OK here it is.....Share your testimonys

[Muleslayer]

When I was only five years old, my mother let me walk with her to the corner of a busy street in L. A., and warning me not to wake "daddy," she told me to go home, got on a bus, waved goodbye, and that was the last time I saw her for 38 years. My father, who was an alcholic, was lying on the bed in a stupor when I got home, and I had two baby sisters in a playpen at the end of the sofa. He loaded us all up and drove back to southern Missouri to an uncle's house, and an aunt and her husband from Arkansas drove up there and took two of us home with them. They didn't take my youngest sister for some reason. They later adopted the two of us. My adoptive mother was a controller and an abuser. She treated my little sister fine, but she beat me, kicked me, slapped me, yanked my hair, scratched me, and tormented me regularly. She blamed me for everything that went wrong in her entire life. If ever there was a woman who seemed set on destroying a young life, it was her. She was incredibly critical of me, and nothing I could ever do was good enough for her. And yet, as an adult, I know she loved me. However, as a child, I couldn't wade through all the "stuff" she kept covering me with to figure that out. I never once heard her say "I love you," but I often heard her say, "You are worthless." Many people like her need a scapegoat, and for her, I served that purpose. When I was 19, I married a guy who had graduated high school with me. Little did I know that I was marrying someone just like my mother, a serious complainer and controller. The only credit I'll give him is that he never hit me. Everything was about him, and he made sure he got something out of every move I made. He didn't want me to get a driver's license, but I did it, and he jabbed his finger in my face several times and shouted, "Well, you're not driving. If you need to go somewhere, I'll take you." Hmmmm . . . Of course I drove. But each time I did so, he chalked it up against me, even many years later. Then when my last of four little ones marched off to school with her brothers and her sister, I went to college. I almost had to do it over his dead body, but I had about decided I was willing to pay that price. haha I was scared silly, wasn't sure I could even do college work, but I had figured out that I needed an education to be able to provide for my children if my husband decided he wanted out of our marriage. He was a constant whiner and complainer, and to this day, when someone whines, I get chill bumps and want to lash out at them. But to hear him tell it, my going to college was just another "cross" my poor husband had to bear. It seems that, no matter how hard he shoved his thumb down on me, I never stayed under it. And eventually, I earned three degrees in English and became a Senior Professor of English. When our last child left home, my husband wanted a divorce, and although it was a difficult time for me, it was because I felt that I had lost so much else, not that I was "losing" him. However, I was divorced before I got my first college teaching position, but I had made such good grades that I gathered my courage and tested for Mensa. According to the results of those tests, my I.Q. is 169. But my emotional self-love was below zero. Other than my children, I had never felt the love of a meaningful person in my life. In fact, that had been the case for so long that, to me, it was just the status quo, something I neither thought about nor questioned. It was just how "it" was. But there was also a strain of sadness that seemed to permeate every facet of my life. Ten years or so after my divorce, I met a guy in a little bar down the street from my home. I had a couple women friends whom I used to meet there on Friday nights, and we used to have a couple drinks, talk about our week, and then go home. Sometimes I would drive to my daughter's house for the weekend, so I wouldn't go, and sometimes one or the other of the other women didn't show up either. Then one night I went over there, and neither of them were there. But a former student of mine was there, and he introduced Jim to me. Jimmy is the only man who ever courted me by telling me about the Mobius Strip, the Klein Bottle, and the Mandelbrot Theory, and apparently I fell for it. lol He was a very complex man--as he was also the first man to buy me my own pool cue and my own motorcycle helmet. <smile> We met on the first Friday in June of 1998. By Christmas, we were in love, but since we were older and felt that we had more to lose, we decided to take the next year to be sure this is what we wanted. We traveled that year, 1999, going to see my son and his family in NC, to see Jim's nephew and his family in Georgia, and to see my daughter and her family in Puerto Rico. By year's end, we knew we wanted to be together the rest of our lives, so we planned to be married in the Year 2000, the turn of the century year, and a new life for us. Jimmy treated me like a princess. He was loving, attentive, and caring. He cooked. He cleaned. He repaired things that got broken. He loved my little granddaughter, and all my family, for that matter. I could write pages about that good man, but suffice it to say, he was the first grownup person in my entire life (other than my grown children) who loved me and made sure I knew it, through everything he said and did. By January 1, 2000, Jim began to feel some odd twinges, so we began going to doctors. Eventually, and not all at once, we learned that he had lung, liver, and bone cancer. But the fact that we were older didn't stop us, and we decided to get married anyway. We did so under the flowering pear tree in front of our home. Family and friends gathered and celebrated with us. That was on April 1, 2000, and Jimmy called us the two happiest fools in the Universe--and we were. Then by mid-May, Jim became hospital bed bound in our home. Before he got sick, we used to call my 18 month old little granddaughter and ask her, "Would you like to come to our house for the weekend?" And her baby answer was always "yesh." She adored her Grandpa Jim. Then her visits became fewer and fewer. As Jim continued to weaken, I finally began sleeping on the sofa to be near him, knowing his time was extremely limited. The last night of his life, I bent over his bed and said, "Jimmy, I love you so much!" I got no answer, but he was so weak and frail that I expected none. After a moment or two, I bent down to his bed again and said, "And I know you love me, too, don't you?" Again no answer, but again I expected none. After a few moments, I patted his arm, kissed his forehead, and went back and lay down on the sofa again. Then in a couple minutes, I heard floating across the soft darkness his weak frail voice-- "yesh." He used little Rachael's baby word to say the last word he ever spoke, to tell me he loved me. The next morning about 7 a.m., I was standing at his side and holding his hand when my beloved Jim breathed his last and "became one with the Ages." From the date we met until the date he died, JimBear and I only shared a total of 2 years, 1 month, and 11 days. But it was enough. It was enough that I have known ever since how it feels to be totally loved and I've known that even I truly could be very loved. Until then, through my entire life, I had never known that. And I can tell you, we really don't know what we don't know. Now I do. And because I finally knew that, I could also accept as a fact God's love for me. I had loved God for many years, but I had never felt His love for me. It was only after I'd felt Jim's love for me that I even could feel God's love for me. Since then, I have completed my teaching career, retired, and eventually moved in with my youngest daughter and her family. They want me, and they love me here, and I am lucky among mothers to know it. But I will walk tall among women for the rest of my life because I was once loved by an incredible man. And when I die, I am as sure as I am of my own heartbeat that he will be there waiting to welcome me and show me around. God is good to me, and even when it didn't feel like it, He was always good to me. It's amazing how the love of a truly good man awakened in me God's love, which had always been with me, even when I felt it the least. Having Jim in my life, even for that very short time, changed everything, and I will be forever grateful for it.

