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REMEMBER, no one really knows what will happen, or when. They're simply stating their opinions based on what they perceive to be happening in Iraq... So, take everything with a grain of salt ... RON Frank26 Have I not been telling you for a long time now the next phase for you as an investor in the Iraqi dinar is going to be the most difficult phase. Many of you unfortunately only want to buy the dinar to get rich. It's like buying a gun - If you don't know how to use it you can hurt yourself or someone else. You bought the Iraq dinar...I have been begging you to put a team together. [NOTE: At the appropriate time consult great Financial Advisors, tax attorneys, tax professionals to build the best exchange strategy for your unique circumstances.]

Remember, no one really knows what will happen, or when. They're simply stating their opinions based on what they perceive to be happening in Iraq... RON *** Breitling With the dinar, whether it revalues soon or whether it revalues later it doesn't matter...it's super important that you understand this. People have been sitting on the dinar and just sitting ...that's completely wrong...don't get locked up in one type of investment ...I'm always involved in something new...If you try to make money in one area and you don't expand, something is going to come along and eat it up. Whether it's health problems or a myriad of things coming down the road that can mess with you. That's why you can't stop... *** Pimpy They've [Iraq] come a long ways. They're out of Chapter VII...they have $90 billion in foreign reserve assets... 132 tons of gold. They're doing all the things all the things necessary just to protect the current let alone increase the rate. Give it a little time. It'll happen as long as they continue down the right path...

Remember, no one really knows what will happen, or when. They're simply stating their opinions based on what they perceive to be happening in Iraq. RON *** Breitling *** The taxes coming from Biden is a massive threat. It is a massive threat. You need to get your stuff in order...timing...Let's say if Iraq does...get influence from Iran and then they revalue. Then what is our strategy? Get out as quick as possible because the value is going to go down. You have to be in your tax strategy already. You can't wait..! You can't say when all this happens I'll do it. It takes time to set this stuff up... [Note: At the appropriate time for you and your unique circumstances consult with your tax professionals for the best tax strategies for you.] Be ready, and know what you're going to do ... Ron

Good Morning, Memphis is one of those serious Free Thinkers -- He reads & studies a lot - he use to post at KTFA; and so did a lot of others - Well we know what eventually happens when someone thinks there's too many chiefs & not enough indians lol - Memphis now sends out his summaries, thoughts, opinions, etc to a mailing list and gets circulated to DinarLand - His writings are most of the time a little over my head but I feel sure many here will digest it easily -- whether they agree totally or not -- lol -- Maybe some here will share their perspective and understanding for all to benefit -- UNEEK "The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem." ~ Will Rogers I love that quote. It has come to mind often thruout this dinar journey. After typing thousands of pages of material in the past 3 yrs I look back and see that a good portion of it was simply pointing. Pointing to things, both global and domestic changes, that I saw clearly would have a lasting effect on us all. As Will Rogers astutely observed, we each have misconceptions of our world and my assumption is always that I am not alone in attempting to root them out. To minimize them and REPLACE them with reality. PICK A SIDE - ACTIVE OR PASSIVE Last time I made the statement: "Confidence may seem an elusive thing right now but it will come. Our obvious best friend towards this end is knowledge and as we grow in THAT, our confidence will soar." Most of my emails last year were not premeditated (be nice). As "real world" examples popped up, I pointed. I get extremely excited when I "see" something that has value KNOWING that few others will see it from the same perspective and thus risk missing a great opportunity to see more clearly how our world truly spins. To add knowledge. Tonight I am again excited to release this blog. What a shame if we have a real world practical example simply pass us by because we were looking elsewhere! In preparing for the challenges that lie ahead AFTER the re-pricing of the IQD we each have a hurdle to overcome, a new language to learn. The language of finance. These terms can largely remain abstract to us if not seen in the real world. Today's blog will illuminate one such term. For all but the seasoned investor, our financial future depends upon entrusting the right persons which first implies that we know enough to seek him/her out of a crowd! This then requires that we roll up our sleeves and "go to school". This school for me began a few years ago when I gave up my day job of paraphrasing Iraqi news articles and I can proudly report that I have just now scratched the surface! For most readers the majority of your investment choices will become "passive" in nature as the knowledge needed to invest "actively" is not for the faint of heart. Trust me on this. Talk is cheap but try making that REAL decision with REAL money? O well, I have never tried to convince folks on anything as it never works. We have to see it for ourselves and (I believe) soon we will. For others tho, those with a mind to actively manage their wealth, you'll need a rounded macro view of the entire globe as your world will quickly become about managing risk. Risk however is not a one dimensional problem but has many potential points that must each be recognized, analyzed and quantified. If the word passive is not part of your makeup then today's blog is tailored to you. It contains a practical "real world" example that will illuminate the discussion of "political risk", an important aspect of risk for any active investor that IMO receives too little attention. THE PERFECT GOVERNMENT? Before we look at Greece in our example of political risk can you imagine what the perfect gov't might look like? One that would present to us (as investors) a political risk as close to zero as possible? Many of you naturally would answer America here but as a contrarian I would suggest no. Never has a republic stood up against the eventual corruption from within (it's politicians) and without (those who would control the game). That form of gov't most likely to stand and resist such erosions is a pure democracy where the people decide all. This then makes Switzerland the poster child of possibility and (as investors) a nation that should be studied and watched in the years ahead. If I were to ask you to name one politician from Switzerland I doubt if any hands would be raised. Why is that? It is largely because the PEOPLE are center stage. To my point here, their politicians do not have great power and hold sway over all matters. It is by the vote that matters of importance are settled. Before arousing a political debate here (NOT my desire) let's shift to what may arguably be the opposite extreme. So,what does Greece have to do with our discussion on risk? Plenty. But only if we have ALL the information! If our "opinion" (our reality) is based on what we have seen on TV then we have SOME of the facts. These facts tell us that Greece may soon default on it's debt and exit the European Union. And they may, but is there more? If the above were the full story, and Greece DID default, then Greece would be a GREAT source of opportunity for capital as their economy would surely begin to heal very quickly. Confidence would soar and (not unlike Switzerland) capital would start pouring in to this tiny nation or at least that is my position. Confidence is everything and what we are witnessing, and about to witness to an even greater degree in the years ahead, is a great shifting in confidence. Imagine a loose cannon on the deck in a tempest tossed sea and you'll get the idea. This is where our little discussed aspect of risk comes into play. Fresh on the heels of the Greek election what do we know about the new controlling Syriza party? Is there anything of importance? Are they truly JUST the "anti-austerity" party as mainstream media is telling us? In defining risk, using a global mindset, we must always consider political risk. This is one of those terms that we must add to our new language but given the volume of new terms that surely are hard for us to quantify and give value to, I am today pointing to Greece and suggesting that (as investors) this is a perfect real world example of the supreme importance of defining ALL risks. Please don't fail to appreciate that there can be various risk categories applied but for today's purposes? One of the biggies that I see often ignored (seldom talked about) is political. After reading the article linked below you will forever remember the need to take into account political risk. Is Greece soon to be a hot spot for the value investor or is it more likely to be a turbulent home for only the sharpest of crisis investors? I think the latter but regardless THIS is a PERFECT example of the changes taking place in our world. It is then up to us to go seize the opportunity that is afforded. LIVING ON THE EDGE An important thought in closing. I have a habit that has been with me from my earliest memories. It has never seemed odd to me and until recent years I assumed that most folks shared my habit. That turned out however not to be the case. It appears that I am rather odd in that I take EVERYTHING to the extreme. Immediately after being presented with new information it is taken to it's possible extremes. It's my way of chewing on it. Both "worst case" and "best case" scenarios are imagined based on all probabilities at hand and then I attempt to find balance. In time an equilibrium forms and that is then where I become "settled" on the matter. Here's why I share this... Despite what we hear and read in alternate media SELDOM do we witness the extreme possibility become reality. This is important to ponder for what we now see manifesting in the world is exceptional. I won't go into the many factors driving things globally (other than to mention the extreme of sovereign debts) but allow me today to simply point out that we are witnessing the extreme in Greece. Extraordinary circumstances in that nation have brought about a radical shift in their government and this will have a ripple effect in the region, of that you can be certain. Is this to be an isolated example? I think not. What we once considered extreme is changing and I think this trend will continue. It goes with the word "volatility" like Robin goes with Batman and if we think back just 3 weeks another example pops up... The SNB made a surprising move in the middle of the day when they unpegged the Franc to the Euro. The result? An unprecedented move in their currency. This was an extreme event folks and extreme events? They change how people think, how they react and THIS is the secret to understanding how and why capital moves. Exciting times indeed!! Memphis Thinking as an investor of YOUR wealth, IMAGINE NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO KNOW: on Greece's new gov't: http://www.mauldineconomics.com/the-10th-man/socialism-is-like-a-nude-beachsounds-like-a-great-idea-until-you-get-there

