Suicide- What are your thoughts?

[BrokeNoMore]

After I finished my response, I read back a little, and want to add: I think that regarding your children...it's important to tell them that she gave up on God, unless you have something better to say such as she was mentally ill. There is a terrible epidemic of suicide among Christian young people today, and I would not take a chance on putting the idea that they dare give up. They can learn thru this experience the real reason we are here on this earth, and that it is a battle we're to fight and win. To leave it like an assurance that she is with God and that it's sad without some of the other truth does just what you fear: lets them believe that it's a way out. This is just my opinion...and I know that lots of people would disagree.

When someone close to us was murdered by someone else we knew, we told our 4 year old.."xxx hurt her very badly....she was hurt too much and her body couldn't live." I had to think about it for a whole day to figure out what to say. Ask God for the right words. They will come to you. God's words will be so much better than mine.

[susanc1058]

First let me start by saying I am so very sorry for your loss. I too have believed all my life that suicide was unforgiveable, That is what I was raised in church to believe. Then in 2010 my 16 year old committed suicide and I have the answer to question for two years. I have those who say we never know if he was able to ask for forgiveness there is the belief that it is unforgiven. There is the hope that God allowed him in he was saved so I can only hope. If I did not hang onto that hope I just don't think I could go on. But I struggle each day with the thought he may not be there when I get there. You just need to find something to hang onto and believe what you want to believe in the end we will all know the truth but until we have to just pray each day that God will ease the pain and give us assurance. I will keep you in my prayers. I know how difficult their decision is to accept. I also understand all the question you have and will have. And all the answer you will not get. Put your trust in God not those of us who want to help you with what we think, or have been taught for we do not know either.

[bamagirl]

@Nelg, her name was Michelle and she had the most beautiful smile......@Susan, your continual healing will be in my prayers also, I hope some of these responses has affected you as much as they have me.... I am gonna ask my husband to read his thread later when I think he can handle it better, I find so much comfort in you all..

[GARY2]

Hello Bamagirl, I'm sorry to hear about your sister in law. Rest assured your sister in law will be fine. She may sleep for awhile until she figures out she isn't really dead, depending on what her beliefs are. She made a terrible error in judgement and I'm sure if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't make the same decision. I know that everybody is quoting their beliefs based on what they have read in the Bible. However, they can only tell you what they believe. I am not being critical here, I am simply pointing out that the reason we have so many Christian religions is because their are so many interpretations on the Bible. My Dad was Church of Christ & Mother was Baptist and both of them could point out how wrong the other's interpretation was. There is a vast difference in belief and knowing. Knowing comes from actual experience. I know that she is still alive because I have been out of my body and taken up into the light. I know that I/we can exist without a physical body. I'm not bragging here, no need to, we will probably never meet. The only reason I bring this up is to assure you that I know what I am talking about here. Would you send your sister in law to hell for this? I don't think so. Do you think that your love is greater than God's? Your sister in law will have to come back to the physical plane again and have to go thru these same lessons again until she gets it right. Meanwhile she is enveloped with the love of God and will be so until she is healed enough to start thinking about trying this ole earth thing again. I sincerely hope I haven't offended anyone especially you Bamagirl. I have grown fond of you thru your blogs. I truly hope this helps. Gary2

[buildfromhome]

Bamagirl,

The following is a Biblical response to your question. you can also find this in print at gty.org

Can one who commits suicide be saved?

Exodus 20:13; Acts 24:15; Romans 5:2-5; 2 Corinthians 1:10

Suicide is a grave sin equivalent to murder (Exodus 20:13; 21:23), but it can be forgiven like any other sin. And Scripture says clearly that those redeemed by God have been forgiven for all their sins--past, present, and future (Colossians 2:13-14). Paul says in Romans 8:38-39 that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

So if a true Christian would commit suicide in a time of extreme weakness, he or she would be received into heaven (Jude 24). But we question the faith of those who take their lives or even consider it seriously--it may well be that they have never been truly saved.

