fifty Shades” Relationship

 

Truth has one shade and this is what it looks like. The mass media and throngs of women are swooning over the “love story” Fifty Shades of Grey. However, this cultural phenomenon’s impact to society will only serve to romanticize sexual violence and excuse domestic abuse.

While thousands of women are fantasizing about the controlling and abusive Christian Grey from the book, there are many women dealing with the horrors of actually living with men like him. The actions taken by Robert Bashara, 56, who goes by “Master Bob” in BDSM circles, paints a more realistic picture of how Fifty Shades of Grey plays out in real life. Bashara was recently sentenced to life in prison for killing his wife. His motive was her refusal to engage in a BDSM relationship or to consent to his having one with other women. On the surface, Bashara was a respected businessman and president of the Rotary Club, but in his other life, he brought women whom he referred to as ‘slaves’ to his sexual dungeon located under a local bar. Bashara’s own son and daughter testified against him, recounting his use of violent pornography and the controlling way he sought to dominate his wife.

“Master Bob—Master of Manipulation,” is the name given Bashara, by the judge who sentenced him to life in prison.

This real-life “Christian Grey” looked like a wonderful human being on the surface. But, the good job, powerful position in the community, looks and nice suits are not an indication that one is psychologically healthy or that they have a moral compass. TheFifty Shades firestorm pushes the lie that women can fix violent and controlling men by being obedient and loving. The reality, though, is that most women in these kinds of relationships end up dead, in a women’s shelter, or on the run for years.

At the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, we continually hear similar accounts of women whose sexual partner’s try to intimidate and coerce them into the violent acts that are now mainstream in pornography.

Society pays a price when we teach men to be turned on by women in pain. 89% of scenes in mainstream pornography today depict violence against women and this is spilling over into the mainstream media. As a result, sexual violence is on the rise in our military, in our best universities, and on the street. When we make violence sexy, it is no wonder that these are the consequences we face.

Porn will show you that women enjoy torture and violence and now Fifty Shades is tacking on an unrealistic fairy tale ending. It is time we speak up and stop obscuring the facts by allowing pornographers, like Fifty Shadesauthor E.L. James, to fool us into thinking this lifestyle is attractive, harmless, and empowering.

 

[Shabibilicious]

My wife and I don't plan on seeing the movie.......but if we do, it's nobody's business.  Censorship blows.    

 

GO RV, and NO BV

[jobug38]

It all boils down to ......sensuality and illusion of harm. It looks like it will hurt and it heightens you senses and you can escape anytime you want too. Also makes the act of love making very powerful....to willingly trust your partner no matter what! It brings you closer together! It doesn't have to happen like that everytime but it's a nice to spice it up every now and then! Its kinda like falling backwards and trusting someone catch you just with a twist. Yes as you can figure out I have done this and it was pure bless for me to truly trust in love! But then again there are sickos out there that want the pain more than the pleasure.try it don't try it that up to you! yes I am a good girl!

Edited February 13, 2015 by jobug38

[Whatshername]

This should cure anyone who thinks it might be erotic... :lol:

 

CAUTION... EXPLICIT LANGUAGE...

 

[jobug38]

Oh the a-hole that put me through heck back on 2008 beat me to a pulp broke my bones and put a gun to my head. He just was a control freak sociopath with mommy issues. The man I had my experience with was after him and one of the best men I had in my life. Unfortunately he passed away last year on March 12,2014

Now I have someone new in my life and hope to have that kind of trust with him.

[Muleslayer]

This should cure anyone who thinks it might be erotic... :lol:

 

CAUTION... EXPLICIT LANGUAGE...

 

O MY G O D!!!!!!

My ears! How can I UN hear that?

I think I need to become a monk now!

It is YOUR fault!

[umbertino]

It all boils down to ......sensuality and illusion of harm. It looks like it will hurt and it heightens you senses and you can escape anytime you want too. Also makes the act of love making very powerful....to willingly trust your partner no matter what! It brings you closer together! It doesn't have to happen like that everytime but it's a nice to spice it up every now and then! Its kinda like falling backwards and trusting someone catch you just with a twist. Yes as you can figure out I have done this and it was pure bless for me to truly trust in love! But then again there are sickos out there that want the pain more than the pleasure.try it don't try it that up to you! yes I am a good girl!

