Suicide- What are your thoughts?

[bamagirl]

My sister in law that I loved as much as my blood sister was found dead last Friday night from apparent suicide... I need Christian thoughts please, is this definetely gonna send her to hell as I have thought all my life or does her mental state factor in? She was manic depressive and on several meds for it... Please don't sugar coat for my feelings, I REALLY need straight up answers to what you believe,,, I need to understand. Please pray for my husbands family to come together from this instead of pulling further apart and pray for strength and understanding for us all especially her 2 children... Love to you DV.

[dog53]

Wow Bama Very sorry for your loss. And for once I'm just at a loss for words. Every religion except Islam (suicide bombers)

Forbids taking your own life. Even My people (Native American) Strictly forbids it. Your time is decided by god. But with that being said our god is a forgiving god. If enough people pray or if that one special person prays. Maybe he will forgive. Who really knows the will of god. She can perhaps be forgiven. Very sorry

[one2one]

sorry about your loss ;

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001554.htm

[genx4me]

I am so sorry and will keep you all in my prayers. I have had suicides in my extended family and have struggled with the same thoughts. I personally feel that the mental state must play into it. I may be wrong, but after years of questioning, and lots of prayer, that is where I am personally. My understanding is there is no where in scripture that says that will send someone to hell, however it is selfish and a sin, but if we are in Christ, our sins are forgiven. Sin is sin and only God know what was in her heart.

[sportfisher]

I am very sorry to hear about your sister in law. I really don't know the answer to your question, but have couple thoughts.

was she saved, born again?

The act of suicide is like the ultimate sin against your own body, actually murder of yourself, and in that act, there is no repentance.

We would all assume that for a saved, born again Christian, suicide is not an acceptable means of going to heaven quicker, and to even suggest that you still go to Heaven would not be responsible.

All we can do is trust in God as we continue to live our lives for Him, and someday we will find out about your sister in law. At this point there is nothing that can be done anyway.

[bamagirl]

sorry about your loss ;

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001554.htm

I was reading your link and it says risk factors for suicide in teens is a family member that has done it... This is another thing that scares me to death. What do I tell my children?? I have told them aunt Michelle is with God now.... are they gonna think its okay to handle a problem this way now... I just don't know what to say to anyone, how can I be a comfort if I don't even believe what I'm saying...

[Moto144]

So sorry for your loss, I know there are no words to help.

Suicide is forbidden by God and worthy of eternal condemnation, but..... if she was on meds, and not in total control of her thoughts and actions, there may be hope. We cannot be held accountable for things out of our control and there are very many dangerous, mind altering medications out there today. Pray for her soul daily, if she is in purgatory, she will need the prayers of her family and friends on earth to help lessen her sufferings and reduce her time there.

May God bless your families.

[bamagirl]

Sportfisher she was saved.

[sportfisher]

I was reading your link and it says risk factors for suicide in teens is a family member that has done it... This is another thing that scares me to death. What do I tell my children?? I have told them aunt Michelle is with God now.... are they gonna think its okay to handle a problem this way now... I just don't know what to say to anyone, how can I be a comfort if I don't even believe what I'm saying...

I would never tell anyone that someone that has committed suicide is in heaven. You just never know where that could go

Sportfisher she was saved.

Praise God, then we will see someday, but can't worry about that now or unintentionally entertain that path.

Edited May 14, 2012 by sportfisher

[okane]

Hey Bamagirl, my heart goes out to you and yours. A close friend of mine went thought the same thing just last week. Not to "sugar coat" but you mentioned that she may have been ill, mentally?

I looked this opinion up for some insight. "Suicide consists of the voluntary and intentional taking of one's own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind."

"Obviously persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord's; He knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and He in His infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course." Bruce R. McConkie.

I love you and may your Heavenly Father comfort and bless you and yours.

[azgoldengirl]

Oh...I'm so sorry. I can only respond based upon my personal beliefs. We all suffer..some at a deeper and more profound level than others. Having just lost a very dear friend in the same way, I was comforted by what the eclesiastical leader said at his funeral.

