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So, What’s It Going To Be? (About Syria)


Lostenso
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By Bashar al-Assad

 

Well, here we are. It’s been two years of fighting, over 100,000 people are dead, there are no signs of this war ending, and a week ago I used chemical weapons on my own people. If you don’t do anything about it, thousands of Syrians are going to die. If you do something about it, thousands of Syrians are going to die. Morally speaking, you’re on the hook for those deaths no matter how you look at it.

So, it’s your move, America. What’s it going to be?

I’ve looked at your options, and I’m going to be honest here, I feel for you. Not exactly an embarrassment of riches you’ve got to choose from, strategy-wise. I mean, my God, there are just so many variables to consider, so many possible paths to choose, each fraught with incredible peril, and each leading back to the very real, very likely possibility that no matter what you do it’s going to backfire in a big, big way. It’s a good old-fashioned mess, is what this is! And now, you have to make some sort of decision that you can live with.

So, where do I begin? Well, this is just the tip of the iceberg, but let’s start with the fact that my alliance with Russia and China means that nothing you decide to do will have the official support of the UN Security Council. So, right off the bat, I’ve already eliminated the possibility of a legally sound united coalition like in Libya or the First Gulf War. Boom. Gone. Off the table.

Now, let’s say you’re okay with that, and you decide to go ahead with, oh, I don’t know, a bombing campaign. Now, personally, I can see how that might seem like an attractive option for you. No boots on the ground, it sends a clear message, you could cripple some of my government’s infrastructure, and it’s a quick, clean, easy way to punish me and make you look strong in the face of my unimaginable tyranny. But let’s get real here. Any bombing campaign capable of being truly devastating to my regime would also end up killing a ton of innocent civilians, as such things always do, which I imagine is the kind of outcome you people would feel very guilty about. You know, seeing as you are so up in arms to begin with about innocent Syrians dying. Plus, you’d stoke a lot of anti-American hatred and quite possibly create a whole new generation of Syrian-born jihadists ready to punish the United States for its reckless warmongering and yadda yadda yadda.

Okay, what else? Well, you could play small-ball and hope that limited airstrikes to a few of my key military installations will send me the message to refrain from using chemical weapons again, but, c’mon, check me out: I’m ruthless, I’m desperate, and I’m going to do everything I can to stay in power. I’d use chemical weapons again in a heartbeat. You know that. And I know you know that. Hell, I want to help you guys out here, but you gotta be realistic. Trust me, I am incapable of being taught a lesson at this point. Got it? I am too far gone. Way too far gone.

Oh, and I know some of you think a no-fly zone will do the trick, but we both know you can’t stomach the estimated $1 billion a month that would cost, so wave bye-bye to that one, too.

Moving on.

I suppose you could always, you know, not respond with military force at all. But how can you do that? I pumped sarin gas into the lungs of my own people, for God’s sake! You can’t just let me get away with that, can you? I mean, I guess you easily could, and spare yourself all of this headache, but then you would probably lose any of your remaining moral high ground on the world stage and make everything from the Geneva Conventions to America’s reputation as a beacon for freedom and democracy around the world look like a complete sham.

And, hey, as long as we’re just throwing stuff out there, let’s consider a ground invasion for a moment. Now, even if you could reasonably fund a ground invasion, which I’m pretty sure you can’t, what exactly would such an invasion accomplish in the long term? I suppose it’s possible that you could come in and sweep me out the door and that would be the end of it. It’s possible. You know, like, in the sense that seeing a majestic white Bengal tiger in the wild is possible. Or, more likely, you could find yourself entrenched in a full-blown civil war that drags on for 15 years and sets off further turmoil in the rest of the region, leading to even more dead bodies for your country and mine, and even more virulent hatred of America. In fact, boy, maybe this is the one option that should be totally off the table.

Oh, and speaking of me being toppled from power, let’s say, just for fun, that tomorrow I were to somehow be dethroned. Who’s in charge? Half of these rebel groups refuse to work with one another and it’s getting harder to tell which ones are actually just Islamic extremists looking to fill a potential power vacuum. We’ve got Christians, Sunnis, and Shias all poised to fight one another for control should I fall. You want to be the ones sorting through that mess when you’re trying to build a new government? I didn’t think so.

So, all in all, quite the pickle you’re in, isn’t it? I have to say, I do not envy you here. Really curious to see where you go with this one.

I’ll leave you with this: I am insane. Not insane enough to generate worldwide unanimity that I cannot remain in charge of my own country. That would make this a lot easier. No, unfortunately, I’m just sane and stable enough to remain in power and devise cunning military and political strategies while at the same time adhering to a standard of morality that only the most perverse and sociopathic among us would be capable of adopting. But nevertheless, I am insane, so do with that information what you will.

Long story short, I’m going to keep doing my best to hold on to my country no matter what the cost. If that means bombing entire towns, murdering small children, or shooting at UN weapons inspectors, so be it. I’m in this for the long haul. And you will do...whatever it is you’re going to do, which is totally up to you. Your call.

Anyway, let me know what you decide. I’ll be waiting.

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/so-whats-it-going-to-be,33662/

 

 

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It's all very confusing, my Friend. Let's not forget  Bashar ain't no Saint either..... He's a Dictator just like his butcher Father was..... Keeping good relationships with the West  with the guarantee of stopping religious extremism....  That  motive would then  give him carte blanche for any kind of  slaughter. In change  the West would not interfere in the way he'd ( mis) treat his People.

 

 Deeming Syria ( Father & Son) as their leisure turf for them to do as they please(d) including massacring folks.