I bet there would be many different "first" reactions to this scenario -- I think it would be a good project for theses people that do things like this and post you tube videos of lol -- What do you think your knee jerk reaction would be and the first thing you would think about doing before you "really" gave it thought without the emotions? lol I like having options don't you? I also like to hear different perspectives on an idea -- especially the pros & cons don't you? Of course the final decision is ours and ours alone -- (unless you have a significant other lol) Below is just more advice with maybe a little different twist to what we have been viewing / contemplating / and discussing for the past few years -- I like to keep things fresh in my mind don't you? I have many posts in archives and find going through them periodically is helpful - UNEEK 3 Things to Do When a Bunch of Money Falls in Your Lap By AJ Smith A windfall of cash can seem like a dream come true, but it turns out that if you're not careful, that money can disappear quickly. It is all too common to ignore the warning and end up squandering the money before putting it to good use. Consider taking the following steps if you ever come into a hefty sum so you can make the most of your newfound wealth. 1. Stop & Think You just received a massive influx of cash so you should hit the stores, right? Wrong. Shopping sprees as soon as your check clears is the No. 1 mistake to avoid. The shock of a sudden large-figure windfall can cause irrational behaviors, lavish spending or sharing too extravagantly. It's a good idea to avoid spending all the money you just received without making proper use of it. You can try to take a few months and consider your short- and long-term financial goals. Then you can make sure your spending decisions align with those goals. Park your money somewhere safe like a savings account or CD so you have time to get your emotions under control, evaluate your needs or wants and get in the right mindset for better decision-making. You can also always consider working with a financial adviser if you are unsure about what to do with the money and feeling overwhelmed with the options. 2. Dump the Debt It's a good idea to consider your whole financial picture when determining how best to use that new money. It may be hard to learn which debts should be paid off first, but consider the high-interest balances like credit card bills before you get to other debts like student loans or mortgages (the lifetime cost of debt is staggering — paying off high-interest debt can make a big dent in that cost). If you can make prepayments or even finish paying out all the money you owe, your life could be in for a big, positive change. It's important to make sure you won't have to pay any penalties if you pre-pay any loans, including your mortgage. Also, even as you pay off debt, it can be a good idea to save some money in an emergency fund so you are covered if any surprise expenses come up. Many experts recommend establishing or strengthening your emergency fund with six to nine months' of expenses. Keep in mind that paying down debt has the added benefit of helping your credit score. On-time payments and lower credit utilization rates can help maintain or build a great credit score. You can see how your debt is affecting your credit scores for free every month on Credit.com. 3. Plan for Your Future Once you address your immediate financial health, don't forget about the future. It's a good idea todetermine how much you will need for retirement, how much your child's education will cost, details on that second home or business you want to start and get to work on those goals. You could even consider using some of the money to pay the closing costs so you can refinance your mortgage to a lower interest rate. Depending on how high your current mortgage rate is, this can save you significantly in how much money you will pay in interest over time. Last but far from least important, remember the taxes you may face now that your income for the year has grown substantially. The exact amount will depend on how you came into the money, but it's important to research what is taxable and be prepared for the sudden bracket bump. Once you have some funds allocated for saving and repayment, you can invest in the market carefully or splurge within reason. Just be sure to review your finances regularly to make sure you get maximum benefit from that windfall. http://finance.yahoo.com/news/3-things-bunch-money-falls-113043756.html

There is a lot of truth in these words that follow -- "Things" can be taken away from us - become broken & unusable - Memories / Experiences are ours to keep - hold on to & cherish as long as we live - Just something to think about -- <3 <3 UNEEK This Is Why You Might Spend Money On Experiences, Not Things By Teri Karl What are the things that you value most? One way to find out is by looking at how you spend your money. You’ve worked hard for your income, and you want to make the most of it. So, what’s really important to you? What are the things that you will cherish, that will always make you smile and will stay with you forever? It is the experiences that will last a lifetime, that you will look back on with joy and appreciation. A tangible purchase may give you a thrill, but consider investing in some memories, instead. Not convinced? Here are some reasons you might want to flip through that entertainment brochure, instead of browsing that product catalog. Natural Disasters Happen Life happens. Floods happen. Fires happen. Tornadoes happen. You get the picture. Your life can change in an instant, and a lifetime of accumulation can be lost forever. But your experiences are a permanent part of you. You may lose your photo albums, but the way you felt when you first saw the mountains, the activities you enjoyed on your first cruise, and that sunset you saw over the water in Hawaii — those memories will be with you forever. Things Go Out of Style, Degrade, Fade, and Disappear Do you still have bell-bottoms in your closet? Are your old computers, printers, and CD players still stored in the basement? It seems impossible to keep up with technology or fashion trends — they’re always changing! But your experiences are right here, right now. In fact, you may want to take advantage before you miss something! The rising waters of Venice are not going to recede for you. Old Beijing didn’t wait for you, and neither will the Amazonian rainforests in Brazil. That fantastic new tea shop will close if no one visits, and your favorite drive-in still needs movie-viewers. Items Change Value Though some items do increase in value, there’s no guarantee. Vases can chip, paintings can rip, rugs unravel, and cars lose thousands of dollars in value once you drive them off the lot. But your experiences are priceless. What kind of value can you put on biking your first century ride? What about that time those two dolphins raced alongside your boat, or that proposal you received at Moraine Lake? Do you also suck in your breath when you first see the ocean? After I got my first big job, I immediately treated myself to a Rick Steve’s Tour to Europe — one of the best decisions of my life. Money can’t buy you love, and it can’t buy you that perfect memory either. Clutter! I don’t think anyone intends to become a hoarder — it starts a little at a time! I want a lifestyle in which I can pack up at a moment’s notice and take an RV across the country! If you’ve ever had to move, you know how cumbersome all of those little knicknacks, holiday decorations, and assorted this-and-thats can become. Forget the stuff — pack up your necessities and head for the coast! And forget those mementos, just take lots of pictures! Digital photos take up space in your computer, not in your house! Shared Experiences Your stuff is just yours. Your computer, your car, your clothes, your coffee, your e-mails, your life. Isn’t it better when we share? How about that Cork & Canvas night with your friends? What about a fancy New Year’s Celebration in the city? Will you ever forget that first concert? Or your first time to the theater or the ballet? Do you like to be alone on your birthday? How about a group trip to Las Vegas? Or what about a cross-country road trip to see the Corn Palace and the world’s biggest rocking chair? You may not live in a palace, but you and your friends can take a tour of Hearst Castle! Or you can frequent that hole-in-the-wall that you and your friends have been meaning to try. Are you tired of watching your favorite team lose on TV? It’s always a good time at the ball park/court/stadium/rink! And I’d trade gifts for a dinner and game night any day. Create shared memories. They bring you and your loved ones closer together, and they are a great substitution for day-to-day small talk! Change Your Life Have you ever heard anyone on their death bed say, “I wish I’d bought that yacht.” Or “If I could have done it all over again, I would have bought that big screen/those diamond earrings?” Life is not about the tangibles. They stay behind when we go, and may be fought over by our descendants! We always want to have loved more, learned more, lived more. The love and memories we leave behind will last. Those unforgettable special experiences — and the hijinks — may be passed on from generation to generation. With every big or little adventure, you create a whole new you. Change your life, change a life! Visit that daughter in another state. Try that sushi restaurant; take your spouse salsa dancing! Take that mission trip and leave with a bigger heart. Live abroad and learn a new language; change your perspective of the world. Or just take a helicopter or balloon ride to overcome your fear of heights and get a whole new view! If all the world is a stage, don’t get stuck on the props! Don’t create a mountain of stuff — go out and experience life! This Is Why You Might Spend Money On Experiences, Not Things

For your reading pleasure & contemplation * Enjoy * UNEEK Iron Rules of Money By Morgan Housel 8 Financial Rules That Apply To Everyone And Their Money No matter who you are, how much you earn, or how you invest, a few truths apply to you and your money. 1. Spending money to show people how much money you have is the surest way to have less money. Singer Rihanna earns tens of millions of dollars, but found herself "effectively bankrupt" in 2009. She sued her financial adviser for not doing his job. He offered a legendary response: "Was it really necessary to tell her that if you spend money on things you will end up with the things and not the money?" The first iron rule of money is that wealth is the stuff you don't see. It's the cars not purchased, the clothes not bought, the jewelry forgone. Money buys things, but wealth -- assets such as cash, stocks, bonds, in the bank, unspent -- buys freedom and security. Pick which one you want wisely. 2. Wealth is completely relative. According to World Bank economist Branko Milanovic, "the poorest [5%] of Americans are better off than more than two-thirds of the world population." Furthermore, "only about 3% of the Indian population have incomes higher than the bottom (the very poorest) U.S. percentile." And those figures are adjusted for differences in cost of living. The easiest way to judge how well you're doing is to compare yourself to people around you. The curse of living in the United States is that most people are doing well, so your own success looks ordinary. If you want to feel rich, look at the 90% of the world that isn't American or European. You'll realize that feeling rich is just a mental game. 3. The goal of investing isn't to minimize boredom, it's to maximize returns. Successful investing is pretty boring. Its main requirement is patience and inaction. Most people demand more excitement, so they tweak, fiddle, and adjust their investments as much as necessary to destroy as much of their wealth as possible. If you want to do better than average at anything, you must do something that most people can't. In investing, that means putting up with perpetual boredom. It's a serious skill. 4. The only way to build wealth is to have a gap between your ego and your income. Getting rich has little to do with your income and everything to do with your savings rate. And your savings rate is just the difference between your ego and your income. Keep the former in check and you should be fine over time. 5. The most valuable asset you can have is a strong propensity to not care what others think. Most people are bad with money, so being good means doing things differently than they do. You won't spend as much. You'll invest differently. You'll grow wealth slower. This can make you look like a fool in the short run. But who cares what others think? They're probably idiots. As Charlie Munger put it, "Someone will always be getting richer faster than you. This is not a tragedy." Not only is it not a tragedy, but it's a necessity. The ability to not care what other people think about what you're doing is mandatory in achieving abnormal results. 6. Spend more time studying failures than successes. You can learn more about money from the person who went bankrupt with a subprime mortgage than you can from Warren Buffett. That's because it's easier and more common to be stupid than it is to be brilliant, so you should spend more effort trying to avoid bad decisions than making good ones. Economist Eric Falkenstein summed this up well: "In expert tennis, 80% of the points are won, while in amateur tennis, 80% are lost. The same is true for wrestling, chess, and investing: Beginners should focus on avoiding mistakes, experts on making great moves." 7. People are flawed, so a lot of stuff makes no sense. As James Grant put it, "To suppose that the value of a stock is determined purely by a corporation's earnings is to forget that people have burned witches, gone to war on a whim, risen to the defense of Joseph Stalin, and believed Orson Welles when he told them over the radio that the Martians had landed." 8. Anything can happen at any time for any reason. You might be laid off next week. You can be sued tomorrow. Or win the lottery. Maybe you'll get cancer. Or a huge promotion. Stocks can rally for twice as long as you think and crash twice as fast as you assumed. History is one d***** thing after another, most of it involves money, and there's nothing you can do about it. Read more: http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2014/09/26/iron-rules-of-money.aspx#ixzz3EexuXGe6