That's because God's children are defined repeatedly in Scripture as those who have hope (Acts 24:15; Romans 5:2-5, 8:24; 2 Corinthians 1:10, etc.) and purpose in life (Luke 9:23-25; Romans 8:28; Colossians 1:29). And those who think of committing suicide do so because they have neither hope nor purpose in their lives.

Furthermore, one who repeatedly considers suicide is practicing sin in his heart (Proverbs 23:7), and 1 John 3:9 says that "no one who is born of God practices sin." And finally, suicide is often the ultimate evidence of a heart that rejects the lordship of Jesus Christ, because it is an act where the sinner is taking his life into his own hands completely rather than submitting to God's will for it. Surely many of those who have taken their lives will hear those horrifying words from the Lord Jesus at the judgment--"I never knew you; Depart from me, you who practice lawlessness" (Matthew 7:23).

So though it may be possible for a true believer to commit suicide, we believe that is an unusual occurrence. Someone considering suicide should be challenged above all to examine himself to see whether he is in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5).

[unionbobw]

I am praying for her soul and for your family. My own heart aches to think about what you and your family must be going through. May God bless you with peace and comfort.

[cgbrown]

Wow Bama Very sorry for your loss. And for once I'm just at a loss for words. Every religion except Islam (suicide bombers)

Forbids taking your own life. Even My people (Native American) Strictly forbids it. Your time is decided by god. But with that being said our god is a forgiving god. If enough people pray or if that one special person prays. Maybe he will forgive. Who really knows the will of god. She can perhaps be forgiven. Very sorry

I would like to respectively respond to your comments. Yes, God is LOVING... He is filled with so much love that He sent his One and Only Son to become man in order to die in our place. That tells me how much he loves and how awful sin is that it would require the death of God's Only begotton Son. Our eternal destiny is made by the choice we make in this life (either to believe and follow or to reject and plot our own path). No amount of praying after death by friends and relatives no matter how well intended, can change the course of one's chosen eternal destiny. You can have a thousand people to pray but it wouldl make no difference.

Now to answer the lady's cry for help about her sister in law. Yes, mental state is a factor. And no one but God can understand the true mental state of a human being. Though her life may have been taken by her own means, only God can judge whether or not the taking of one's life was a result of total rejection of God, or under the pressure she was under.

I would take solace in the fact that God is fair, loving, just, and understanding about all our circumstances. The God of the Universe will do what is right.

[pluMmet]

they are inaccurate

You are right that I am frustrated at seeing this poor girl upset by the nonsense that has been driven into her head...

"Inaccurate"...

How do you show something is a cube? It's length, width and height are all the same.

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)

And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.

I was fine being left alone on my comment but I can prove every part of what I said...

This girl has no reason to be upset, we are all sorry for her loss. It's a shame that she even needs to question this.

[delta22]

Bama girl I grieve with you for your loss and will keep your extended family in my prayers. I too was raised with the belief that suicde is fatal to the soul. Let me share with you one thought from the bible that has kept me going and given me hope despite all that I have done. The bible states that at your dying moment if you truely repent and ask forgiveness all will be forgiven,no matter what , this keeps me some what on the path.Let us pray that in her final moment she had the time and clarity to repent and ask forgiveness,if so you should be reunited in heaven when your time comes. Hope this gives you some comfort.

[bsp]

I am so sorry for you loss. I also have had a family member that has commited suiside and so have spent much time searching this out. Here is what I believe.

#1 Salvation is found in Jesus Christ. He is the Way the Truth and the Light. No one comes to the Father but thru Him John 14:6

Anyone who confesses me before men I will acknowledge him before My Father who is in heaven. Matt 10:32

Jesus paid the price for our sin. Price was death and if we accept that Jesus paid that price for us, we are saved.

I believe that we can turn away from Christ and tell him that we no longer accept his sacrifice for us, but I also believe that we can do things that are sin at the moment before we die and I believe that God has grace on us. For example: if a man is looking on a beautiful woman (lust) and is hit by a bus. Is he not saved because it says that sin is equil....we can not say his sin is worse than my sin. Sin is sin.