"Our Saviour suffered all for us. He understands all pain we may suffer. He loves us more than we can even imagine and He knows the heart of each one of us. We are not to judge...as that is His job. Name....was not in his right mind or he never would have taken his own life. Sometimes a person suffers more pain than they are able to handle. It was clearly a desperate and reactionary act and no doubt, the Lord was right there to take him in his arms to comfort him."

Take from this what you will. Many of us received great comfort from this and many other things this man said. Personallly.....? The Christ I have come to know, full of grace and generous with His tender mercies, will make the right decisions for all of us. He is love.

[DaveH]

So sorry to hear that. Life is precious, regardless of your beliefs.

It is my feeling that people that kill themselves, are selfish deep down. They dont consider the effect of their actions on those close to them. That is selfish.

That being said, my belief as a Christian is that suicide is murder, of one's self, and is a broken commandment, with no chance to ask for forgiveness for your sin. Murder is the worst of all sins. No reparations can be made, it cant be fixed or reversed.

Bamagirl, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know what i just said cant possibly make you feel better. My prayers are with your family and you.

Loss of life is so sad.

Dave

[pattyangel]

Bamagirl, my heart is heavy for you. Just know that our God is a forgiving and merciful God. Only God knew her state of mind. She was not 100% well. All we Christian's can do is pray for her soul to be released to God's Love. All things are possible in His eyes. So believe your sister in law will be forgiven and be in heaven one day.

My prayers will be extended for you and your husband's family. So, so sorry Bama, you were there for me, let me know if you need me in return.

May God send tons of angels to help you and your family to carry this sorrow. And may her soul rest in peace.

[precious1]

Dear Bama,

I lift you and your families up in prayer. My heart is saddened with what you are currently faced with. Here are my thoughts. From my understanding and perspective of our wonderful God's love ;I have come to this thought. By accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are forgiven our sins. Jesus died on the cross ONCE, for all our sins..past, present and future.

When we error and sin, we are told to repent our sins, meaning asking for forgiveness and changing our ways. At the moment of salvation we are washed in the blood of the lamb, making us rightous to the Father. From my understanding, the Father now sees as as He would Jesus. Rightous. Not as we see ourselves as miserable sinners.

When we think of all the people who have 'taken a life' and repented, we know they are now seen as rightous in His sight. Not the sin they committed. I believe even at the moment of desperation, at the moment of a suicide, that the part of us that always knows God calls out to Him. Put your faith in God and His immeasurable love for His children. I pray for your rest in the Lord as He brings comfort to you and your families healing as you go through this trying time.

May God Bless and keep you,

Cheryl

[GODyesRVmaybe]

Bamagirl, I am very sorry for your loss. This is a wakeup call to everyone reading this forum. Unfortunately, in these economic times, suicide is not limited to people with mental disorders. Watch and listen to anyone you know and love that are under stress and pressure. Learn about warning signs and take them seriously.

As to your spiritual question, I can only direct you to two things:

First, Romans 8: 38-39 (from the NIV)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The other is an answer I read to someone else dealing with this issue. Taken from the RBC Ministries website. For what it's worth, I agree wholeheartedly with this:

"I have been involved in the issue of suicides of several different people, both from a possition of my official capacity and as a friend to the deceased or their family.

The people who are most directly harmed are always the loved ones of the person who has commited suicide.

One point is as clear as any I have known is that suicides are for the most part done by people who have a broken or damaged mind.

If a person who has accepted Christ has went on to commit suicide, it does not mean they have lost their salvation, not at all.

If a person who never accepted Christ commits suicide then they will face judgment, but not for their suicide, rather for their life of unrepented sin.

Looking at scripture of the people who died as an act of their own actions, there are none that God singled out as being condemend for the act of suicide.

Even Judas’ actions of condemnation came as a report of his failure to understand who Christ was not the act of hanging himself.

It is God who will judge us all in the end, not misled people who still cling to the law instead of grace.

If your loved one has commited suicide, your heart will remain broken and you will grieve for them, but do not add to your grief by believing they have commited an unforgivable act….there is no scriptual basis for that.

Believe in the grace that Jesus Christ died in order to present to a lost world and have peace in your being.

Steve"

You and your family will be in my prayers.

