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New Crop of Idiots‏


moose 57
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Subject:  NEW CROP OF IDIOTS
 Number One Idiot
 
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill 
the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
 
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Number Two Idiot
 
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the 
plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the 
chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. 
 
 
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 
Number Three Idiot
 
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag."; While standing in line, 
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the 
teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his 
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she 
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo 
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America . Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .
 
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Number Four Idiot
 
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40 . Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs . He immediately mailed in his $40. Wise guy ... But you still get a sign.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 
Number Five Idiot
 
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the 
robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."; The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she 
didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed 
that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called 
the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
 
This guy definitely needs a sign .
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 
Idiot Number Six
 
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, " Nobody move!"
 
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign. (Must have been Wolverine football players.)
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Idiot Number Seven
 
Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
 
Yep, here's your sign .
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
  
            
 
Stay Alert! They walk among us ... they reproduce ... they vote!
 

 

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Is this going to degenerate into a thread of some of the "stoopidest" stupidest things we have ever heard personally?  OK,I'm in.  A guy I used to work with used to tell us his truck could stop faster than ours because it had brakes on all four wheels.  Yep, you guessed it.  It was a four wheel drive.

And no I don't have to make it up.  I just have to remember.

Sorry for the dis Deb.  Couldn't resist.

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I remember during my BFFs senior year of HS, she mentioned that Captain Kangaroo and Walter Cronkite are the same person. Lol! That was about the stoopidest thing I'd ever heard.

She went on to become a CPA. And then a D.Vm. And now a Major in the US Army. So there's hope ;)

 

Sooooo.....your BFF outranks Capt. Kangaroo, but not Capt. Crunch.   :D 

 

GO RV, and NO BV

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hahaha we just had one in ontario toronto, guy about 70 something years old taking cash from restaurant to bank, young guy tries to rob him,

old buggar beat the hell out of him, then chased him down and beat him more

was so funny, never mess with the seniors i say

 

thanks for the laughs

davis

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A few years ago I went to buy a gift card to a movie theatre.  When I got up to the window, I asked the young lady for a $30 dollar gift card and handed her $40 (2 - $20s).  She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, I can't give change for a gift card."  I looked at her like she was joking, then she asked if I had the exact amount or if I wanted a $40 dollar gift card.  I told her that I no longer wanted a gift card, but asked if she had change for a $20.  She said, OK, and handed me 2 - $10s.  Then I said, ok, now I'll take a $30 gift card.  She got it for me, but it was obvious that she had no idea what had just happened.  The people behind me even broke out laughing!!   Here's your Sign!!!

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We were at a baseball game at Fenway park (Yankees vs Red Sox). 

You have to show your ID for a beer. My nephew is from Montana.

He showed his ID and the guy looked at him and asked if Montana

was a state. Of  course "yes it is", he didn't believe him and went to

get his supervisor to make sure Montana was a state!

 

beware, they are among us

 

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Lol, did you hear the one about the anti-American guy who was born in Kenya, and then a bunch of people voted him into the U.S. Presidency - TWICE?? Lol!!!

Okay, neg me if you want. I was just sayin' ;)

No need to neg the truth.  Besides, I doubt too many people here voted for him anyways.

 

I think this thread could go on forever and never get old.  And we don't even have to make anything up.  Just have to remember past stories or incidents.  Well, that may be a problem by itself.  Or it could be therapeutic.  Hell if I know.  I just know it's good for a laugh and a release from reality.  That was a dumb statement by itself after what I just said.  I hope it's somewhat different from my reality.  But I have done some pretty stooooopid things.  But it'll have to wait until later.  Maybe for another thread.  We can who can top the list for stupid things that we actually did ourselves.

 

Happy New Year.  And don't try to get on the list just yet.  It's for past experiences.

Edited by DWitte
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Ever see that comedy with Eddie Murphy where he was elected because of name association?

 

Obummer was the same thing! People wanted change - that's why they voted for him! Well, they got change but maybe not in the direction they wanted to go! LOL

 

The point is: Washington and our political leaders need to wake up & realize that the American people are getting fed-up with the direction that they are driving America!

 

I am hoping for a brighter future & I think it starts with a RETURN to some of our founding beliefs & looking out for the welfare of America's people over the political/coorporate/special interest groups.

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We were at a baseball game at Fenway park (Yankees vs Red Sox). 

You have to show your ID for a beer. My nephew is from Montana.

He showed his ID and the guy looked at him and asked if Montana

was a state. Of  course "yes it is", he didn't believe him and went to

get his supervisor to make sure Montana was a state!

 

beware, they are among us

WHAT!!! Of course MT is a state - although we are sometimes confused with Southern Canada or West Dakota...

 

 http://geochristian.com/2007/12/05/a-different-map-of-montana/

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