To the unforgivable sin of suiside. I believe that this is a problem with mental health. I believe that the Chuch has stepped in with rules and regulations to keep us in line. Dont get me wrong I love Jesus, he is my best friend, and I love my time with him. but Church has turned into something different than we find in the first centuy church.....anyway back to the question...I believe grace is there for your sister in law if she had confessed Jesus as her Lord and Savior and accepted that Jesus died for her sins.

[brbrlocke]

I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that your family is going through now. I will be praying that you and your family will find peace with what has happened. May God Bless you and give you strength.

[umbertino]

Suicide is a cowardly act with no regard to the the family members and friends that are left to suffer after one's death. Sad topic.

Sorry my Friend but I deem yours too fast a judgment... One should walk in somebody else's shoes before saying anything .. If you can't feel the pain of the one who decided to take their life, you can't know nor judge... We can't know what hell they're going through in their lives ( no matter how real or imaginary) when they come to take that last decision...I give them at least the respect to consider that nobody does it lightly. Most likely it is a very tearing up , cutting, choice one takes when in their mind there's no more light or glimpse of hope... And so who are we to judge all that?

Let's hope we won't ever get to that point in our lives.

[colt32]

Extremely sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how it must be for you. Comfort yourself with Jesus's words. When the harlot was caught red-handed did Jesus judge her. No. He forgave. Their are many examples of this in the bible. The one I hang on to the most when asked something like this is this. There is only 1 unforgiveable sin. It is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Basically, it is not believing in God and accepting His free gift. If you had to do one thing to add to our salvation and what Jesus did for us then none of us would make it to heaven. For His gift would not be complete. You would need to do something. The gift of salvation is a free gift to all who will accept it and believe. To reject it is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. God cannot forgive that because Jesus is the only way to God. If you reject Him you reject God and there is no hope. Still..... It's not all black and white. Read. Matthew 25. The great white throne judgment. So many people did not know that they were saved but they were. They said what did we do to recieve this? Well... It's simple. Whatever you do to the least of Jesus's brethren you are doing it to Him and therefore you believe in the Gospel and what Christ did and He resides in your heart. Once He is there He will never leave you or forsake you. I pray comfort for you in this incredibly hard time.

God Speed

[bamagirl]

Thank you all so ver much for your perspectives.... My other sister in law Christy is having a very hard time, she is not a church goer but he has accepted Jesus and has faith in Him... I am gonna send her here to read this because I think she could find some comfort from ya'll, she is familiar with DV though she is not a member so I am hoping this will help her some since she won't seek a preacher out to speak with....... Once again much love and thanks to you all..

[grand pubah]

Dear Bama, so sorry to hear about your loved one. It is a painful thing indeed especially to lose one in this manner. Her emotional pain and torment must have been very severe.

I have heard many opinions on this subject over the years but always must always come back to what God's Word says:

1Co 3:16-17 NAS77 Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells inyou? (17) If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.

Unfortunately the sin of destroying the temple that God gave us to glorify Him with is a sin of epic proportions. He gave us the gift of life and expects that life to be lived out in gratefulness for what He gave.

I do not recommend trying to soften the blow with your own children of the gravity of such a decision to take one’s own life.

I doremember as a teen going through some very depressing and disheartening times. I was shy, insecure, and had a very abusive and unhappy home life.

It is not uncommon for teens to feel rejected, insecure, and like they don’t fit and to entertain thoughts of suicide at different times for a variety of reasons. Even for those from loving homes can feel the sting of rejection from their peers.

For people who in those moments of vulnerability often see suicide as viable way out ofthe immediate pain and it can seem quite reasonable to take one’s own life. They can even glamorize the idea. I say this for the sake of being frank with your own children on the subject.

It can appear quite attractive to end the pain of the moment. However if that same person is fully aware that the consequences of such action would immediately transport them into a much worse place of eternal torment from which there is no relief, then the thought is not quite so attractive and then not seriously considered for long.

As far as praying for your dead family member at this point would yield no avail. Once you have passed the veil of eternity there is no return.

1Jn 5:16 KJV If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it.

Heb 9:27 NAS77 “And in as much as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment”

Of course this is seldom something I share with family members who are suffering the pain of such an event unless they ask. It certainly does not bring comfort at such a time.