The links go with the bold words and of course in the order of their listing Passport 101: How To Apply, Renew Or Replace A Passport Caroline Costello, SmarterTravel.com 11:53 a.m. EDT April 4, 2013 The process of obtaining, renewing, or updating a passport is exactly what one would expect when working with a government agency: tedious, mind-numbing, and overly complex. While you'll find everything you need to know about the often befuddling process on the U.S. State Department website, we've made things a little simpler for you by breaking down the basics—from forms to fees to IDs—and providing helpful links to the appropriate forms and websites. http://travel.state.gov/passport/ Getting your first passport To get your first passport, you'll have to show up in person. Make an appointment at an acceptance facility or passport agency; search for the one closest to you here. You likely live near a facility where you can get a passport. Many post offices and even some public libraries can accept passport applications. Arrive at your passport agency with: • Your filled-in DS-11 application form. http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds11/ds11_842.html • Evidence of U.S. citizenship. Find a list of acceptable documents here. http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/first/first_830.html#step3first • Valid identification. Find a list of acceptable ID here. http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/first/first_830.html#step4first • A photocopy of the front and back of the identification you're bringing on clean, white 8½" x 11" paper. • Your application fee. For a first-time adult passport, the total fee is $135. http://travel.state.gov/passport/fees/fees_837.html • Passport photos. You can read more about the specifications for passport photos here. But most major drug stores, such as Walgreens or CVS, will sell appropriately sized passport photos that comply with government standards; this makes things a little easier. http://travel.state.gov/passport/pptphotoreq/pptphotoreq_5333.html Renewing a passport You have two options here: Either you have your old passport or you don't. If the former's true, you can apply through the mail as long as your most recent passport is undamaged, was issued when you were at least 16 years old, and isn't more than 15 years old. If you are nodding "yes" to all of that, simply mail in your old passport with the required documents and photos, and you'll receive a new one in the mail in roughly four to six weeks. (Don't worry. You'll get your old passport back.) Here's what you need: Form DS-82, your renewal fee ($110 for an adult), passport photos, and your old passport. Get more information about renewing a passport through the mail here. http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds82/ds82_843.html http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds82/ds82_843.html Keep in mind that if you've changed your name since your last passport was issued, include an original certificate or court order that documents this; those without such papers must apply for a renewal in person. Don't have your old passport? Then you can't get a passport renewed by mail. Head to a passport agency in person. http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/where/where_4851.html Lost or stolen passports If your previous passport was lost or stolen, you'll have to apply for a new one in person. You'll need to bring two forms in this case: the standard DS-11 passport application and Form DS-64, which asks you to describe what happened to your little blue book. http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds11/ds11_842.html http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds64/ds64_845.html Unfortunately, a replacement passport isn't free. You'll have to pay the standard application fee—$135—when applying for your new passport. Refer to the "Getting your first passport" section above; it lists everything else you'll need to bring with you, including passport photos and identification. Remember to always report your passport as missing the moment you're sure it's gone. You can do this by calling 1-877-487-2778. Lost or stolen passports abroad First and foremost, be prepared! Always travel with a photocopy of your passport and other identification, such as a driver's license or birth certificate; this will make your situation much easier if (knock on wood) your passport disappears. The State Department advises that American travelers get in touch with the closest U.S. embassy or consulate if they lose their passports while abroad. You'll have to go there in person to get a new passport in order to return home. In What to Do If You've Lost Your Bag, Wallet, Everything, Rick Steves writes, "A replacement passport costs $140 and can generally be issued within a few days, or faster if you make a good case that you need it right away. If you don't have the funds, the embassy will help you contact someone at home who can wire money directly to the embassy." Adding pages to a passport Do you require additional passport pages? If so, we're totally jealous. Beef up your blue book by mailing in Form DS-4085 along with your almost-full passport and the required $82 fee. According to the State Department, it's the right time to ask for more paper when you have two to four empty pages left in your passport. So keep a close eye on the status of your visa pages if you're an avid traveler. http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds4085/ds4085_2662.html Expediting a passport You can get your passport expedited in roughly two to three weeks (door-to-door) via the State Department when you pay an extra $60 plus $12.85 for overnight delivery in addition to the standard processing fees. (Processing times can vary, so check the State Department site for the most up-to-date estimate.) http://travel.state.gov/passport/processing/processing_1740.html Need it sooner? Schedule an appointment to show up in person at a regional passport agency if you require a passport for travel within two weeks. We don't normally recommend using passport expediting services, which sometimes charge hundreds of dollars to secure passports in as little as 24 hours, unless you're desperate. If you have enough time to get your passport directly through the traditional government channels, do it that way. It'll save you a ton of money. You can check the status of a pending passport application here. http://travel.state.gov/passport/status/status_2567.html Changing your name on your passport Good news: There's no fee for changing the name on your passport if your passport was issued less than a year ago. If the book's more than a year old, though, you must pay standard renewal fees. To change your name, fill out the appropriate form (use Form DS-5504 if your current passport is less than a year old and Form DS-82 if your passport is more than a year old) and mail it with your current passport, original proof of name change, a passport photo, and renewal fees, if necessary. Read more about tweaking your name on your passport here. And congratulations on your new moniker. http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds5504/ds5504_2663.html http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds82/ds82_843.html http://travel.state.gov/passport/correcting/ChangeName/ChangeName_851.html Passports for kids For children ages 15 and younger, the fees and requirements for getting a passport are a little different than those for adults. Essentially, parents need to provide identification in addition to proof that they are legal guardians for child applicants. Guardians in two-parent households must appear together with the young applicants or provide a notarized statement of consent from the absentee adult. Single parents must appear in person as well. And all parents must show proof of legal guardianship; this would include a birth certificate or a court order. http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html#step4minor A passport for a minor costs $105. And the usual—Form DS-11, a standard passport photo, and the appropriate identification for parent(s) and child—must be brought to your local passport office. Read more about getting a passport for a child here. http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds11/ds11_842.html http://www.travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html SmarterTravel.com features expert travel advice and unbiased coverage of travel deals http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/advice/2013/04/04/passport-101-how-to-apply-renew-or-replace/2051177/

Taking Responsibility For Yourself By Ann Christine Johnson Response-ability is the ability to respond to all that is happening around you and all that is happening in your life. It is the ability to respond positively and creatively to the many challenges of life: change, loss, bereavement, infirmity, disease, accidents, old age; to other people’s choices of behavior; and to the many frightening and disturbing things that are happening in this world of ours, instead of reacting or over-reacting to everything. Many people today feel pressured and overwhelmed by work, family and financial commitments. They haven’t yet learned to take full responsibility for their behavior. Often they lose control, reacting and over-reacting to things happening around them. Usually there is the tendency to blame others for their discomfort, instead of looking within for the source of their unhappiness. When you can learn to observe and change your part in relationship patterns; when you can learn to stop taking things so personally; when you can detach from the petty irritations of life, other people’s flaws and all forms of negativity (fear, anger, resentment) then you will be able to be more in control of yourself and your life. Personal responsibility means being responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and actions; for living your life with integrity; and for monitoring your own feelings to determine whether you are still connected to Source Energy (God, Universal Love), or not. For fostering and protecting your own emotional and psychological health; for your own personal and spiritual growth; for facing your fears and managing your life in ways that will prevent burnout; for how you allow the past and other’s behavior to affect your current level of happiness. It means being responsible for the way that you behave around others. When someone says something that evokes a strong reaction in you, this is because they have pressed a button for you. This means there is something within you that has yet to be resolved. There maybe be a hidden hurt or fear (lurking unknown to you) somewhere below the surface of your consciousness waiting for someone or something to trigger it; or there maybe something within you which has finally come to the surface to be resolved. The strong reaction on your part gives you an insight as to what needs to be resolved or healed. Although it is inappropriate to hit out at another person, being human you will react from time to time. By apologizing to the other person for your behavior, and meaning it; by resolving to make every effort to avoid any future outbursts, you are taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior towards others. Don’t be overly responsible for other people in any aspect of their lives, and don’t allow others to dump their responsibilities and problems onto you. Other people’s choice of behavior in any given situation is up to them. By interfering, becoming too involved or protecting others from the consequences of their actions, you may be preventing others from making progress in their lives. Steer clear of “psychic vampires” – ordinary people who, lacking in vitality, drain healthy people of their energies, usually with the unconscious intent of doing so. Steer clear of chronic complainers, the chronically angry, fault finders and blamers. Being around such persons will exhaust you. If you spend your time taking responsibility for yourself and your own life then maybe you can teach those around you to do the same.