Agreed....Grazie for sharing.

[Bunk]

                        Having fun yet?

[EagleEye]

Thanks for bringing the truth about such things Mark....as a Pastor for  nearly 30 years I have seen the "Master Bob" types more than I care to remember...even in my own family...sorry gang it is NOT harmless as some would have you to believe. Jobug you were IMHO lucky to escape without harm. I have just two thoughts to add to this discussion and they are not my own:

 

Isa 5:18  Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope: 

Isa 5:19  That say, Let him make speed, and hasten his work, that we may see it: and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw nigh and come, that we may know it! 

Isa 5:20  Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 

Isa 5:21  Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! 

Isa 5:22  Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink: 

Isa 5:23  Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him! 

 

 

Joh 3:19  And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 

Joh 3:20  For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 

Joh 3:21  But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. 

 

 

Bash away if you want but realize you are aligning yourself with the "darkness".....

 

 

[RodandStaff]

 

There are plenty of ways of "spicing" up a romance without crossing the line of just plain wacked...you "can" get creative without gettin' disrespectful or abusive!!!  Yeah...a fire will always go out if you don't add fuel to the flames...just keep investing in the relationship and it will never grow old!!! (35 yrs. and counting  )!!!

[dog53]

Slap me again BABY!!!!

and show me you  love me.

hahahahahahahahaha.

What utter nonsense

[Whatshername]

O MY G O D!!!!!!

My ears! How can I UN hear that?

I think I need to become a monk now!

It is YOUR fault!

 

The popularity of this book has given many young women the illusion that real BDSM is not only okay but that it is gratifying.  Reality bites (horrible pun intended)!  50 Shades of Grey is a work of fiction meant to romanticize violence... and it sends a very bad message.

 

The funniest thing about the video I posted can be appreciated with the volume OFF... the looks on the women's faces as they're listening to Gottfried read it.  Powerful Aversion Therapy IMO!  If I had to listen to him read the Declaration of Independence... I'd probably be a commie! 

 

I apologize, Muleslayer.  Wasn't trying to punish (horrible pun intended) your ears!  My mind just naturally gravitates toward humor in ALL unpleasantness!  Is this more your speed?

 

 

 

[Muleslayer]

Got me!

Psssssst You better do somethin about that perm sister!

[RodandStaff]

Muleslayer they make an ear soap for that!!!! Lol!! ;o)

Edited February 15, 2015 by RodandStaff

[captl1]

Only 50 shades of gray is my hair... Good morning Rod.

[RodandStaff]

O MY G O D!!!!!!

My ears! How can I UN hear that?

I think I need to become a monk now!

It is YOUR fault!

Muleslayer they make an ear soap for that!!!! Lol!! ;o)

[DinarDiva007]

I appreciate you posting this. Everyone I knew was reading the book, so I picked it up to read it too. Could not get thru the first book at all. I was just puzzled by all the praise and gushing about this book. My ex was a psycho and did horrible things to me and I am lucky to have gotten out of it. That book triggered me and left me with the heebie geebies. I think the difference is if it is mutual, but so many controlling men do not care, they just want what they want. Then it bleeds over and it is no longer playtime. That's the difference. With that being said I do support no censorship, but I will not be seeing the movie. I prefer a love story like The Notebook where the woman is honored.

[RodandStaff]

Hey Capt....how's it going yourself? I have been busy remodeling a new place we bought just before Christmas! I think I will help stimulate the local remodeling workers income post RV...not that I'm afraid of a little work...I just figure we will all be too busy catching some rays to finish the work I have yet to do...but hey a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do! ;o)

[captl1]

Am doing well Rod. You and I aren't that far from each other. Snow tomorrow.

[umbertino]

This movie is #1 in movie theaters here in Italy too.

[yota691]

College student arrested after 'tying up classmate with belts in his dorm before whipping and raping her in attempt to recreate scene from Fifty Shades of Grey'

• Mohammad Hossain, 19, is accused of assaulting a fellow student
• He 'tied up his victim, whipping and punching her before raping her'
• Alleged assault took place in his dorm at University of Illinois Chicago
• He allegedly told police they were 're-enacting scenes from Fifty Shades'

By SARA MALM FOR MAILONLINE

PUBLISHED: 04:23 EST, 24 February 2015 | UPDATED: 20:15 EST, 24 February 2015

 

•  

A college student has been charged with sexually assaulting 19-year-old woman after he allegedly attempted to recreate Fifty Shades of Grey.