Our heart goes out to you and your family.

God bless

GP

[grand pubah]

Just read over some of the other posts by the good members of this forum that I didn't have time to read before my previous post. I think what we see here is a diverse pot of thoughts, beliefs and ideals. Most overwhelmingly well meaning.

Please know that our hearts go out to you and your family in this time Bamagirl.

Ultimately we must live our lives in light of eternity. Only what is done for Christ will last. Pour yourselves into the lives of those around you. Be there for your family, friends, and people God places in your path. Thank God for his grace, patience, and mercy we all need daily.

We must all work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. Do so in complete reverence for His Lordship in your life and the right He has for our dedication to Him.

2Co 5:14-15 NAS77 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; (15) and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

Many blessings to all

GP

[precious1]

This scripture was quoted by grand pubah~

1Co 3:16-17 NAS77 Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells inyou? (17) If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.

I am at work and just peeking in to see about Bama or I would take the time to read the whole chapter to see what the whole context of the verse is discussing. You see, just reading the verse it could mean God would smite down anyone that would destroy US since we are the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Then again, if you took this verse to mean if we destroy the temple of God, being our physical body...would that now also mean anyone that was a smoker and died of cancer? Anyone that over ate and became diabetic and dies? How about the veteran that goes to battle and is killed, therefore forfeiting his own life? Oh, that's a bad example because John 15:13 states" Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

We do all have our beliefs, and I imagine all of our beliefs as Christians come from the same Bible. My God has told me I am perfect in His eyes, though my salvation. He will never forsake me. Never means...not for any reason will He depart from me. That is my belief, and I'm sticking to it

[Shinnidan]

hmmm... me don't know....

Mel can you help me out with this one, please?

[smee2]

Oh my ... I am so sorry. Whether it is suicide or a more "natural" death, it is always the ones left behind who have to face the questions and reprisals and "what could I have done to make a difference" kind of thing.

One thing for sure ... you are looking for an answer you will never find. You will find opinions, and from that you will have to find your own way to find peace with this. If God meant for suicides to be cast into the fires of hell because they took their own lives, He certainly didn't mean for the loved ones left behind to suffer also. I cannot believe Him to be a vindictive God.

And because of that, and because I believe, to the extent that my belief system includes, perhaps hinges on, God, I believe that God is an all forgiving God. He will forgive all that is asked of him, and some that is not. We refer to Him as Father for a very good reason. He raises His children up to strive for a perfection they will never achieve, God being the only perfection. And when we fail in that struggle for perfection, I believe He gives us the prize, the life everlasting, for which we are striving. A Father would do that for us. A Father would give us perhaps an unreachable goal hoping we would reach as far as we can. But even falling short He would not see us suffer if we have made the best reach we can.

That all presuposes that a person does reach as far as they can, does give it all they can give.

I truly believe that people who commit suicide fall into categories. There are those who are in so much physical pain they cannot believe they were meant to suffer so. When they see a way to the next step, life beyond the pain, they will often take it.

There are those who are in so much pain emotionally that they will do what they must to relieve that pain. They too may look for a way to go to the next level, a life beond pain.

Then there are those who will sacrifice themselves for someone else ... the mother who steps in front of a bus to shove her child out of the way, the soldier who carries a wounded compatriot out of harms way not knowing he is fatally wounded himself. The aged native who believes it is better for her tribe to go into the woods and starve to death than make them feed her and perhaps cause the family, or tribe, to fail to survive. Any variation on these theme is, to my way of thinking, the act of a sacrificial suicide.

I suppose what it comes down to, whether it is acceptable or not, is the "why". I find the sacrifice acceptable. Those who make the sacrifice would not be able to live comfortably with themselves without taking that step that would save someone else. Those in pain, physical or emotional, even without any medication to alter their perceptions, feel they have reason. If they are not trying to "get away" with something, if they truly believe this is the only way for them, how could God blame them? I realize many people think we should have sufficient faith in God that we depend on Him to do whatever must be done to relieve us of the constant pain.

