moose 57 Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Subject: NEW CROP OF IDIOTS Number One Idiot I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag."; While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America . Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America . Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40 . Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs . He immediately mailed in his $40. Wise guy ... But you still get a sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Five Idiot A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashierrefused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."; The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, " Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign. (Must have been Wolverine football players.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Seven Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stay Alert! They walk among us ... they reproduce ... they vote! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah Layne Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Hahahahahaha!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texstorm Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Yes they do walk among us and God loves them all, even though I've tried I'm not that strong. Thanks Moose ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah Layne Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 I remember during my BFFs senior year of HS, she mentioned that Captain Kangaroo and Walter Cronkite are the same person. Lol! That was about the stoopidest thing I'd ever heard. She went on to become a CPA. And then a D.Vm. And now a Major in the US Army. So there's hope 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWitte Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Is this going to degenerate into a thread of some of the "stoopidest" stupidest things we have ever heard personally? OK,I'm in. A guy I used to work with used to tell us his truck could stop faster than ours because it had brakes on all four wheels. Yep, you guessed it. It was a four wheel drive. And no I don't have to make it up. I just have to remember. Sorry for the dis Deb. Couldn't resist. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shabibilicious Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 I remember during my BFFs senior year of HS, she mentioned that Captain Kangaroo and Walter Cronkite are the same person. Lol! That was about the stoopidest thing I'd ever heard. She went on to become a CPA. And then a D.Vm. And now a Major in the US Army. So there's hope Sooooo.....your BFF outranks Capt. Kangaroo, but not Capt. Crunch. GO RV, and NO BV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davis411 Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 hahaha we just had one in ontario toronto, guy about 70 something years old taking cash from restaurant to bank, young guy tries to rob him, old buggar beat the hell out of him, then chased him down and beat him more was so funny, never mess with the seniors i say thanks for the laughs davis 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gymrat76541 Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 I always laugh when someone says that many people who commit crimes are above average intelligence! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deborah Layne Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 (edited) Lol, did you hear the one about the anti-American guy who was born in Kenya, and then a bunch of people voted him into the U.S. Presidency - TWICE?? Lol!!! Okay, neg me if you want. I was just sayin' Edited December 29, 2014 by Deborah Layne 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kandi77 Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 A few years ago I went to buy a gift card to a movie theatre. When I got up to the window, I asked the young lady for a $30 dollar gift card and handed her $40 (2 - $20s). She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, I can't give change for a gift card." I looked at her like she was joking, then she asked if I had the exact amount or if I wanted a $40 dollar gift card. I told her that I no longer wanted a gift card, but asked if she had change for a $20. She said, OK, and handed me 2 - $10s. Then I said, ok, now I'll take a $30 gift card. She got it for me, but it was obvious that she had no idea what had just happened. The people behind me even broke out laughing!! Here's your Sign!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moose 57 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 We were at a baseball game at Fenway park (Yankees vs Red Sox). You have to show your ID for a beer. My nephew is from Montana. He showed his ID and the guy looked at him and asked if Montana was a state. Of course "yes it is", he didn't believe him and went to get his supervisor to make sure Montana was a state! beware, they are among us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWitte Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 (edited) Lol, did you hear the one about the anti-American guy who was born in Kenya, and then a bunch of people voted him into the U.S. Presidency - TWICE?? Lol!!! Okay, neg me if you want. I was just sayin' No need to neg the truth. Besides, I doubt too many people here voted for him anyways. I think this thread could go on forever and never get old. And we don't even have to make anything up. Just have to remember past stories or incidents. Well, that may be a problem by itself. Or it could be therapeutic. Hell if I know. I just know it's good for a laugh and a release from reality. That was a dumb statement by itself after what I just said. I hope it's somewhat different from my reality. But I have done some pretty stooooopid things. But it'll have to wait until later. Maybe for another thread. We can who can top the list for stupid things that we actually did ourselves. Happy New Year. And don't try to get on the list just yet. It's for past experiences. Edited December 29, 2014 by DWitte 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gymrat76541 Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Ever see that comedy with Eddie Murphy where he was elected because of name association? Obummer was the same thing! People wanted change - that's why they voted for him! Well, they got change but maybe not in the direction they wanted to go! LOL The point is: Washington and our political leaders need to wake up & realize that the American people are getting fed-up with the direction that they are driving America! I am hoping for a brighter future & I think it starts with a RETURN to some of our founding beliefs & looking out for the welfare of America's people over the political/coorporate/special interest groups. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronscarpa Posted December 30, 2014 Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 Subject: NEW CROP OF IDIOTS Stay Alert! They walk among us ... they reproduce ... they vote! Thanks Moose ... a few good laughs .. (+1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankdude Posted December 30, 2014 Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 We were at a baseball game at Fenway park (Yankees vs Red Sox). You have to show your ID for a beer. My nephew is from Montana. He showed his ID and the guy looked at him and asked if Montana was a state. Of course "yes it is", he didn't believe him and went to get his supervisor to make sure Montana was a state! beware, they are among us WHAT!!! Of course MT is a state - although we are sometimes confused with Southern Canada or West Dakota... http://geochristian.com/2007/12/05/a-different-map-of-montana/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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