EMPLOYEE NOTICE!!

[Slaydadea]

EMPLOYEE NOTICE

    

Due to the current sequester, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    

       This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People  Early).

    

       Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced  Termination).

    

       Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    

       A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the  Government deems appropriate.

    

       Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents  & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    

       Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any  further by the Government.

    

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens.

    

Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your Representative, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can  handle.

 

Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    

PS - Due to recent budget cuts  and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

[RodandStaff]

Don't know if I should laugh or cry Slay... maybe both!!!        

[moose 57]

Who figures this kind of stuff out?   (too much time on their hands)

[UNEEK]

Dang --  how in the  world would someone know and be able to put that together so darn cleverly and it  be so darn right  - I am not fond of the message but I will give a +1 for the bringer -  not sure that I will share   with anyone  -  the language is a little sharp for my daily use - but it is still  the  darn truth no matter how you look at it and cleverly put together -