I believe that each person thinking of suicide will think of the most extreme reasons for staying, and what might make life livable. And each will think of the fact that God has tode us it is a sin. And since your sister-in-law was "saved" that will be one of the most profound thoughts she would have had. She believed in live after this, and would think hard about jeopardizing that possibility of being with those she loved. She would have believed that life after is not marred by the pain and anxiety and uncertainty of life now. She certainly would have thought about the things you are thinking about now.

It could have been in the last moment of life, in the very second that her soul separated from her body, that she turned her face to God. He has told us it is never too late. So even if she though of Him at that last moment, she would have been saved again, in His presence, not just on this earth.

God is the parent who wants us to return to him, when we are finished with life here, and would, I am sure, forgive us and pile love upon us and keep us by his side. I think that is where your sister-in-law is now.

When my Grandfather died I cried and ranted and was bereft, and felt that God was terrible and unfair, because He made Grandpa suffer for so long and then made him die anyway. My parents explained to me that because Grandpa had suffered so much on earth, he had put in the time he may have been required to spend in pergatory before advancing to heaven. So, suffering here, meant Grandpa would have gone straight to heaven. At the time I believed it because I wanted to, and needed to. Now I believe it because i think it was most likely true. I now see God in his lenient and forgiving form. We all need to be forgiven. We have been told that God will forgive us; all we must do is ask. I guess I still have enough of the old doctrin floating about to feel that those who commit suicide may have to spend some time in pergatory, but I do not believe they are condemned to hell.

I think your sister-in-law believed in God. She may not have been able to see, at this point in her life, how he could make things bearable. And because something was, for her, unbearable, she made a choice, a very difficult choice. Having stood on the precipice twice in my life I defy anyone to call suicide the "easy" way out. It is not. It is very, very hard.

I think you need not worry about her now. At some point you may know what it was that drove her to do what she did. But no matter how you try, you will most likely never know the fear, the pain, the turmoil that she went through to get to the place she was at when she had to make that decision. Pray for her, and for her close family, and know that God is not a hateful or spiteful God. He loves us even though we are imperfect.

.

smee2

My prayers will be for her, and for you and your family

[skitealwedrop]

Great post Smee. Your writings are inspirational and interesting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the forum. I respect you and your opinion.

Be well. You need a book deal.

[Cosmicndn]

Sorry for your loss Bamagirl.

One thing to keep in perspective is what the Bible calls "unforgivable". There is only one thing the Bible calls an unforgivable sin and that is the "Blasphemy of the Holy Spiri". Look it up, it is in the New Testement. No where will you find suicide as sending anyone to Hell. When Saul is confronted with being taken prisoner, he has a servant hold a sword so he can fall on it. Your friend had a chemical imbalance that caused much mental grief and she did something that most would find unable to do. So, in truth, I would believe that a "Loving God" would not hold them responcible for something in His own Holy Word, he does not give any say that it is a sin or that they would go to Hell for. If you truly believe in a Loving God then I can imagine the moment she took her last breath she found herself in His presence and then in His arms to give her comfort and as the Bible says, He wiped away her tears.

[bamagirl]

Thanks to you all again... You're prayers all brought me the comfort and strength I needed to be strong and a comfort to my family. We buried Michelle's ashes yeterday, it was a beautiful service that honored her life so well. Just wanted to let you all know my family is doing well and to thank you one more time.... Renee

[umbertino]

Thanks to you all again... You're prayers all brought me the comfort and strength I needed to be strong and a comfort to my family. We buried Michelle's ashes yeterday, it was a beautiful service that honored her life so well. Just wanted to let you all know my family is doing well and to thank you one more time.... Renee

You know that we love you.

[429]

You know that we love you.

Ditto.

[cheerful1]

Thanks to you all again... You're prayers all brought me the comfort and strength I needed to be strong and a comfort to my family. We buried Michelle's ashes yeterday, it was a beautiful service that honored her life so well. Just wanted to let you all know my family is doing well and to thank you one more time.... Renee

You know that we love you.

Ditto.

Ditto, Bamagirl

BTW, I have relatives up in Mentone, just above Ft. Payne. Ever been up in that area? We love to visit them, up on top of the mountain, so peaceful.