Mohammad Hossain, 19, is accused of tying up his victim, a fellow student, whipping and punching her before raping her in his dormitory at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

The engineering student has admitted to police that he assaulted the woman, but explained to them that it was because they were 're-enacting scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey'. 

 

 

+3

Charged: Mohammad Hossain, 19, is accused of tying up a fellow student, also 19, whipping and punching her before raping her in his dormitory at the University of Illinois at Chicago

 

 

 

 

Mr Hossain, a college freshman and student ambassador to the alumni association, and the alleged victim went to his room on Saturday afternoon.

Hossain is said to have asked her to remove her clothing, which she consented to but kept her bra and underwear on, before tying her hands and legs with belts, the Chicago Tribune reports.

 

He used a necktie to cover her mouth and pulled a knit cap over her eyes, before removing her underwear, Assistant State's Attorney Sarah Karr told the Cook County court.

Mr Hossain then struck her several times with a belt before she told him to stop as he was hurting her, the court heard.

The woman 'began shaking her head and crying', but Mr Hossain is said to have continued to hit her with the belt and also punched her several times.

 

 

+3

Copy cat: The engineering student allegedly admitted to university police that he assaulted the woman, but explained to them that it was because they were 're-enacting scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey'

 

 

+3

Assault: The victim, also a University of Illinois at Chicago student, said Mr Hossain continued to whip and punch her with his fists after she began crying and telling him to stop, before proceeding to rape her

Despite the victim crying and continuing to beg him to stop, Mr Hossein held her arms behind her back and sexually assaulted her, an arrest warrant claims.

The woman left Mr Hossain's dorm after the alleged assault and reported the incident to the police.

Mr Hossain was arrested by campus police, and after admitting to 'doing something wrong' and assaulting the woman, he told officers they had been 're-enacting scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey', Ms Karr said according to the newspaper.

Mr Hossain remains in custody on a $500,000 bail. His lawyer claims he thought the sex was consensual.

The hit film Fifty Shades of Grey is an adaptation of the adaptation of the best-selling novel by British author E.L. James.

The film, which stars James Dornan as BDSM-loving billionaire Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson as innocent college student Anastasia 'Ana' Steele, spent a second weekend at the top of the U.S. and Canadian box office charts.

Fifty Shades, directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, has already racked up $410 million in global sales in less than two weeks, according to Universal Pictures.

 

[RodandStaff]

That moral slide didn't take long!

[jobug38]

Just stupid kids taking it to far? Doubt it, it may be that Mohammad there has always been taught that a woman is a lowly animal and the poor girl was his first victim to his fantasy of rape. And is using the movie to blame for his on darkness inside. Like I said in earlier post there are sickos out there. The movie DIDN'T MAKE HIM DO THAT it was in him in the first place! Not defending the movie here just the his motives!

[jobug38]

Thanks for bringing the truth about such things Mark....as a Pastor for nearly 30 years I have seen the "Master Bob" types more than I care to remember...even in my own family...sorry gang it is NOT harmless as some would have you to believe. Jobug you were IMHO lucky to escape without harm. I have just two thoughts to add to this

discussion and they are not my own:

Isa 5:18 Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope:

Isa 5:19 That say, Let him make speed, and hasten his work, that we may see it: and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw nigh and come, that we may know it!

Isa 5:20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Isa 5:21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!

Isa 5:22 Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink:

Isa 5:23 Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!

Joh 3:19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Joh 3:20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

Joh 3:21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

Bash away if you want but realize you are aligning yourself with the "darkness".....

Eagle I wouldn't have even tried it at all if I didn't completely trust him! I wasn't then and I am still not a stupid woman! Some people think so negatively and take something created in imagination and turn it into something dark and sinister. I don't condone the book or the movie, only gave some testimony of my on experience with it. I am lucky I experienced it with someone who wasn't a latent rape harbinger control freak. It was a test of trusting in love for the both of us and we became the closest two people inlove that we could be! Edited February 28, 2015 by jobug38

[Geck]

This movie is #1 in movie theaters here in Italy too.

You know, if I want to watch a rich guy beat on people, I'll just watch a Batman movie.