moose 57 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 O x y m o r o n s 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, How would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" Mean the same thing? 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" When we are already there? 10. Why are they called " stands" When they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" When it really is "after light"? 12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" Make the unexpected expected? 13.. Why are a "wise man" and A "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" Mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" Not spelled The way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, Why do they have to pay you to do it? 17.. If all the world is a stage, Where is the audience sitting? 18.. If love is blind, Why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed And have dyslexia, Can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular And panties plural? 21.. Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control When you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags And garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated Is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25.. Why doesn't glue Stick to the inside of the bottle? 26. Why do they call it a TV set When you only have one? 27. Christmas - What other time of the year Do you sit in front of a dead tree And eat candy out of your socks? 28. Why do we drive on a parkway And park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Don't overthink it too much there moose... it can drive ya crazy!!! Thanks for the deep introspection... now I've gotta go get a third cup of coffee!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MITCH10 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 why do they call them eyeballs when they start with an e??? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctor robbins Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Why is it called a building if it's already built? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shabibilicious Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 As Carlin would say: Why do we get on a plane, rather than in it? Why do they call it a nonstop flight? I want my flight to stop. GO RV, then BV 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastcreek Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 O x y m o r o n s 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, How would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" Mean the same thing? 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" When we are already there? 10. Why are they called " stands" When they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" When it really is "after light"? 12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" Make the unexpected expected? 13.. Why are a "wise man" and A "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" Mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" Not spelled The way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, Why do they have to pay you to do it? 17.. If all the world is a stage, Where is the audience sitting? 18.. If love is blind, Why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed And have dyslexia, Can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular And panties plural? 21.. Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control When you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags And garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated Is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25.. Why doesn't glue Stick to the inside of the bottle? 26. Why do they call it a TV set When you only have one? 27. Christmas - What other time of the year Do you sit in front of a dead tree And eat candy out of your socks? 28. Why do we drive on a parkway And park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we? Ah yes, some of the profound questions of life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pastorbigal Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Why do they call it Microsoft Works, when it really doesn't? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nstoolman1 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Jumbo shrimp Military intelligence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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