I think it would be really neat for members to share some specific events that support this "synchronicity" - I have had many over the years -- Some say there are no "coincidences" - that everything is by design and divine purpose -- hummmm interesting -- I hope some will share their experiences -- and thoughts - I find this very interesting and hope you enjoy the read <3 UNEEK Synchronicity … The Phenomenon By Sarah Delamere Hurding syncronicity, magical, logic, life, intuition, soul, Sarah Delamere Hurding If there’s one thing you should know about, it’s synchronicity. Always wondered what those coincidences in life – big and small – really mean? Have you ever been thinking about someone you haven’t seen for months only to bump into them in a busy shopping center? Or have their name to flash up on your mobile moments before you key in their number? This is the tantalizing nature of synchronicity. We all have examples of intriguing, significant coincidences that have happened along the way. But sit down and try to define the quality of these magical moments, and it is likely you’ll run into difficulty. It doesn’t help that we tend to be ruled by our logical minds, which tell us to put everything into a safe, ordered box, and dismiss apparently random events. But these synchronicities are happening everywhere in our daily lives – whether we choose to notice them or not. If we close our minds to this phenomenon, we run the risk of reducing life to a purely material, painfully tedious, humdrum level. Synchronicity is a magical thing that has the power to transform and enhance our lives if we decide to give it air time. A greater understanding of synchronicity unlocks our innate creativity and oomph, as well as our ability to manifest good things, and choose the life path that’s right for us. We are all interconnected by an energetic World-Wide-Web. Understanding synchronicity greatly enhances our life experience by helping us tune into our weird and wonderful Universe. These moments have an energizing, significant quality that connects us to each other, and to the hub of life itself. Synchronicity reassures us that our lives really do have an inherent meaning. It’s comforting to think that there IS a pattern and destiny within the chaos, emphasizing life’s magical quality. Synchronicity is not the reflection or projection of a mad psyche, or an imagining designed to make us feel better. Psychic is not the same as psycho! These are real events, providing food for thought, if not nourishment for the soul. Synchronicity directly reflects our inner and outer reality. For, it is when our inner moments are reflected in the outside world that our realities collide. When this happens, our inner-tuition is validated by a wonderful external event. We feel vindicated and liberated in one fell swoop. Magick! There definitely seems to be a link between heightened intuition and synchronicity. My life as a psychic has been full of events too numerous to mention, that continually reassure me that synchronicity is a phenomenon which hits the spot time and time again. There is no doubt that synchronicity makes us aware of the powerful forces at work in the Universe, and encourages us to increasingly trust our hunches. It is when we pay attention to what’s really going on, that our intuition kicks in and begins to help us in practical ways. As we trust it, we then begin to access the power center within that ALWAYS knows what to do next. Intuition is a significant part of our psyche which can be opened up and developed, making us more prone to the synchronistic moments that reveal so much. It acts as a strong indicator, and yields profound clues about what can happen next. My upbringing was both traditional and academic – my father is a doctor, psychotherapist, Anglican lay reader and author, I was also taught to be empathetic and open to life’s magic and mystery. My Scorpio Nan is well known for her intuition, even at the ripe old age of 93! Her memory is now severely impaired, but she still possesses the ‘Gift’ which I obviously inherited. Nan was always able to predict the arrival of an unplanned guest, and would have inevitably made their favorite food the day before on a whim! Jung famously coined the phrase ‘meaningful coincidence’ when he researched the phenomenon of synchronicity. He identified three different types of this magical moment. The ability to PREDICT events is the first of these. Some of you may remember that I blew the socks off Louis Walsh (not easy!) when I predicted the full line up of SIX, months before the judges had themselves decided. I put names in an envelope in October, and the protégés were unveiled in February, minus Nadine Coyle who had famously lied about her age. My sixth choice was her replacement. COINCIDENCE is the second type of synchronicity, which you may experience when a book falls open at the right page, or drops off the shelf in the library. Or you get that phone call just as you are dialing the person calling YOU!I was amazed to see Bono’s drawing of ‘Mermaid in the Temple Bar’ for the I-Cross charity released in November 2002. We had bumped into each other on the beach in October, when I had just written the first chapter of my book ‘Mermaid in the Kitchen’. I subsequently opened up the paper to find his Mermaid sketch staring back at me, dated October 2002. Even though we are friends, neither of us was conscious of the similar title and theme of our work at that point! The third example of synchronicity is TELEPATHY. This can come in the form of a dream, vision, or ‘sensing’ what someone is experiencing a distance away. When I lived in Edinburgh, I would regularly turn up on my pregnant friend’s doorstep with the relevant craving of the day. Even quite obscure things like Kumquats, Black-eyed Beans and melons from the corner shop found their way into my bag. By opening our minds to synchronicity we are able to amplify our intuition. Rather like flexing a psychic muscle, it’s a case of use it or lose it! The observation of synchronicity offers us a practical way to develop intuitive awareness. The more tuned-in to the universe we are, the more able we are to recognize the right way forward. Our intuition, when it’s truly jumping, enables us to access our best options. By being more psychic and intuitive, we allow destiny to take a hand in a profound way. As we grow, and become increasingly aware, synchronicity can also be a highly effective form of guidance, revealing clues from our Guardian Angel, Higher Self, or Innate Psychology. Once when I needed guidance about what to do with my beloved Dashund Freddie, who had been making improvements after a nasty road accident, I looked out of the window, and there against a clear blue sky were three images which answered the question. The first cloud was in the shape of a Dashund lying down, the second was of a Daschund running; then there was a gap, and finally there was an image of a Dashund leaping heavenwards. The answer was clear; it was time to let him go. Synchronicity gets us into the groove most effectively when we are, as Jung described it, ‘INDIVIDUATED’. This level of maturity and unity with the universe is difficult to achieve. We can but try! The Individuated person is a formidable force indeed. This person has a sophisticated knowledge of symbols, and is usually able to analyze, but not over interpret, life’s synchronicities. Likely to have heightened psychic ability and spiritual awareness, an individuated human being knows the value of meditation, silence and humor. Let’s just call her Little Miss Perfect (or Mr Right-on-cue!).Everyone’s personal journey is different. With synchronicity offering to put the wind in our sails, we can certainly look forward to feeling empowered and free. A word of warning! There is a danger in reading too much into every little thing, and one can go too far. We are more powerful than we realize, and synchronicity definitely underlines that fact. We are, indeed, so creative that we CAN manifest quite effectively our hopes and fears simply by focusing. It goes without saying then, that it’s best to keep it positive! A negative spiral of thinking helps no one, and you may be blocking your synchronistic moments if you give your insecurities too much air time. We are creative beings who structure our lives from minute to minute. So learn to access what you want, need and desire, as opposed to what you dread and fear. Project the good stuff into the ether by ditching negative thought patterns. It is better not to think at all than to think negatively. Empty your mind of emotional debris and clutter, then relax and begin to visualize every good thing. It really is as simple as that. Remain open and receptive to your destiny. At all times, use your skills of discernment and wisdom, too. Your synchronistic moments will then naturally increase, and you will have ample confirmation from the Universe that you are well and truly on track.

I offer this post to anyone that might be discouraged, weary, frustrated, tired, disappointed, depressed, angry, fed up, and ready to give up - May it give you a renewed hope - Hang in there folks - Be encouraged - Be Hopeful - Be Grounded - Be Grateful - You are still in the race! UNEEK By FaithRider » May 14th, 2013, 12:09 pm • Endure Until the End He who endures to the end shall be saved. Matthew 24:13 I was reminded today about a conversation I once had with my designer. I was talking with her about a season we had come through. I was telling her how much I appreciated her hanging in there with us. I began to thinkabout the trait I have come to admire in a person is just that, the ability to hang in there no matter what. I don't think this is a trait we are born with; I think it is one of those things that have to be developed in us. You know, those things God must work in us. And the only way to do that is to go through some stuff. It's like praying for patience. God will answer, but His answer will come through times of needing patience and choosing patience when you'd rather not. Right? It's the same with endurance. If you have received our motivations for very long you know my favorite statement, the one my family grows weary of hearing, everything is a choice. You can choose to be happy or mad. You can choose to have faith or doubt. You can choose to trust God or not. Endurance is the same, it's a choice. You are simply choosing to stand when everything around you is telling you to quit. Remember Job? He was in the middle of a time of great challenge. This time had touched his heart when he lost his children, his finances when it touched his crop and animals and then, it touched his body. Yet, Job didn't speak against God. His wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" She was encouraging him to speak against God, to say that God wasn't who God said He was. Now remember, to bless means to empower to prosper, therefore to curse would stop God from working on his behalf. What she was encouraging Job to do was to react according to his flesh and what he was feeling in his emotions. As believers go through times of challenge they often fall into that same trap. They begin to question God and say things like 'why are you letting this happen to me?' Or 'why are you not coming through for me?' These are questioning God; these are cursing God and putting Him in a position where He can't work on their behalf. Never do this, no matter what the enemy throws your way, don't question God. Questioning God is doubt and unbelief. God once told me this 'wondering is wavering, wavering is doubt, doubt is sin.' Don't allow your mind to begin to wonder, if you do this will lead you down a path that will take you directly to sin, the sin of unbelief. Let's look at something else she said 'are you still holding your integrity?' What does that mean? When I looked it up in the Strong's Concordance it means to complete, become whole, to completely cross over. Aha! You see when you choose to endure to the end; you completely cross over to God's side. You are no longer out in the middle trying to decide if you are fully persuaded, no, you are completely, wholly convinced that God will do what God said He would do and there is no backing up. This is the last place the enemy wants you and he will do everything in his power to keep you from this place. Because you simply can't stop someone who refuses to stop. And that is who we are. God is amazing, we are not asked to fight a battle that can't be won. No! The battle has already been won, Jesus defeated Satan completely at the cross. God is simply asking us to trust Him and to endure to the end. It's that simple, trust God and stand. Anyone can do that, no, it's not always easy, but it is possible and it is all it takes to see the full manifestation of your promise. When you feel you can't do anything more, simply stand. The battle has been fought and won, you are the victor, Jesus caused you to be more than a conqueror through what He did, you only have to believe God, stand and receive. Matthew 24:13 says 'he who endures to the end shall be saved.' Saved means delivered, healed, set free, prosperous, at peace, it means everything that you have need of. So, stand! Endure! Endure to the end and deliverance will be seen. That is all that is expected of you and God has granted you the ability to do just that. Become a person who never quits, become a person the enemy can't stop; you can make it all the way to the end. Kim Potter A New Thing Ministry PO BOX 750 Dayton, TN 37321