 

 I do understand it's extremely difficult to see who are the good ones and who are the bad ones when it comes to the Guerrilla. Too many groups, some  with very bad ties. I get that.

 

 Still I think the eye doc is a very bad Person and should be removed. JMVHO.

Edited by umbertino
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If we are not going to take over their country if we defeat them at war then whats the point.

As far as their children. We have them dying over here in the USA by the hundreds on a daily basis. through gangland violence or the new heroin epidemic

You take care of yours and we`ll take care of ours. If we are pressed in to a war that we don't want. then all conquered land is forfeited to the USA and subject to US law

All armed radicals will be shot on sight. while honest citizens of that country will be able to arm themselves in the same manner US citizens are .armed.

All natural resources in that country will belong to the US. Any major power like Russia/China who opposes this can get screwed. 

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Let's not forget the satirical nature of this article.

 

Oh I got it the  satirical nature of the article.

 

But whats really scary is most of it is true.

It would wind up just like iraq

warring tribes jockeying for power.

You cant do it half a$$`ed

You would have to do what they did to the first nations

and we simply do not have the belly for it anymore.(thank god) 

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You got it Dog.... lets just hope there isn't some "event" go down that gives us the belly.... This arena is incredibly dicey. We didn't get or keep hold of the insurrection as well as we did in other countries of the ME. One of the biggest problems... and I'm serious, was "who" do we arm? Its so sketchy, fragmented, disorganized,  we couldn't figure out who the helllll to give the weapons to. So we did a trial and error approach by way of introducing them to various factions to see how it would play out [insert Benghazi here]... And Dog I think you pretty much have it nailed in short.... Its so fractured right now that we would have to take over if we go in... as its still not clear who (or what) the most responsive to the people organized opposing leadership really is....

And going in puts us at the brink of the greatest cluster duck scenario possible, as it will put us at odds with Russia..... I'm with you in voting we stay out of it... and unfortunately, there is something of great value to the US that requires that specific area to become stabilized, organized and responsive to the interests of the US it's partner countries....

This could become so frickin ugly, so quick....  I pray patience, thoughtful slow, methodical decision making... and for the Love of God, that executive leadership put aside their egos and feelings and start talking to each other.... (ohhhhh yooo hoooo UN... that IS why you were created.... why not get busy and do your real job and get the helllll out of the domestic policy of individual countries)...

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I like the option of doing nothing!

 

If these people can not or will not stand up to their leaders then their options are clear; Leave the country or fight.

 

It is NOT the responsibility of the United States of America to do anything for Syria or it's people.

 

It is the responsibility of the United Nations. America is already feared and hated worldwide for taking actions against muslims.

 

Let the chips fall where they may and watch what happens on CNN. :)

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I like the option of doing nothing!

 

If these people can not or will not stand up to their leaders then their options are clear; Leave the country or fight.

 

It is NOT the responsibility of the United States of America to do anything for Syria or it's people.

 

It is the responsibility of the United Nations. America is already feared and hated worldwide for taking actions against muslims.

 

Let the chips fall where they may and watch what happens on CNN. :)

 

You got it , any intervention by the US would only result in even more hatred of the US

 

To a lot of countries , the US is seen as an aggressive teenager, forever posturing and flexing its muscle's but never really knowing what to with all that power.

 

I agree with you, for once the US should just stand back and let it play out.

 

let someone else deal with it.

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I have a Syrian friend who still has family there. The rebels scare them more than Asad ever did.. they are major extremists in his eyes. He also has reservations on the chemical attacks. He says that the rebels would have no problem killing hundreds ( martyrs) with chemical bombs to get the worlds attention and Asad the blame.   Who knows whats true at this point.

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Another thing kills me. The oil companies are using this as an excuse to jack up oil prices AGAIN.

 

I worked at a major convention hotel for years and I was shocked at the Oil Company Conventions held there EVERY year celebrating their RECORD PROFITS and spending hundreds of thousands wining and dining the rich.

 

I do get it - I understand that business is in the business of making money. My point is that at some point, the American people are going to say; Enough is enough. Oil companies and all mega corportations in America need to scale back a little for the overall good of our economy.

 

Just my opinion, but I guess since I am NOT a stockholder it does not count. :(

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You got it Dog.... lets just hope there isn't some "event" go down that gives us the belly.... This arena is incredibly dicey. We didn't get or keep hold of the insurrection as well as we did in other countries of the ME. One of the biggest problems... and I'm serious, was "who" do we arm? Its so sketchy, fragmented, disorganized,  we couldn't figure out who the helllll to give the weapons to. So we did a trial and error approach by way of introducing them to various factions to see how it would play out [insert Benghazi here]... And Dog I think you pretty much have it nailed in short.... Its so fractured right now that we would have to take over if we go in... as its still not clear who (or what) the most responsive to the people organized opposing leadership really is....

And going in puts us at the brink of the greatest cluster duck scenario possible, as it will put us at odds with Russia..... I'm with you in voting we stay out of it... and unfortunately, there is something of great value to the US that requires that specific area to become stabilized, organized and responsive to the interests of the US it's partner countries....

This could become so frickin ugly, so quick....  I pray patience, thoughtful slow, methodical decision making... and for the Love of God, that executive leadership put aside their egos and feelings and start talking to each other.... (ohhhhh yooo hoooo UN... that IS why you were created.... why not get busy and do your real job and get the helllll out of the domestic policy of individual countries)...

I'm with you Rayzur... on the praying.  I vote we stay out. 

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