[bamagirl]

Thank you all, every response is appreciated.... @DaveH, I have always believed the same way you do and am hoping I'm wrong... I am so utterly sad for how she must have been feeling to come to the point she did but I am also so very angry that she did this to her children, husband and the rest of us..

[DaveH]

Thank you all, every response is appreciated.... @DaveH, I have always believed the same way you do and am hoping I'm wrong... I am so utterly sad for how she must have been feeling to come to the point she did but I am also so very angry that she did this to her children, husband and the rest of us..

I truly hope we are both wrong

[pluMmet]

Jesus Christ was a person... Christianity is a man made organization that uses his name. Pray to Jesus and be at peace just as your sister in law is.

I honestly laugh on an almost daily basis @ all the heretical versions and interpretations of scripture. I mean original scripture before the council of Nice that produced our modern Bible.

Did you know that in the Bible Heaven is a cube... a 12,000 furlong by 12,000 furlong by 12,000 furlong cube. Revelations clearly says that only 144,000 Jews are ever going to enter the cube. For the Gentiles (that make it) is the courtyard around the cube.

I'm not saying these things because I don't believe but because I do believe. It's the average "Christian" that has no idea what they are listening to in these preachers.

According to the Dead Sea Scrolls (the Bible before it was edited) Jesus said that in the last days preachers would be like dry wells.

Pray to Jesus, only he knows the burdens your sister in law had on her and only he makes the decision.... not dried up perversions of doctrine.

[Tiffani929]

Bama,

I'm so sorry for you and your families loss. I can tell you from personal experience, my maternal Grandmother (before I was born) who suffered from severe manic depression and my paternal Uncle (when I was four) who battled depression and substance abuse, both took their own lives. It is not an easy situation for anyone to go through and you have my prayers.

As far as what to tell your children, I'm sure you'll do what you believe is right. I was told both relatives were angels in heaven. Both sides were Catholic and though they too believed that taking ones life led someplace dark, that was still what they chose to tell me.

[skrappyone]

Sorry for your loss. I too, at one time, had contemplated suicide. I was in a troubled marriage that I had tried to make work for to long. I had even made it to the point to record my thoughts and last words to my kids. I did all this while holding my pistol in my hand. When I finished the video, I was sitting on the edge of the bed talking to God. I had not been saved at that time, but I'm Proud to say now I am and I am constantly trying to be a better person to myself as well as others. As I was talking to God and slowly moving the pistol up to my head, it felt like God had said to me " You are not so unstable that you will sontinue with this journey" and it felt like he grabbed my hand and put it down. I was so ready to end my life. Everything I had done in my life was to help people and my family. I always worked hard to try to make sure my kids always had a roof over their head, food on the table, clothes, and a family they could grow in to be upstanding in the community. I sacrificed myself trying to keep my marriage working, while knowing the whole time that my spouse was doing drugs and cheating on me. I was willing to sacrifice myself and my feelings so that my kids would not grow-up in a divorced environment. It didn't work and finally I had enough and filed for the divorce. As time went on and I reflected on what drove me to that point of wanting to commit suicide, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what made me get to that point. I have always been a strong individual that could deal with just about everything life threw at me. I used it as a challenge to see if I could build my life back. I finally did some research and found out that during this time I was taking Chantix to quit smoking. I researched it deeper and that is when all the info come out as to what the side effects were. I felt better because iot helped me realize where my thoughts had been coming from and why I had also been so hatefull to everyone around me. I haven't had a thought like that since I got off the Chantix. So in answer to your question, I don't think anyone can answer what was the exact reason for your loss or whether or not God will forgive her for what she has done to herself. I agree it is a sin, but like the other member stated, he is a forgiving God. If she truely had mental problems and she was to a state where she could not determine right from wrong, then I believe in my opinion that she will have a chance to be forgivin. I know my story is long, but I hope it gives you a better understanding of some of the many things that can cause a person to do this sort of act. I don't believe you can catagorize all the things into one catagory. Most people just think it is a cop out from life, but what they fail to realize is it could be them next. Nobody really knows. I know God knows the reason and we have to believe that he will forgive her. Huggs and prayers to you and your family and may God give you the knowledge and strength to understand and forgive.