Luv ya Francie. You go girl!! Steel magnolias ain't got nuthin on you! colloquialisms on purpose

[Heavyduty053]

These stories show just how God can show up in a person's life when they think there is no hope at all. God loves even the evilest person and wishes for him to change before life ends. The cross showed us that we have a friend for life.

[Heavyduty053]

Smee, the one who has the answers for you is Jesus. First he knows you have unanswered questions and he knows that you have some resistance because of it. Can you pray an honest prayer in Jesus name with everything blocked out except you and him. Can you have faith to wait to recieve that answer. Sometimes the answer comes when we least expect it and we miss it if our faith has been soiled somewhat. No one can give you this answer except God. Go to him in prayer ask for forgiveness for anything known or unknown that you know or not know and then ask him to reveal to you what you ask......He will answer when the time is right.

I was a child, about ten or eleven, when my grandfather died. I was confused about why and what next, but I was mostly confused about why God would let such a good man suffer so much before taking him to heaven.

My mom was the one try to answer those kinds of questions, and she was raising her children Catholic. As a Catholic we were taught about pergatory, that half-way step between life and heaven, where you go to wait for heaven because you haven't been bad enough to go to hell, but you haven't been good enough to go directly to heaven, do not pass go ... you get the idea.

Well, mom told me that God had allowed Grandpa to suffer in his last months here on earth so that he would not have to wait in pergatory. The pain and suffering he went through here would be sufficient penance that he would not have to wait and would go straight to heaven. Well, it made me feel better at the time, as it would any child who was trying to understand death, and suffering, and felt the loss of someone she loved a great deal.

So now, what do I have to thank God for? I thank Him for giving me the pain, and suffering, and sometimes the absolute darkest of nights in which to hide with my agony and tears ... because according to my mom, who passed away decades ago, all that suffering, that God allows, would mean a direct trip to heaven.

This is NOT meant to be sarcastic or in any way disrespectful. It is absolutely true and that is how I really feel. I have had to feel that way or I would not be able to handle what I have to deal with otherwise. I guess I have to thank God for the wisdom to accept and believe whatever will get me through this life.

Thanks for the opportunity to ... share.

