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moose 57

Rules of Rural Minnesota and Wisconsin‏

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THE RULES OF RURAL MINNESOTA AND WISCONSIN ARE AS FOLLOWS:

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to Minnesota farmers. Get over it. Don't like it? I-94 goes east and west, pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. Grain farmers have $350,000 combines that they drive only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Minnesota waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat potatoes, gravy, venison and pasties. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop...

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday in November.

10. We open doors for women. That applies to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three seasonings - salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah....We don't care what you city folks call that stuff you eat...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be homegrown, cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and she better have long hair..

15. College and high school football/basketball are as important here as the Lions and the Wolves .... and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Vo-Techs. Folks come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18.Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

19. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska. Worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowplows will have you out the next day.

20. By the way.... if you want to talk to God in Minnesota , it's a local call.

21 It's also a local call in Wisconsin (my add on)

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I have always thought that class is the ability to transcend social boundaries with ease. In other words, be just as comfortable in your blue jeans & boots as you are in a suit & tie, appreciate pot roast & potatoes as much as sushi, feel at home in a tent as much as a formal living room, you know. In other words it's all good! It's just too bad so many people think that their way is the only way.

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Great one Moose... btw... I was born in "Minnesoooota, and moved to Wiscoooonsin" so I can say yes and amen to that! wink.gif

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I have always thought that class is the ability to transcend social boundaries with ease. In other words, be just as comfortable in your blue jeans & boots as you are in a suit & tie, appreciate pot roast & potatoes as much as sushi, feel at home in a tent as much as a formal living room, you know. In other words it's all good! It's just too bad so many people think that their way is the only way.

It's a joke....

Great one Moose... btw... I was born in "Minnesoooota, and moved to Wiscoooonsin" so I can say yes and amen to that! wink.gif

Great accent !!! Faaaarrrrgo!

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I love it and so true...I've lived in Wis almost my whole life...infact I wasn't to far from where Adam is from...

I went to college in San Antonio, TX., and that's where I picked up this peculiar accent... "Ya'll"! rolleyes.gif

Actually it was a matter of survival... while working my way through college, I drove school bus... and the girls that got on the bus didn't like being greeted with "hi guys".... which is a perfectly acceptable greeting in WI. or MN.. They almost killed me on the spot... so I picked up the "ya'll" to save my life! blush.gif Funny thing... years later, I still use "ya'll" because it is more gender appropriate. It fits in pretty well in TN. too! wink.gif

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I have always thought that class is the ability to transcend social boundaries with ease. In other words, be just as comfortable in your blue jeans & boots as you are in a suit & tie, appreciate pot roast & potatoes as much as sushi, feel at home in a tent as much as a formal living room, you know. In other words it's all good! It's just too bad so many people think that their way is the only way.

Your fairly new here Bob... I agree with what your saying but in the future be it known that Moose and Delta post a lot of humor, which we appreciate it, we need to keep it light around here sometimes... just take it with a grain of salt... or if your case being in Florida... a grain of sand... and you'll get the point in the humor! wink.gif Oh yeah, watch out for the Clown... he's a real Thug! emot-LMAO.gif

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This is so true, hence the reason anyone with half a brain would never live there. LOL! JK, jokes, jokes.

Shhhh... don't tell "no body"!!!! unsure.gif ...That's one of the reason I moved... I got tired of freezing my arss off, and my toes, and my fingers, and my nose, and... well, you get the point! rolleyes.gif

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I have always thought that class is the ability to transcend social boundaries with ease. In other words, be just as comfortable in your blue jeans & boots as you are in a suit & tie, appreciate pot roast & potatoes as much as sushi, feel at home in a tent as much as a formal living room, you know. In other words it's all good! It's just too bad so many people think that their way is the only way.

Nice thought! +1

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Your fairly new here Bob... I agree with what your saying but in the future be it known that Moose and Delta post a lot of humor, which we appreciate it, we need to keep it light around here sometimes... just take it with a grain of salt... or if your case being in Florida... a grain of sand... and you'll get the point in the humor! wink.gif Oh yeah, watch out for the Clown... he's a real Thug! emot-LMAO.gif

Although he seems to be a kinder, gentler Thug since his kidnapping ordeal :lol:

He kind of reminds me of the dyslexic agnostic...wondering if there really is a Dog B)

This goes for most states, except maybe the snow thing. It does not work in Florida... :lol: :lol:

Hey...we have snow in Florida. I've seen it exactly three times in my life :D

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Although he seems to be a kinder, gentler Thug since his kidnapping ordeal :lol:

He kind of reminds me of the dyslexic agnostic...wondering if there really is a Dog B)

Why do I miss all the good stuff??? When did that happen??? rolleyes.gif

Hey...we have snow in Florida. I've seen it exactly three times in my life :D

Snow... in Florida??? unsure.gif Are you "sure" it wasn't your imagination? Seriously, come on now, ya sure you weren't dreaming??? tongue.gifwink.gif Maybe it was just "cold condensation"!!! emot-LMAO.gif

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Snow... in Florida??? unsure.gif Are you "sure" it wasn't your imagination? Seriously, come on now, ya sure you weren't dreaming??? tongue.gifwink.gif Maybe it was just "cold condensation"!!! emot-LMAO.gif

Nope...Google it...the most recent was 1989...I 75 iced over all the way to Ocala and they were making little snowmen on cars in Tampa...

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Nope...Google it...the most recent was 1989...I 75 iced over all the way to Ocala and they were making little snowmen on cars in Tampa...

Your not going to believe this but I remember that... believe it or not we were in Biloxi, MS. when that ice storm hit... it was probably the worst one to ever hit that part of Mississippi if I am not mistaken. I did not know however that it hit Florida too! How do you know this? ( I hear Mack politely ask- rolleyes.gifwink.gif )... we were "stuck" in MS. for about 4 weeks while were there adopting our first baby... a little tiny 5 lb. baby girl... who is now 23... so yes... I remember that vividly... no need to google it!!! laugh.gif

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Mack... you knew I was teasing you about the snow though- right? huh.gif

Of course...you think DV's resident smartass took it seriously? :lol:

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