THE BRIDGE Long ago there were two brothers who loved each other very much as their parents had taught them. They lived on adjoining farms only divided by a small creek bed that they had bought as their parents got older so they could be together. One day they fell into a conflict with one another. It was the first serious rift in 40 some odd years of their lives. Years of farming the land of their farms had come and gone. They bought machinery together and used it between them without any disagreements. They shared crops when one or the other was not so productive in the season. They traded labor and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding one day when one was in a bad mood and it finally exploded into an exchange of bitter words then silence between the two. Brotherly love just flew out the door because they were exceeding their pride in each one being right no matter the cost at the moment. It went on for months, even though both were lonely and missed his brother, pride just would not let them solve the issue. Both went to the same church and silently prayed for a blessing to correct this between them but wouldn't humble themselves enough to find peace. They sat separately from one another and people in the church could tell they had problems but would not inquire for fear of upsetting one or the other. Both were highly respected in the community. They loved their God as their parents had taught them. One morning there was a loud knock on one brother's door. He opened it to find a man with carpenters toolbox in hand. He was a stranger in the area but looked humble enough. He was a man of medium build with a beard and slim face and there was something about his eyes and voice that made him trust worthy. "I'm looking for a few days work, perhaps you would have some small jobs around your farm that I could help with". The brother thought for a minute and then the thought hit him, " I do have a job you can do for me". I want a fence built on my side of the small creek bed that divides my land from that farm across the way so I don't have to look at it over there any more. "That's my neighbor, matter's fact that's my younger brother". Last week there was a beautiful meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to it and destroyed its beautiful looks, he also took it and widened the little creek so it was wider and now deeper than ever. I know he did this to spite me, so I will do him one better. See that pile of lumber over there by the barn? I want you to build me a fence....an 8 ft tall fence so I want need to see his place or his face anymore. The carpenter listened with concern and said, "I think I understand the situation you have and I will fix it. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and i'll be able to do a job that please you. The older brother had to go to town so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. It was morning and the carpenter had all day and he work hard sawing, nailing and measuring. About sunset the older brother returned and the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer eye's opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge, a bridge stretching from one side of the now deeper creek to the other. A fine peace of work, hand rails and all. While he was standing on the new bridge still wondering whether to get mad at the carpenter for not following his wishes, he looked up and there was his brother coming across the other side with his hand out stretched. You are quite a fellow to build this bridge between us after all I have said and done, can you forgive me. Let this day pass with thanksgiving that we have admitted our wrongs and ask forgiveness of one another to live in peace and love as brothers should. As they were embracing and rejoicing to one another, they looked around to see that the carpenter had gone but left a peace of paper laying on the ground right in front of the entrance to the bridge. The brothers walked over to see what it was and it said, "This bridge was built to make amends between the two of you. You owe me nothing, it was a pleasure and I would love to stay and chat with you but I have many more bridges to build and more lives to repair. Please remember that I am always here for you now and always.............Jesus Lo I will be with you always, even till the end of the world. Jesus will repair our broken addicted lives if we will lay it at his in honesty. This is a lesson in life that there are many out there like this that need some kind of repairing. Pride and arrogance will hold you back and destroy the lives of friends and families. This is just what Satan is looking for division among us. He knows as long as there is division that love will fade away and if love fades away he has conquered a life away from God. Small words or deeds can cause a lifetime of guilt deep down inside for what we should have done and didn't because pride took over. Just as this story is written, ask yourself this, "Where would these two brothers have been in life if it wasn't for Jesus building that bridge between them. More than likely they would lived until life ceased without being forgiven for they deeds. Jesus if you can't find it in your heart to forgive thy brother there will be no forgiveness for you. Think about it.

4 Tips to Deal with Frustrating People By Judith Orloff. M.D. “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” ~ Saint Francis De Sales Every day there are plenty of good reasons to be frustrated. Another long line. Telemarketers. A goal isn’t materializing “fast enough.” People don’t do what they’re supposed to. Rejection. Disappointment. How to deal with it all? You can drive yourself crazy, behave irritably, feel victimized, or try to force an outcome–all self-defeating reactions that alienate others and bring out the worst in them. Or, you can learn to transform your frustration with patience. ... Read More Link On Right As a psychiatrist, I help others see that patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act. To many people, when you say, “Have patience,” it feels unreasonable and inhibiting, an unfair stalling of goals. In contrast, I’m presenting patience as a form of compassion, a way to regain your center in a world filled with frustration. I n “Emotional Freedom,” I discuss how to transform frustration with patience. To tame frustration, begin by evaluating its present role in your life, how much it limits your capacity to be happy. The following quiz will let you know where you are now so you can grow freer by developing patience. Frustration Quiz: How Frustrated Am I? To determine your success at coping with this emotion, ask yourself: Am I often frustrated and irritable? Do I typically respond to frustration by snapping at or blaming others? Do I self-medicate letdowns with junk food, drugs or alcohol? Do my reactions hurt other people’s feelings? When the frustration has passed, do I usually feel misunderstood? During a hard day at work, do I tend to lose my cool? When I’m disappointed, do I often feel unworthy or like giving up? Answering “yes” to 5-7 questions indicates an extremely high level of frustration. 3-5 “yeses” indicates a high level. 2 “yeses” indicates a moderate level. 1 “yes” indicates a low level. Zero “yeses” suggests you’re dealing successfully with this emotion. Even if your frustrations are off the charts, patience is the cure. In today’s world there are plenty of opportunities to cultivate this invaluable skill. Life teaches patience if you let it. 4 Ways to Communicate with Patience (from “Emotional Freedom”) When someone frustrates you, always take a breath first before you react. Decide if you want to talk now or wait to calm down. If you’re highly reactive and upset, have the discussion later when you’re calmer then you’ll be more persuasive and less threatening. At that time use this approach: Tip #1. Focus on a specific issue–don’t escalate or mount a personal attack. For instance, “I feel frustrated when you promise to do something but there isn’t follow-through.” No resorting to threats or insults. In an even, non-blaming tone, lead with how the behavior makes you feel rather than how you think the other person is wrong. Tip #2. Listen non-defensively without reacting or interrupting. It’s a sign of respect to hear a person’s point of view, even if you disagree. Avoid an aggressive tone or body language. Try not to squirm with discomfort or to judge. Tip #3. Intuit the feelings behind the words When you can appreciate someone’s motivation, it’s easier to be patient. Try to sense if this person is frightened, insecure, up against a negative part of themselves they’ve never confronted. If so, realize this can be painful. See what change they’re open to. Tip #4. Respond with clarity and compassion this attitude takes others off the defensive so they’re more comfortable admitting their part in causing frustration. Describe everything in terms of remedies to a specific task, rather than generalizing. State your needs. For instance, “I’d really appreciate you not shouting at me even if I disappoint you.” If the person is willing to try, show how pleased you are. Validate their efforts: “Thanks for not yelling at me. I really value your understanding.” See if the behavior improves. If not, you may have to minimize contact and/or expectations. In communication, patience is a powerful emotional currency. As you’re more able to tolerate the discomfort of frustration and not blow it by acting out, your relationships will function on a higher level. In any interchange, always define what you’re after. Is it to resolve a specific frustrating behavior? To say “no” to participating in a dead-end pattern? Or is it to simply convey your feelings without expectation of change? Even if the frustration is irresolvable, patience sets the right tone to treat others and yourself respectfully. Judith Orloff MD is the author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Tra…(Three Rivers Press, 2011) now available in paperback and upon which this teleclass is based. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, the Oprah Magazine and USA Today. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. An Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, she passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness.