/>

smee2

[DinarDana]

What amazing stories and thanks for sharing them.

 

I thank God for my three adopted children who taught me so much about pain and suffering, but not mine, theirs. I suffered their pain so much and could only love them more for what they had been through in their short lives. I was led by GOD to love them no matter what and to stick by them, no matter how many times they pushed me away, I became stronger and stronger. I did this over and over, year after year, and now they are young adults on their way to a happy life. I thank GOD for giving me the strength.

[flatdawg]

[Muleslayer]

Just imagine

A world filled with people filled with love for on another.

If that is how you see the world flatdawg that is up to you.

We will know in the end. At least I will.

[aliciadogz]

There been a lot of ups and downs overs years its been ruff I guess I can say it could  have been worst. I've live most of my life alone I look at it as life little lessons. I'm Bless because mydogz make life wroth living. I do pray there better life out there me. DV has more or less become my family I laugh with guys, I get mad you guys ,cried with you guys and come to love you guys so that makes you my family. I'm Bless DV is family.

[catmax]

Thanks for asking.

I am blessed because my Dad made the whole world and my brother did it with Him. My brother is the king of all kings.  I get to hang out with Him all the time.  He said He would come back to get me in person some day so I can be with Him forever.  He is the word awesome. And I am blessed because of it.

[Old Constipate]

Flatdawg, Thanks for your input. I like that- 'if people gave up religion for reality'

Reality = the state of the world as it really is rather than as you might want it to be.

And thanks Heavyduty053.

[colt32]

 

Imagine.... if you truly believed in atheism then you would disregard love altogether. Because... if Love (God) does not exist then it is a concept concieved in the minds of man. You would get the most for yourself and live for yourself because after you die... there is nothing. No afterlife, no heaven no hell, no meaning.... nothing......just non existance. Just this life then nothing.......... but, Love (God) does exist. Even the good that we want to do for others is inspired by this love. To do good for others while continuing to deny that good, love (God) exists is a circular argument that will inevitably fail because we cannot do good without the love (God) has put in our hearts.

 

1 John 4:16

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

 

God speed

[AJC]

God's hand on me and my family is a great blessing everyday. Thank You Lord !!!!

[Heavyduty053]

I was a child, about ten or eleven, when my grandfather died. I was confused about why and what next, but I was mostly confused about why God would let such a good man suffer so much before taking him to heaven.

My mom was the one try to answer those kinds of questions, and she was raising her children Catholic. As a Catholic we were taught about pergatory, that half-way step between life and heaven, where you go to wait for heaven because you haven't been bad enough to go to hell, but you haven't been good enough to go directly to heaven, do not pass go ... you get the idea.

Well, mom told me that God had allowed Grandpa to suffer in his last months here on earth so that he would not have to wait in pergatory. The pain and suffering he went through here would be sufficient penance that he would not have to wait and would go straight to heaven. Well, it made me feel better at the time, as it would any child who was trying to understand death, and suffering, and felt the loss of someone she loved a great deal.

So now, what do I have to thank God for? I thank Him for giving me the pain, and suffering, and sometimes the absolute darkest of nights in which to hide with my agony and tears ... because according to my mom, who passed away decades ago, all that suffering, that God allows, would mean a direct trip to heaven.

This is NOT meant to be sarcastic or in any way disrespectful. It is absolutely true and that is how I really feel. I have had to feel that way or I would not be able to handle what I have to deal with otherwise. I guess I have to thank God for the wisdom to accept and believe whatever will get me through this life.

Thanks for the opportunity to ... share.

/>

smee2

Smee I can understand how you feel after all of this and I can only add this.....if we truly seek and answer from God and need to wait for that answer. It will come and maybe after a while we begin to occupy our minds with other things and we miss it.....Keep remembering when you ask for an answer.

[Heavyduty053]

Christianity is a faith not a religion so that all I can say about that. If you believe in God or not its your choice.

[pattyangel]

Everyone's testimonies are all beautiful, very touching to the heart.  Thank you for sharing.

 

Ooops, there were a couple that didn't share, but just critique, that's okay you just gave us an opportunity to keep you in our prayers. 

Edited August 3, 2013 by pattyangel

[catmax]

So Patty,  are you a minister or a minister's wife. No matter, thanks for being who you are... the moral compass that points others in the direction of God.

[jg1]

Thanks for sharing. Not very often you hear people open up and share like this. It goes to show you growing up in this world aint easy. We need alot of help. 

