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Everything posted by Theseus

  1. Mosul will be liberated. For the liberation of Mosul they will take a month long break before the next break to take another month long break then come back to hold session for two days and a holiday will be found that never existed and another month long break will happen. Soon they will only work 2 days out of a month and take the rest of the time lounging and smoking hashish out of their hookahs all the while laughing at the fools who bought IQD in Amerikah! No? /s
  2. The ongoing negotiations centered around when the actual sun would set and rise. As these people think the world revolves them. Are ya getting that warm tingly feeling going down your leg? Wait no, I have to change my underwear and pants now. That warm tingly sensation was loss of bladder control.. false alarm. (Actual quote from a CNN talk show host who is known to get tingly sensations down his leg and could be 0bummer's *** lover as much as he dotes on him.)
  3. And they just got rid of the sexy burka costume for halloween!
  4. Most guru's have their heads up their backdoor.
  5. Let them keep quoting in Dinars. It sets the tone for the Iraqi people to think in Dinars not dollars which is what they should be doing anyhow. Think dinars not dollars.
  6. To get to one I guess you have to drop the zeroes, eh? 2+1+7 = 10 Add the zero to 10 and you get 100. Drop the zeroes and voila! 1! Hey don't argue with common core mathematics, it will screw with your mind every time! Okay people living over there in Iraq, do you need a tutor?
  7. Didja vote for Mickey Mouse? Donald Duck? No name? That was three guesses I win!
  8. Sure lets take on a thrid obummer term. It can't be as bad as a first Hitlary term!
  9. They are just going to return the red reset button to her. They claim it doesn't work and need to return it in person.
  10. If you can't make a rhyme Sing it in time and throw it out the window! The window, the second story window!
  11. Lady in red... now how did that song go? Hmm... I just hope I remember where I put those dinars. Ah here they are underneath the 5 foot high pile of dust.
  12. I heard a bank that said there will be a weekend before the RV. And one after. Srs'ly!
  13. Maliki has to be the dumbest person in Iraq. Can't run the government right and can't do political assassination correctly. If you are going to assassinate your opponent, make sure he is dead! Otherwise run away very fast!
  14. Be forever single and just leave em on the dresser the glass will say break in case of luck. Then under that the glass will point at you and say HA HA.
  15. Is that a nuke in your pocket, or you just happy to see me?
  16. I knew a lad who lied ever so bad, He had a name ever so sad he answered to Luigi, At night he would clitter and clack on his keyboard it was he the fake guru seduced For all the sweat and toli he produced could not even be removed by a squeegi
  17. You know that sound that is a rumbling beneath the covers and your wife starts frantically waving her hand in front of her nose exclaiming, "good lord! OMG geeze. For pete's sake" among many other things. It is here, within the bowels that one finds the like of pumper. Their breath the staleness of what has been fermenting for days within the deepest recesses of the bowels only to bloat the inner recesses of these bowels. The bloated pontificates' breath is the foulest smelling of the likes such as the dead and the rotten. The putrification of their words incriminates the rotting of the very innards they have bloviated from to make your wife go off on a tirade waving her hand frantically in front of her face to rid the putrid smell from whence it had come. That is where the likes of gurus can be found.
  18. Yeah take on the company head quarted in some 'stan country over near Afghanistan and Czechoslovakia. Deloitte was good back in the 90's not anymore. Horrible company to work for. Was told I needed permission to leave the site, in America, when I quit. I told them I am not their slave nor are they my parents. Good luck with Deloitte & Touche. They will rip you a new toushy.
  19. Money chunky sound like a new song like Brass Monkey Money chunky chunky! Money Chunky chunky! Or chunky monkey. Just bring out the chinese chicken!
  20. I remember arcades back in the day. They were a money laundering operation back then too!
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