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Liitle Johnny Joke


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A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need

> at home?

>

> Joey says "A computer." The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."

>

> Kimmy says "A new lawn mower." and gets a similar response.

>

> Little Johnny pops up and says "At my house we don't need nothing!"

>

> The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.

>

> Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When Obama was re-elected, I remember

> my dad saying, 'Well, that's the last ******* thing we needed’.”

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Full of Hot Air

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it's MY fault.

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