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Not the Cleanest Joke ... But I Laughed ... So ...


smee2
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Note, Just so you'll know ... 
 
The Newfie, to Canadians, is a resident of the Maritimes, our eastcoast fishery, always struggling to make a living on the water with all the cuts in species limits, closing of processing plants which usually closes the entire village, and generally a rough sort of life. In their speech, and their sometimes fishy perfume, they sometimes resemble the men of the United States east coast fisheries, if you know what I mean. And in attitudes and in their level of sophistication they might rank up there with the people who live in the shadow of the legend of the Hatfields and the McCoys. They are blue collar but have the red neck to qualify and certainly do qualify there. So, that is the kind of person you are going to encounter in this short story ... which made me laugh though it is borderline when it comes to whether I will share or not. This time I decided to share. Hope I didn't offend anyone. 
 
smee2
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
HOWLER OF THE DAY
As good as this bar is," said the Albertan, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Brooks, there's a wee place called The Brooks Hotel.
The owner goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well," said the Nova Scotian, "At my local in Halifax, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfounlander, "back home at my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink of Rum, then another, all the drinks you like.
Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!" 

The Alberta and Nova Scotian were suspicious of these claims. 

The Newfie swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Newfie, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times. "
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I spend about 2 weeks in New Fundie, kayaking and hiking the Gros Morne and I swear to god, I had hour long conversations with these folks and couldn't understand a WORD they said besides, "Moose" "Pond"(a lake), "Leek" (a hole in your boat NOT a lake) and so on. Funniest English speech I have ever heard. And at the end of any sentence, they would say, "Yah know what I mean, man?"

"Ah, yeah...sure" "Really??" "Wow!" The whole time I am thinking, "WTF!!!"

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