The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide Emotional Freedom in Action By Judith Orloff, MD To be emotionally free you can’t remain naïve about relationships. Some people are positive and mood elevating. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you. Vampires do more than drain your physical energy. The super-malignant ones can make you believe you’re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn’t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage by making smaller digs which can make you feel bad about yourself—for instance, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “You’re overly sensitive!” Suddenly they’ve thrown you emotionally off-center you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth. The concept struck such a collective chord in my book Positive Energy that in Emotional Freedom I illustrate how it applies to protecting your emotions and not absorbing other people’s negativity. In the book I discuss these vampires to watch for and ways to deal with them. SIGNS THAT YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE (from “Emotional Freedom” by Judith Orloff MD) • Your eyelids are heavy—you’re ready for a nap • Your mood takes a nosedive • You want to binge on carbs or comfort foods • You feel anxious, depressed, or negative • You feel put down, sniped at, or slimed TYPES OF EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES Vampire #1: The Narcissist Their motto is “Me first.” Everything is all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention, and crave admiration. They’re dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. If you don’t do things their way, they become punishing, withholding, or cold. How to Protect Your Emotions: Keep your expectations realistic. These are emotionally limited people. Try not to fall in love with one or expect them to be selfless or love without strings attached. Never make your self-worth dependent on them or confide your deepest feelings to someone who won’t cherish them. To successfully communicate, the hard truth is that you must show how something will be to their benefit. Though it’s better not to have to contend with this tedious ego stroking, if the relationship is unavoidable use the above strategies to achieved desired results. Vampire #2: The Victim These vampires grate on you with their “poor-me’ attitude and are allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. The world is always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. When you offer a solution to their problems they always say, “Yes, but.” You might end up screening your calls or purposely avoid them. As a friend, you may want to help but their tales of woe overwhelm you. How to Protect Your Emotions: Set kind but firm limits. Listen briefly and tell a friend or relative, “I love you but I can only listen for a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions. Then I’d be thrilled to brainstorm with you.” With a coworker, listen briefly, sympathize by saying, “I’ll keep good thought for things to work out. Then say, I hope you understand, but I’m on deadline and must go back to work. Then use “this isn’t a good time” body language such as crossing your arms and breaking eye contact to help set these healthy limits. Vampire #3: The Controller These people obsessively try to control you and dictate what you’re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They’ll control you by invalidating your emotions if they don’t fit into their rulebook. They often start sentences with “You know what you need?” and then proceed to tell you. You end up feeling dominated, demeaned, or put down. How to Protect Your Emotions: The secret to success is never try and control a controller. Be healthily assertive, but don’t tell them what to do. You can say, “I value your advice but really need to work through this myself.” Be confident but don’t play the victim or sweat the small stuff. Focus on high priority issues rather than on putting the cap on the toothpaste. Vampire #4: The Splitter or Borderline Personality Splitters see things as either good or bad and have love/hate relationships. One minute they idealize you, the next you’re the enemy if you upset them. They have a sixth sense for knowing how to pit people against each another and will retaliate if they feel you have wronged them. They are people who are fundamentally damaged—inwardly they feel as if they don’t exist and become alive when they get angry. They’ll keep you on an emotional roller coaster and you may walk on eggshells to avoid their anger. How to Protect Your Emotions: Stay calm. Don’t react when your buttons get pushed. Splitters feed off of anger. They respond best to structure and limit setting. If one goes into a rage, tell the person, “I’m leaving until you get calmer. Then we can talk.” Refuse to take sides when he or she tries to turn you against someone else. With family members, it’s best to show a united front and not let a splitter’s venomous opinions poison your relationships. Judith Orloff MD is author of the new New York Times bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Harmony Books, 2009) upon which this article is based. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. An Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, she passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness Personal Note -- These types of people do exist - they are not at a healthy place and while they could use some compassion - understanding and direction for healing they can be very influential in your life and make it miserable -- You may not be able to just totally walk away if they are your partner or close family so you will want to protect your own well being by educating yourself and taking the steps to survive this sort of relationship - I hope you find the information helpful <3 <3 UNEEK

Ten Steps to Genuine Self-Acceptance By Marcia Sirota, MD Where do genuine self-love and self-acceptance come from? We get these things by soaking up all the affirmation our parents give us when we’re little. Also, our parents model their good self-worth to us. What happens, though, if our parents didn’t give us what we needed? Are we doomed to forever feeling inadequate or unworthy if our folks were neglectful toward us or unaccepting of themselves? The good news is that a person can develop self-love at any stage of life. Like learning a language, it’s easier to do as a child but it’s absolutely possible to do as an adult, using the following ten steps: The first step is to recognize that any neglect, abuse or lack of protection you experienced as a child had nothing to do with you and everything to do with your parents’ limited capacity for giving love. If your parents mistreated you it was not an indication of your inadequacy but rather, of their failings as parents. It is a mistake to judge yourself based on their poor parenting. Too many people walk around with the incorrect assumption that they are undeserving of love, success or happiness today because they failed to please their parents. The truth is, good parents love and accept their children regardless of their behavior or attributes. In fact, everyone deserves good things in life, regardless of whether or not they had adequate parenting. The second step is to grieve the loss of what you didn’t receive as a child, and begin to give yourself all the love, care and support you needed then and still need, today. In this way, you can start letting go of your past and being there for yourself. You’ll become your own “good parent” by making some time each day to engage in supportive and affirming self-talk. Thirdly, take a good, clear look at the choices you’ve been making; forgive yourself for your mistakes and set your intention to make better choices in the future. Self-esteem isn’t about complacency or leniency toward yourself but about compassion. An attitude of laziness or irresponsibility won’t help you develop self-esteem, but striving to be a better person will. In the fourth step, you must recognize your negative self-talk. The judgments and criticisms we receive as children are internalized and become the “inner critic” whose negative messages are so familiar that often, they’re unrecognizable. You’ll need to begin identifying all the things you say to yourself that undermine your self-confidence and self-acceptance. One such way is to ask yourself, “Would I talk to anyone else like this?” When you recognize the messages of the inner critic, you can begin to contradict them, one by one. Remember, nobody needs to be perfect, and that being good enough is good enough! The fifth step is to trust yourself that you have what it takes to live your best life and to handle each challenge as it arises. Self-trust leads to confidence, and greater self-esteem. The sixth step is to face your challenges head-on. Avoiding difficulties leads to a sense of helplessness, which develops into anxiety and shame. Dealing with your challenges leads to a sense of mastery, and pride in your accomplishments. The seventh step is standing up for yourself in your relationships and letting the important people in your life know what you really need and feel. Confrontation might be scary, but it will separate out your true friends from your false ones. Improving your good relationships and walking away from the bad ones will make you feel empowered and will heighten your sense of self-worth. Being a genuine person is a necessary eighth step in developing self-worth. If you put on a persona, no-one can know or love the real you. If you are genuine, you’ll experience esteem-building love and affirmation from the people who are close to you. Self-soothing is the ninth step: You need to be able to comfort and reassure yourself when things are difficult. If you can’t do this, you’ll end up using food, alcohol or other addictions to self-soothe. These choices will create shame, whereas constructive self-soothing will build self-confidence and self-love. Being a self-centered, thoughtless or greedy person won’t enable you to feel good about yourself. On the other hand, being kind, generous and patient with others will benefit them and enable you to feel good about yourself. Being a loving and giving person is the tenth and final step in building genuine self-acceptance. Marcia Sirota MD is a psychiatrist and psychotherapist practicing in Toronto Canada. Her areas of interest include overcoming compulsive eating and other addictions, unblocking creativity and healing PTSD. She is the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute, which is dedicated to promoting the philosophy of Ruthless Compassion.

Don’t Fear The Haters By Marcia Sirota In my creativity and empowerment group for women the other day, we were having a very interesting discussion about the fear of criticism. It turns out that many of the participants were afraid to put their artwork out into the public space, because they didn’t feel they’d be able to tolerate the nasty criticism they might receive. Of course, this fear isn’t limited to the people who attend my workshops. The wish to avoid criticism, especially for one’s creative output, is universal. I think that there’s a way around it, though. It’s a matter of understanding who these potential critics are. There are always going to be people who just want to bash whatever we might say or do. If we take a minute to look at it, it’s clear that these are nasty, unhappy individuals who have nothing of value to offer us by way of feedback. We can recognize them for the cranks that they are and choose to discount what they’re saying to us or about us. On the other hand, most people are well-meaning. If this type of individual gives us feedback, it will be done with kindness and tact, as their intention is to assist us, not put us on the defensive. As I discussed with my group members, it’s easy to distinguish between useful and useless feedback. We can quickly recognize who are the haters, and simply ignore any feedback that sounds unnecessarily harsh, critical or humiliating. In my own case, I never would have been able to publish my first book if I hadn’t made use of the very helpful comments from the writers, editors and agents who read early drafts of the work. Fortunately, all of these individuals were motivated by the desire to help me produce better work and therefore the feedback they gave was respectful. If you’re worried about putting your art out into the world, understanding the difference between genuine constructive criticism and hateful attacks can allay your fears. You never have to be concerned about the haters out there. Their hostility reveals them for what they are: not those who are ably discerning of quality work but rather, cruel, petty people looking for who they can insult next. As soon as you realize that these critics are hateful, simply close your ears to them, and choose instead, to pay attention to feedback that’s given with kindness.

