moose 57 Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 Your're Bullshittin' Me A young mexican man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshiting' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well... You started it." 15 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostenso Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 I love how the guy just happens to be Mexican. Keep those attitudes up! Republicans will never win the Latino vote! 5 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chara55 Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 Sometimes the shoe just happens to fit......... Just saying 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moose 57 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 I love how the guy just happens to be Mexican. Keep those attitudes up! Republicans will never win the Latino vote! It was a black man. so I put a bunch of "ethnic groups" on strips of paper. this just happened to be the one that I drew. I forgot to write down Latinos. Maybe they would have been picked! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostenso Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 I'm pretty sure that there are more white people on welfare than any other ethnicity. Fun fact. 3 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krome2ez Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 I love how the guy just happens to be Mexican. Keep those attitudes up! Republicans will never win the Latino vote! Redneck Jokes You might be a redneck if… Your sophisticated famous cousin is a rodeo clown. Your three-year-old child is a member of the NRA. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event. You have more cars on your front lawn than in your driveway. You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey. You’ve ever used your fishing license as a form of identification. You cut your toenails in front of company. You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve… You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You’ve ever made change in the offering plate at church. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. Your Christmas tree is still up in February. When a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray. You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertible top. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high quality entertainment. You gene pool doesn’t have a “deep end.” You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors. There.... does that make you feel better about your self? It seems that it's acceptable for everyone to make ethnic jokes except white people. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rcrge Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 (edited) and if the shoe fits might just as well wear it to the welfare office Edited November 17, 2012 by rcrge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonjon Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokeNoMore Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 As a person who is really sick of the race card BS all the TIME...I'm wondering if the joke would have been less funny without the guy being a "mexican." How about if the joke just started out "a guy" instead of "a mexican guy" Just sayin' Redneck Jokes You might be a redneck if… You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high quality entertainment. OMG I'm in trouble now. Clearly I'm a redneck. I have an electronic fly swatter that looks like a tennis racquet that I use to kill mosquitoes and think the sound of them frying and they way they spark when I hit them is just delightful. And the six pack of Mike's never made me sad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 DV should open a "NPC" thread... "Not Politically Correct" thread for all those folks who want to say it like it really is and not pamper everyone's sensitive ego's. We get blasted all the time with white jokes, black people laugh at themselves all the time, and George Lopez can tell a white president to "F" off... but a white person can't tell a joke that has exactly the right shoe size that happens to fit if you know what I mean. Come on folks... lighten up. Oh... and by the way, I half Norwegian... but I'm taking pills for it!! Krome... I resemble some of dem thar red neck remarks.... it's gonna cost ya a beer and an extra fly swatter for that!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rico1 Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 Redneck Jokes You might be a redneck if… Your sophisticated famous cousin is a rodeo clown. Your three-year-old child is a member of the NRA. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event. You have more cars on your front lawn than in your driveway. You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey. You’ve ever used your fishing license as a form of identification. You cut your toenails in front of company. You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve… You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You’ve ever made change in the offering plate at church. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. Your Christmas tree is still up in February. When a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray. You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertible top. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high quality entertainment. You gene pool doesn’t have a “deep end.” You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors. You for got my favorite and when I first met my wife I had. You might be a redneck if. Your wallet is on a chain and your dog isn't. Or another favorite. You might be a redneck if. Your patio furniture used to be you living room furniture. The sad truth is I can relate to a few of these and proud to be a redneck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dog53 Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 I love how the guy just happens to be Mexican. Keep those attitudes up! Republicans will never win the Latino vote! Hey its a JOKE man. You Know. Why are you running from post to post starting crap where ever you go ? Chronic whinning syndrom or what dude It was a black man. so I put a bunch of "ethnic groups" on strips of paper. this just happened to be the one that I drew. I forgot to write down Latinos. Maybe they would have been picked! You don't have to explain yourself to this idiot Moose. The joke was funny. It was just a joke. He needs to get over his self righteous bullcrap 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krome2ez Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 DV should open a "NPC" thread... "Not Politically Correct" thread for all those folks who want to say it like it really is and not pamper everyone's sensitive ego's. We get blasted all the time with white jokes, black people laugh at themselves all the time, and George Lopez can tell a white president to "F" off... but a white person can't tell a joke that has exactly the right shoe size that happens to fit if you know what I mean. Come on folks... lighten up. Oh... and by the way, I half Norwegian... but I'm taking pills for it!! Krome... I resemble some of dem thar red neck remarks.... it's gonna cost ya a beer and an extra fly swatter for that!!! From one redneck Norwegian, to another, I'd be proud to share a beer with you. But keep ur hands off my woman. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiaKaha Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 Two strikes against me, being blonde AND Polish, but geez, a joke's a joke! Lighten up! KK MADD for Heather 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 From one redneck Norwegian, to another, I'd be proud to share a beer with you. But keep ur hands off my woman. I'll behave myself Krome!!! Does any of your family do any of the old countries recipe's? My wife was taught to make Krub... she doesn't yet understand how after 33 years of marriage I could still want something as simple and plain as that!!! My only response is that it somehow connects me to my past, and lots of fond memories around the kitchen table!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chara55 Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 In West Virginia it is not uncommon to hear the saying, Get off me Daddy YOUR CRUSHIN MY CIGARETTES.......... You see this can go either way, so I would'nt be too concerened about a mexican reference'd joke. Just like every Legend ,there is a little truth behind it. God Bless Every American and their families AND Goooooooooooooooo Rvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattyangel Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 You have to look at a joke as just a joke, to be humorous. It's nice to fill and be in a room with laughter. Don't be so serious, we have to be able to laugh with each other. And right now we all could use a good laugh. If not then we would be in a heap of trouble. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted November 17, 2012 Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 You have to look at a joke as just a joke, to be humorous. It's nice to fill and be in a room with laughter. Don't be so serious, we have to be able to laugh with each other. And right now we all could use a good laugh. If not then we would be in a heap of trouble. Ain't that the truth pattyangel!!! Speaking of that... why did the chicken cross the road??? ... because it had one big furball on it's tail!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moose 57 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2012 Ya, I had 2nd thoughts about posting it. I figured we were all adults (maybe not grown-ups )& could handle it. Most of us are!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jg1 Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Redneck Jokes You might be a redneck if… Your sophisticated famous cousin is a rodeo clown. Your three-year-old child is a member of the NRA. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event. You have more cars on your front lawn than in your driveway. You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey. You’ve ever used your fishing license as a form of identification. You cut your toenails in front of company. You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve… You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear. You think the stock market has a fence around it. You’ve ever made change in the offering plate at church. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. Your Christmas tree is still up in February. When a sign that says “Say No To Crack!” reminds you to pull up your jeans. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray. You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertible top. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high quality entertainment. You gene pool doesn’t have a “deep end.” You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors. There.... does that make you feel better about your self? It seems that it's acceptable for everyone to make ethnic jokes except white people. You know, Me being a white(pink actually) man would be offended and I would take this as racist material If I was racist myself, but I am not and Nor am I offended or feel that way. I take it as a funny joke. Now if I was racist, I would call the NAACP, they were the ones that prevented the black man from going to jail after he killed my youngest uncle point blank range. The witnesses were afraid to testify, and the NAACP got him off with temporary insanity. Funny thing is I dont hold it against people of color, I hold it against our justice system. I cant find the news artical right now. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdinarut Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the snooty maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rico1 Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the snooty maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai." Now dat's funny I don't care what you say. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muleslayer Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Very good one attempted thread hijack prevented. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokeNoMore Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jobug38 Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 In West Virginia it is not uncommon to hear the saying, Get off me Daddy YOUR CRUSHIN MY CIGARETTES.......... You see this can go either way, so I would'nt be too concerened about a mexican reference'd joke. Just like every Legend ,there is a little truth behind it. God Bless Every American and their families AND Goooooooooooooooo Rvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv My boyfriend says the same thing about the people from Arkansas!! LMAO!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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