[Nelg]

I don't know exactly what to say in this thread.  They are beautiful stories of God's grace and mercy, and of His healing power.  When I come to my own life, I can only praise Him!  

I had a wonderful family that believed in Christ.  There is not one out of the family there ever doubted.  My father fought alcoholism but never failed to doubt God and His power. In his last 15 years he never took another drink.   He died after 36 cancer surgeries, and was listening to the reading of Bible for the "hupteenth" (that means a bunch) time.  There were three girls and three boys in the family who married Christian girls and have raised families who are all believers.  Certainly the families all had their challenges in raising their children, but none left their faith behind.  They all attend worship and several of them have done missions in other countries. Out of my parents children and grandchildren six are involved in preaching, eight or teaching the Bible in their churches, and all of them are powerful witnesses for Christ.  

In my early years I had my ups and downs as any young man might, but Christ was always with me, leading me, and keeping me safe.  I married a wonderful woman whom I met in a Christian school.  She has been my lover and wife for 50 years.  She has followed me all over the world in ministry.  She has written Bible curriculums tailored for the churches where we ministered, and trained young women to be teachers of the Word of God.  She has lived on radical budgets and never complained, and made every home a castle.  Because of her health she cannot go with me as she once did, but encourages me to make those trips anyway.  

My conversion to Christ is simple. I believed in God and Christ, but had never been crucified with Christ. I studied the Word of God to see what He was telling me about salvation from sin.  I listen to His word and obeyed what He told me to do.  At that point I died and He came into my life.  I have tried to follow the Spirit and live Christ as much as possible.  But my salvation is not based on my righteousness, but His.  It is not based on what He did for me when my foot was cut off in a boating accident and was restored by surgery, or keeping me safe during my military years, or during some very dangerous situations in foreign countries, or restoring my health after bypass surgery, or keeping me safe in a couple of car accidents, or the healing of my cancers, or keeping my wife and daughter safe when in a plane wreck, or directing me in a thousand decisions that could have taken me away from Him.  I praise the Lord God for all those things, but I am saved because of what He did for me at the cross and resurrection.  Thank you Lord for saving my soul. Thank you Lord for making me whole. You are my God in whom I trust.   

 

[Heavyduty053]

Come on guys, if you don't have something to share about something you have been through, something you have had to face, something that you know only God or an angel helped pull you through then you are not thinking. Everyone has things that they should be praising God for. Every message that is put on here is a message that maybe someone else has faced or is facing that can give them courage to look up to God for his love and compassion.

[EagleEye]

At my Alma Mater USAFA near the Northern Gate is a B-52D model on static display...it can be seen clearly from I-25 the N-S highway that bypasses the Academy. In December of 1972 B-52 raids were carried out over Hanoi, NVM. On the third night I found myself in that specific aircraft with a SAM missile locked on and mere seconds from impact....the night before the aircraft in front of me in the same situation disintegrated before my eyes as the SAM impacted it... In my heart I told the Lord that I could not handle that one. The missile never broke lock...there was a loud crash on the underside of the aircraft and an explosion in the Command Pilot's window.....we had NO damage whatsoever to the aircraft....the experts say it was a PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY...and subsequently destroyed the tapes....GOD was NOT finished with me....if you continue up the North Gate road you will find the Chapel ...considered an architectural wonder....inside is a permanent display of the research conducted by STURP (Shroud of Turin Research Project) ...I was their spokesman and editor....to this day I believe it is the actual burial garment of Jesus of Nazareth and evidence of His

resurrection from the dead....

[crewdog]

I was going to write some of my testimonies but after reading through the others and thinking about how most people look at me and call me a false profit and such when i talk about my relationship with Jesus and all the things he is doing for me and for other people that i minister too i decided that most people are not ready to hear what i have to say.

 

I find that most people cant handle the truth. There is too many false teachings and such that i would just make a lot of people mad; but if you are interested in truth i would recommend visiting jglm.org rather than me writting a novel. I guess that could help a little.

[Rayzur]

I started writing what became this long ole story about how a Jewish kid came to hang out with the Rebbe and scholars at age 4 before being able to read, and thereafter from 1st grade on, studied with them in becoming a scholar... and how incredibly unusual that is for a girl. A story about this Jewish kid who was Blessed in being “born” with an insatiable passion to know everything that is G-d and a G-d that is as real in life as her parents and the physical life around her.