Confessions of an Over-Saver: Why I Hate Spending Money Karen Mazzola, as told to Alden Wicker Posted on May 31, 2013 Everyone is talking about the crisis among twentysomethings. We don’t save enough. We’re behind on retirement. Our loans are untenable. We have high credit card debt. Not me. I’m a 27-year-old legal consultant in New York City. I don’t make six figures, but I make a comfortable income. And I like saving. A lot. Maybe a little too much. I max out my 401(k), have a robust savings account and no credit card debt, and I paid off $34,000 in student loans in less than a year. Even my parents think I’m an over-saver, and they save a lot. The author, Karen Mazzola at her mother’s wedding, where she wore a dress from Filene’s Basement and made her own bouquet. What Made Me This Way I was raised on Staten Island, New York in a middle class family. My dad was a teacher, and my mom worked for the government. We were generally financially secure, though somewhere below what would be termed “comfortable.” But for some reason, I got it into my head at a young age that we were poorer than we were. It probably had something to do with the fact that both my parents came from poor families. My dad’s parents were both factory workers who lived in Brooklyn in an apartment with no heat. When the factories would close down for a month in the summer, they went on temporary welfare. My mother grew up the oldest girl of seven kids in a two-bedroom house in Queens. She went to Queens College even though she was valedictorian of her class, because it was all her family could afford. I think she’s always regretted that she didn’t go somewhere fancier, so she’s made it her goal to give me and my brother as much as she could. For this reason, she tended to spoil us. I had several dozen Barbies, the Barbie dream house, the Barbie limo, the Barbie yacht (that thing had a working blender on it) and nice clothes. Of course, my mom bought everything on sale whenever she could, because that’s just how we roll in our family. And the rest of her money she saved and put in savings bonds … so she could give it to me and my brother later. (She gave my brother the down payment for his first condo and money for his next home with his wife, the result of saving a little bit of each paycheck since the day he was born.) I walk to work—it takes a half hour each way—rather than spend $2.50 each way on subway fare. That also saved me from getting a gym membership. I saw my parents fight about money a couple of times, and they were separated by the time I was eight. Though I later found out that their divorce was for very different reasons, I think that in my head I at least partly attributed their separation to money, which made me think that more money equaled less discord. How I Got Four Degrees and Owed Just $34,000 My mom had saved money for college, but she thought it made more sense to go to undergrad for free and then go to a good graduate school. I applied to nine schools, got into all nine and I got four merit-based full-ride scholarships. Out of those four, I chose my favorite, the University of Delaware. College was basically free. My full ride came with housing and meals. I usually had some money left over from my book stipend, and I would live on that. I rarely ate outside of my meal plan. I didn’t drink until I was 21. There wasn’t much to do in my college town, and campus events were free or very cheap. I didn’t have a car, so I went to the mall maybe twice. The only thing I paid for was study abroad in Australia (and I went back for free as a teaching assistant the next year) and some summer classes, since I was getting two degrees, in civil engineering and English. After I graduated, I went straight to law school at Cornell. I used all the money my mom had saved for college, and during the summers I worked at a law firm. The rest of my degree I financed with the maximum amount of federal subsidized student loans. My second and third years in law school, I was a residential adviser. I loved being an R.A., but saving $10,000 a year on housing was definitely the impetus. I cooked most of my own food. My budget for going out and eating and drinking was probably less than $50 a month. I still had no car. When I did one more year at NYU to get my master’s in tax law, I lived with my dad in his studio in the city, even though all my friends lived in a dorm by the school. By the time I graduated, I had four degrees and only $34,000 in student loans. The day I graduated from law school in 2011, my mom found out she had breast cancer. I moved back home to live with her on Long Island, and used that time to apply for jobs. I got a job offer in the late fall, right around the time my mom finished with her surgeries and my student loans kicked in. My dad moved to Florida, so I moved back into his apartment in the city. Transitioning to Adulthood—and Saving Even More As soon as I started my job, I maxed out my 401(k) by putting in 21% of every paycheck. I put at least $1,600 (half of my take-home pay) toward my student loans each month – more than four times the minimum payment. My mom put $600 toward paying them off as well. The rest of my paycheck went toward roughly $700 for maintenance on my dad’s apartment, $100 for cable, $50 for utilities, $100 for groceries (vegetarianism and home cooking for the win!), $100 to charity, and a little bit to occasionally go out. I also tried to put money in my savings account, but inevitably took it out to put toward my loans anyway. While it might not be everyone’s idea of fun, I was obsessed with budgeting. Every dollar I spent on things other than loans had a 6.55% surcharge in my mind, because that was the percent I was being charged on my loans. I was really into online calculators and I maintained a massive spreadsheet detailing the principal, daily interest I was paying, and how much I would save overall if I paid off my loans faster. I was spending $5 a day in interest in the beginning, so I balanced this by walking to work—it takes a half hour each way—rather than spend $2.50 each way on subway fare. That also saved me from getting a gym membership and being crushed in rush hour subway traffic. I didn’t go out to eat often, if at all. I never got takeout. When I went drinking with my friends, I only paid in cash because then you can’t get a crazy bill, and you won’t forget your credit card somewhere. When the introductory price ran out on my cable, I cancelled it and switched to a digital antenna and a streaming video subscription. I will not pay retail on clothing—the most I’ve spent on a single piece of clothing this year was $100 on a deeply-discounted coat. I feel like there are two types of shoppers: hunter/gatherers like me, and farmers. The latter like everything in rows, organized by color and size, and they pay full price for the convenience. But I like to hunt for the one perfect piece and I will not spend more than 50% of the original price. My goal is to get 80% to 90% off. To do this, I go to stores like Marshalls and Century 21 (and then head straight to the sale section) or browse eBay and the local thrift stores. I have not taken a single day off work since I started 15 months ago. I reasoned that if I quit or got fired (not likely, but you never know), I would get paid for those vacation days. Each one is worth around $300, so I would think to myself, “Do I want this day off or do I want the $300?” I’m not sure if my bosses have noticed I’ve never taken a vacation day, but they definitely know I’m a saver. At work we generally congregate in the conference room for lunch after everyone gets takeout from various restaurants, but I always bring my lunch. I can’t fathom spending $15 for the convenience of having someone else make a salad for me when I don’t even spend $15 on my whole week of lunches—and they’re healthy (and delicious) lunches with lots of fresh veggies. So yeah, I’m vocal about it. My friends make fun of me sometimes, but in a good-natured way. Many are also recent law school grads, and they have incredible student loans, so they understand. We’ll get dollar pizza and Trader Joe’s wine and play video games at my apartment or go to dive bars. Sometimes they’ll comment on the fact that I’m more frugal than they are even though I no longer have loans and don’t pay full rent, but not in a negative way. I think anyone who would seriously criticize you for not spending as much them is a jerk, and I probably wouldn’t want to be friends with them anyway. Oh, and I never use my credit card. I probably have a terrible credit score, but I won’t need to take out any new loans any time soon. I just really hate paying interest. Bye-Bye, Student Loans I paid off my loans in September, less than a year after they kicked in, saving myself over $11,000 in interest. I switched from playing with loan calculators to retirement calculators (I love online calculators), and maxed out my IRA. I check my net worth every day and examine my spending using an online budgeting tool, like the LearnVest Money Center. In the past, I’ve never had more than $2,000 or $3,000 in the bank because I immediately put it toward my loans. Now I have real money, and I don’t know what to do with it! I’ll probably invest in the stock market or redo the bathroom in my apartment. I do spend a little more than I used to, and I don’t feel as guilty. If I see a piece of clothing I like, I’ll give myself a pep talk. “It’s $30, you like it, and you can afford it.” I still only buy items when they’re on sale, though. I feel like my life is pretty full, though I’m terrible at dating. I like to pay for my own food and drinks on a date, and I’ll think, do I like this guy enough to swipe my Metro Card to get there, pay $20 for food, $10 for drinks, and Metro Card it home? The answer is often no. But for my friends? I’ll pay that much to see them. It’s all about knowing what’s worth it to you. I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true: I’m pretty responsible, but I couldn’t have gotten here without my parents’ help and guidance. I’m incredibly grateful, especially to my mom. You know what my ultimate financial goal is? I hope to someday be rich enough that my mom never has to worry about money again. It’s probably impossible given her nature, but it’s my hope nonetheless. Love reading other people’s financial tales? Check out more great LearnVest-exclusive personal stories.