[cheerful1]

If she knew the Lord, then I believe that she is with Him. He is merciful and His Grace is truly sufficient. I know that there will be some here that may disagree with me. That is fine.

While in Bible College and Seminary, there were actually debates on the salvation of Judas, and if God would for all eternity separate Himself from Judas. You would probably be surprised to find that there was an abundance of Scriptures in the original Greek that leaned toward Mercy and not forever-on the separation from God.

We have to ask ourselves some basic questions...

Do we think that her actions surprised God?

Did he know her future before He created her?

Did he know what action she would take before He saved her?

The bottom line is that there truly is a spirit of suicide. I know. It hit me fully head-on while sitting in church one Sunday. All I wanted to do is go home and get it done. I knew that it was wrong, that I was taking away any opportunity for God to use me to be a blessing to anyone, ever again.

That is extremely poor stewardship for one of the greatest possessions he has given us, LIFE.

Before I got saved, I was a hard case who would, upon hearing someone talk about how bad their life was, and how they wanted to just end it all, would tell them, if they were serious, we could go to my house, I would give them a pistol and lock the door to the bedroom and stand watch outside to make sure they had no interference.

When that spirit hit me in the church building, I had to repent of the callous way I had treated people who I thought were simply weak. "Weak" is not a word that anybody would associate with me, then or now.

I do also know that certain medications can alter the chemicals in the brain and cause a helpless and hopeless mindset.

That is all the enemy needs to do, steal your hope for a better time, a better day. He uses medications all the time to destroy people.

Above all things, I truly believe that He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. If we belong to Him, we belong to him. Nothing can take us out of his Hand...NOTHING.

I will pray for the family, that the enemy of their souls will not be able to use this as a wedge, to get between them and God, or between the family members. They cannot blame any one person. Their adversary that is responsible for this is not human. This is what he does. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

I will pray that God will intervene and take what the enemy has meant for evil and destruction, and turn it into something that He can use in each life to bring them close to Him so that He can make them the greatest blessing they can possibly be.

I will also pray that He will bless you with Godly wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, so that you may help others to lean heavily upon His Grace in times like these.

Bless you Bamagirl,

Lloyd (Cheerful1)

[Nadita]

Bamagirl,

I am sorry to hear about your sister in law. There is no words that can make things better as the reality is right in front of us. There is a mystery with God that we don't know until we get to heaven and ask Him personally. Deut 29:29 says the secret belongs to God but what He reveals to us, belong to us. You know she was saved when she was alive but yet now, she is in mystery as we are all. I won't sugarcoat the truth or even try to make you feel better...the answer to your question is I don't know. The Bible says He desires none to perish and it's His mystery. I pray God will shower you all with His peace and His grace that abounds more and more and that His mercy will be even poured more as He loves you all..I pray that through this experience, God will bring your family closer and will bring some repentance to some family members and they will be saved and come back to the Lord. When we are in the midst of the situation like what you are experiencing right now, sometimes we are blinded to what He is doing and what He has done...but trust Him. He will bring your family through this and good thing will come out of this situation.

Love ya and I am giving you a huge hug in the spirit

[Loco01]

I am so sorry and will keep you all in my prayers. I have had suicides in my extended family and have struggled with the same thoughts. I personally feel that the mental state must play into it. I may be wrong, but after years of questioning, and lots of prayer, that is where I am personally. My understanding is there is no where in scripture that says that will send someone to hell, however it is selfish and a sin, but if we are in Christ, our sins are forgiven. Sin is sin and only God know what was in her heart.

[aliciadogz]

She will always be loved by God,Suicide is a Brain Disease she had no control over it.It's not like the japaneae's did in WWll.

Sorry for your lost in your family,I'm hugging you and your family.

[Goldiegirl]

I was reading your link and it says risk factors for suicide in teens is a family member that has done it... This is another thing that scares me to death. What do I tell my children?? I have told them aunt Michelle is with God now.... are they gonna think its okay to handle a problem this way now... I just don't know what to say to anyone, how can I be a comfort if I don't even believe what I'm saying...

Bamagirl, I am so sorry for your loss. You tell your children exactly what you have told them. She is with God, regardless of what she has done. She will have to answer to Him for what's she's done, but she is still with God.