 

But the story got too long (so typical of Jewish focus on exacting detail), and seemed kind of boring. As it continued, around age 10 or 11, the Jewish kid came into possession of a New Testament, which was one day laying there in the bedroom. Probably what some would call a miracle, but to the kid, was simply just another message from G-d. The kid didn't know this thing called miracles didn't exist cause they happened all the time. Anyway, the kid read it cover to cover, and having just received these really fancy ball point pens in different colors, wrote out the complete life of Jesus, in different colors mind you, consistent with the cycles or time period of His life, and of course a specific color dedicated to the words He spoke (by now, the other story I was gonna tell has filled 3 pages).

 

But like I said, the story seemed boring. There was no cool moment, or dramatic incident, …. nothing all that inspirational about the story. The kid really hadn't done anything but said “yes” to a G-d that was very Real and abundant in His Grace and Blessing. The kid converted around age 11 or 12, the path was so clear, logically, emotionally, and spiritually. It was right there in 60 hand written pages in different colors.... a document created for no other reason than this insatiable passion to know.

 

The kid became the first USAF officer to put Messianic Jew on her dog tags. Kinda messed up the Air Force in terms of who to call in case of death. Okay, Jew means Rabbi, but what's up with this Messianic part. When she was in the hospital after being shot down, a priest, rabbi and pastor all came calling. It was quite confusing. Not sure they ever figured it out.

 

Now an adult, she recalls being pretty strong minded as an early teen. There were 3 siblings who followed, and while there were clearly competent and loving parents, she recalls as a kid/ this clarity it was up to her to convert her siblings as well. Knowing her, it may have been at gun-point if such necessary. There was a whole lot of conviction there. Hadn't quite learned the finesse that comes with growing up into an adult, nor were there a whole lot of role models as to this specific activity in a Jewish household. So who knew there were ways other than dragging ones siblings through conversion. Jesus at gun point was a viable option to a kid if such were necessary.

 

Anyway, she often wondered if the conversion really took hold. Granted all 3 siblings were members of the Christian faith, and attending church... but conversion absent any other given option, might not be all that lasting. Would it?

 

So the whole point of the story? The other day, the kid now an adult got the following email from a brother she absolutely loves and adores (actually she feels the same about all her brothers and sister). Anyway, she got this email from a brother concerned about his teenage daughter, and her apparent struggle/questioning whether or not God is real:

 

On Monday I talked with one of our pastors and he provided some pretty good advice – is there someone she trusts, looks up to etc. that could check on her – this is where I thought of you. I can’t even begin to tell you how influential you were in bringing me to Christ. I still have the New Testament you gave me 9/1/19xx and along with a great personal note from you that changed my life – would I have made it to Christ without this – I don’t know – but I can’t thank you enough to ensure that I did make it to Christ....

 

Moral of the story. I think. Do what G-d puts in front of you. You don't have to worry about anything else. Your job is to simply be present and say yes. G-d is truly all around you. And if you are convicted, then do what G-d puts in front of you to do. Even if you have no idea what you are doing. Even if it makes no sense, or you feel stupid, or unprepared, or unsure, or unequipped. Just do what G-d puts in front of you to do.... and G-d will fill in each and every step of your uncertainty along he way....

 

You don't necessarily have to have a great or inspirational or cool story (and of course its really super cool if you do... really it is... ), but G-d doesn't need that in order to do His work. He just needs you.... to be there..... to say yes..... He doesn't need your brain, or your words, or glitzy posters, or snazzy music, …. He doesn't even need someone's pain or failure or misery in order to touch a soul. And of course, if given the opportunity, G-d in His Love will answer those calls... and some perhaps need that place in order to call out...... But to be sure, there is within us all a hunger to know G-d. And some just forget that. And maybe your job is nothing more than to remind them..... to live a life of Christ in our frail attempt to reflect the unconditional love of Christ …. in illuminating the path to G-d and showing His people the way Home.

 

By the Grace of G-d I know I am Blessed in so many ways each and every day... I know that I know that I know that. And thank G-d for His Grace and Blessing that no where in any molecule of my being, is there a question about that. Our G-d is an awesome G-d....

[Muleslayer]

Agreed Rayzur .

Thank you.

god spoke to me in your words.

Bless your strong mind!

[DumNDumer]

Thanks to all for sharing your testimonies, excellent faith builders.

 I personally have had several healings and seen them in my family, grn/children and grt/grn/children.

I'm so thankful for our Jehovah Raphe our healer and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God.

Blessings to all

Luci    

[Heavyduty053]

WOW these are great messages of faith in our lord and creator....thanks everyone and keep them coming