I was raised to shop. Some people eat their feelings. I spend mine. It started as a fun hobby when I was a little girl, something to do with my mom. And then it became the response to hard times. Whenever I broke up with a boy, my mom took me shopping. (Store of choice? Joyce Leslie–HELLS TO THE YEAH–you KNOW I had ten pairs of stretch-denim capris with different colored belts to match different colored cropped tops.) And guess what. It DID make me feel better. Now, as an adult, I realize I felt better because I was a fifteen-year-old idiot who was getting dumped by boys who “needed to spend more time working on his Camaro,” or “needed to focus on his post-punk-ska-death-pop-techno-grunge band” and so the mere distraction of doing ANYTHING for an hour would help me heal, and it just happened to be shopping. And spending time with my mom, which even as a fifteen-year-old Terrible Human Being (as many of us are at fifteen), I was secretly happy about that. But the seeds were planted there, and still to this day, at 26 years old, I shop away every bad mood, stress, fear, frustration–and yes, joy. You wouldn’t believe my rationalization skills. I can rationalize anything. In my warped little mind, I’m not being an airhead about it, I’m not just mindlessly forgetting to pay my student loans and buying Miu Miu shoes. I’m planning, I’m strategizing. I’m doing math, people. This is where things get embarrassing–I have a notebook that I do said math in. I write how much money I have for the current paycheck, how much I’ll need to spend on bills and such (expenses even I can’t avoid), how much money I’ll have coming in the next week, how much is going out–and so on and so forth for up to three months in advance. Then I’ll be like “Aha! I KNEW there was an extra $400 in there! I can buy this Thakoon dress and be totally fine.” Wouldn’t you know it, my math is never right? $400 disappears over the course of three months, from bills turning out to be higher to your friend’s birthday dinner being a little more expensive than you planned. You can’t budget yourself down to the penny to excuse extravagant purchases. Well, you can’t, but apparently it’s okay for me to do! And cost per wear? I am the queen of cost per wear. It’s almost like I work on commission for places like Bergdorf, Net-A-Porter, Barney’s and Moda Operandi, and my only customer is myself. I can sell myself anything. “That is so statement-making.” “That is so versatile.” Everything in my closet is statement-making or versatile. But, honestly, nothing in my closet is statement-making or versatile. And if I really were an actual queen of cost per wear, I would probably be blackmailed with photos of the things I toss every year that still have the tags on. I once brought five – FIVE – garbage bags stuffed with mostly unworn clothes that had been sadly hanging in my closets at my parents house for years to Buffalo Exchange. They picked like four of the hundreds of things I thought were so very fashionable, and I got about $28.00. What is the cost per wear, you ask of an Alexander Wang dress you buy for $150 (at a sample sale, naturally) and never wear? You guessed it, $150. Amazingly, though, I just thought I was an avid shopper until this year. I really thought it was just an activity I loved doing, like how some people scrapbook (my scrapbook would be pictures of my favorite purchases, especially pride-inducing receipts and shots of me wearing my trophies, framed in glitter and maybe those “You Did It!” stickers they sell for graduations) or bird watch. I started to realize this activity was a bit troublesome in its direct conflict with my saving any money. I am 26 with no savings account. Sometimes I have about $14.00 in savings because I do Bank of America’s Keep the Change program where they round up your debit card purchases to the next dollar and deposit the change – the reason I joined the bank because I thought I’d have a hefty savings by now. And my boyfriend and I are moving – from our piece of ****, falling-apart (literally, the ceiling in the bathroom actually fell on the floor last week) – to a new, still closet-sized apartment in the neighborhood we’ve always wanted to live in. All I had to do was save enough for the deposit and broker’s fee. And I have nothing. Because of the shopping. Whoops. So, yeah, problematic. But, really, I thought it was just a time and money-consuming hobby until all of this moving stress – the only thing I could fathom doing to make myself feel better was shop. Even though my shopping was draining my money, which was the very source of my stress. “How could this possibly make sense to any sane, rational person?” I asked myself. “Oh.” That’s when it hit me. I must not BE a very sane, rational person. One would think I would have noticed any of the many warning signs, but one would be wrong. It might bother a normal human being to have at least three different credit card companies calling you at least six times a day EACH, but that’s what the “ignore” button is for. (Okay, sometimes I like to have a little fun and answer and try to make the person on the other end feel bad about himself or herself.) Another red flag might be the panicked feeling I get when I find something I want and haven’t gotten it yet. I like my gratification instant. When I fall for that 3.1 Phillip Lim jacket, I fall hard and have to have it immediately. All my thoughts revolve around how to obtain it, and I start doing the ridiculous math in my ridiculous notebook. I feel like I have to buy now, deal with the consequences later. It will be easier to deal with the soul-crushing stress and impending-poverty terror when I’m looking SS13-ready in my new jacket. It’s bumming me out, though, that I can’t do adult things I want to do, like get a French bulldog or go on a real vacation because I am a sad fashion hoarder. So, I am making an effort. I am starting to sell the things I truly don’t use on eBay, and plan on only allowing myself to use money I earn from that to shop. Going cold turkey isn’t really an option – I work in fashion, there’s too much temptation AND too much pressure to not be seen wearing anything from the 2010 collections too often – but I figure if I can only buy using resources I’ve obtained from purging, it’s a step in the right direction. My paychecks are now strictly for saving and getting myself out of debt – and hopefully, a French bulldog named Petunia soon. So, do me a favor, friends. If you see me, looking eerily driven and dead behind the eyes, holding a Carven jacket at Barney’s, go ahead and dropkick me. Petunia and I will thank you later. BY: Courtney Iseman

Poor Henry: One Man's Devastating Loss… and How to Avoid It Yourself By Dan Ferris, editor, Extreme Value Wednesday, May 8, 2013 Tubs of Fun is a simple carnival game. You throw a softball into a plastic tub from a few feet away. The object is to make the ball stay in the tub. It sounds easy, but it's not. The ball is too bouncy, and the tub is too hard. It's difficult to keep the ball from bouncing out of the tub. The player has the illusion he's throwing a ball into a container. But he's really just throwing it at a solid wall. To make it worse, the worker running the game lets you take a practice throw. First he drops a softball in the tub, and it stays, because he's standing right next to the tub. Then you throw a softball, and the ball he dropped in absorbs the energy from the one you threw, and your ball stays, too. But when you play for real money, you can only throw the ball into an empty tub. If you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, you won't figure this trick out. But hey, it's a carnival game. Everybody knows you're not supposed to win. Right? Well, no. Not everybody… Enter 30-year-old Henry Gribbohm, a tough-looking, tattooed young man with a toddler to care for and $2,600 in cash burning holes in the pockets of his dusty work pants. On a recent spring day, Gribbohm walked into the Fiesta Shows traveling carnival in Epsom, New Hampshire. He walked out shortly after, his pockets empty, with a large stuffed banana toy with a smiley face and a dreadlocks haircut draped across the top of his toddler's stroller. A news reporter said the funky banana toy was worth $149. Gribbohm watched the worker do his little practice throw routine and didn't figure out the ruse. So Gribbohm played and played… He lost $300 within minutes, all he had in his pockets. He went home and fetched another $2,300, all that remained of his life savings. He returned to the game and lost all that, too. He admitted on camera, "You get caught up in the whole double-or-nothing-I've-got-to-win-my-money-back…" The thing is… many investors are walking in Gribbohm's shoes… They're making exactly the same mistakes… Gribbohm's first mistake was ignorance of the game he was playing. Gribbohm was on a financial mission. He started playing Tubs of Fun to win a Microsoft Xbox Kinect video game device (valued at $100). When his first attempts were unsuccessful, he ran home, got more money, and kept at it. Gribbohm later filed charges against the game owner, alleging fraud. Yes, Henry Gribbohm thinks alleging a carnival game was fixed is a plausible defense for being clueless enough to give $2,600 away voluntarily. He kept plowing money into a carnival game… while being totally ignorant of the fact that carnival games are rigged. You might think Gribbohm is uniquely naive. But millions of investors are just as bad as he is. They have no idea that Wall Street is often about the same as a carnival. Wall Street is in the business of selling stocks and bonds. This business generates billions of dollars in fees. It's a business that allows bankers to drive around in $300,000 cars… afford $10 million homes in the Hamptons… and collect absurd bonuses. That money comes from customers who are encouraged to buy every piece-of-crap security the bankers can come up with. Think about the brokers, lawyers, accountants, and other people you do business with. Always ask what they get out of it. Ask what has to happen for them to make money. When you buy stocks, ask who's selling them, or who has sold you on the idea of buying them. Know the business you're in, and know the businesses you deal with. Gribbohm's second mistake was pursuing easy financial gain. Most people don't understand that easy financial gain is one of the worst things that can happen to them. Ask a lottery winner. According to author Don McNay's book, Life Lessons from the Lottery, the lives of lottery winners are usually a wreck within about five years of winning. Lottery winners get a ton of money they didn't earn without any practice at hanging onto large sums of money. It's really, really hard to do that. It's like ordering a drink at your favorite watering hole and being dropped into a giant vat of beer. Technically speaking, you got what you asked for… just more. More is bad when you're not prepared for it… when you didn't do more to earn it. Aspiring to easy financial gain might be normal, but it's also self-destructive. Gribbohm was trying to win a $100 prize by playing a $2 carnival game. His results speak for themselves. Investors make this same mistake as well. They buy risky options and hot tips from friends in the pursuit of fast, easy gains. They see the stock market as a lottery… rather than a place where one can buy pieces of world-class businesses that they can hold for decades. Gribbohm's next big mistake was giving in to a bias toward action. Nobody likes to sit still. And that's too bad. Famous 17th-century French mathematician and scientist Blaise Pascal said, "All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone." If you search for Gribbohm's picture on Google, you'll see that he's a tough-looking guy. You can imagine him giving in to pressure to "act like a man." Men don't refrain from action. Men act. They take dramatic and constant action. When the going gets tough, the tough get – you get the picture. People think "doing something" is always the answer. Nobody thinks doing nothing is the answer. On the flip side, the actions that keep you from losing your ass at the carnival and in the market will certainly not impress other tough guys, nor attract women looking for tough guys. Taking big risks is more likely to make you feel like a swaggering gambler, someone who's "not afraid to risk it all on a roll of the dice." It'll at least attract a fair amount of attention. Henry Gribbohm got plenty of attention! I've said before that fear is the dominant emotion in the market at all times. When it appears greed has taken over, it's really just the fear of being left out. That fear drives people to constantly seek action. The final mistake Gribbohm made was not knowing how far he was going to go. Gribbohm's story shows you how crazy financial decisions can get, especially when speculating on great financial gain. He lost because he couldn't trust himself. He didn't decide beforehand how he'd behave if presented with a game like Tubs of Fun. What will you do if the stock market falls? What are your goals? I can't really answer any of those questions, but I can tell you what I'll do. I'm a dedicated lifetime buyer of equities. I do what I believe is enough homework to know which stocks to buy and which ones to avoid. Other things being equal, when the market falls, I buy more of what I like, same as I do when chocolate-chip cookies go on sale at the grocery store. I want more cookies, so I like it when my money buys more of them. I like equity returns, too, so I really like it when my dollar buys bigger ones. Every stock investor faces a list of huge unknowns. You're not in control of stock prices or interest rates or tomorrow's headlines. You must make your own behavior in the stock market the most solid, reliable of known entities. You must be in control of yourself. At any point during his incredible losing streak, Gribbohm could have wised up and walked away… but he didn't. Many investors are making the same mistakes he did. If you're one of them, wise up and walk away. And before you come back, make sure you learn the game you're playing. Good investing, Dan Ferris From Dr. Steve Sjuggerud's Daily Wealth FAIR USE NOTICE This may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.