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delta22

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Posts posted by delta22

  1. Chancy news reporting the news that our national news won't.... WHAT A MORON...................................That is right. He is OUR president. Sleep well tonight. Our media is soooooo corrupt!!! When Obama stopped in at Master Lock in Milwaukee, Wisconsin last week, he was walking the plant and stopped to talk with a plant employee and looked up at the banner hanging on the wall and said to the worker and people around him, "It is great to be in a union shop, especially one as old as this union is " - - - - pointing to the banner. He then said, "A Union shop since 1848" - - - and then he went on to talk on what that banner stood for and how important it was to display it and show your union support.The worker then said to Obama that it was the flag of the State of Wisconsin - - which was founded in 1848, and that the shop was Non-Union.This was only reported by a local radio station in Milwaukee (1130AM) and not by the major news networks - - - they didn't want to embarrass this "got no friggin' clue" President!Since they didn't do their job of reporting on this presidential visit, the only way for the news to get around is by us - on the Internet. The White House media said he skipped Wisconsin & just went to Minn & Chicago. Do your job; I just did mine, so voters will know what really happened here and just HOW BRIGHT THIS PRESIDENT REALLY IS !!!??? NOT!!

    • Upvote 13
  2. By now you've gotten more than a few emails about the Farm and Food Stamp Bill. Thanks to conservatives like you, Congress hasn't passed this near-trillion dollar boondoggle yet; and, with continued pressure we may keep this behemoth on the run.

    Unfortunately, with Congress home for the month of August, misleading myths about the Farm and Food Stamp Bill are popping up everywhere.

    >> Cut through the Washington Establishment's spin by reading our Q&A on the Farm Bill.

    Among other things, they're saying it "saves" money (only true if you believe Washington's accounting gimmicks) and contains helpful reforms (adding new programs and subsidies doesn't reform anything). As you spread the word about the need to defeat this bill, you'll need responses to these myths and other big-government arguments.

    >> Use our Q&A to help stop the Farm & Food Stamp Bill.

    Be sure to use the comments section of the post on our site to report any conversations you have about the Farm and Food Stamp Bill, and let us know if there are other specious arguments we need to respond to.

    Thanks for all you do to advance conservative policy,

    Russ-Vought-Signature.jpeg

    Russ Vought

    Political Director

    Heritage Action for America

    • Upvote 1
  3. WHEN I FINISHED READING THIS I GOT SHORT OF BREATH….

    Looking back thru the past 4 years, many "
    Whens
    " pop up. Read them all to better understand where we are going as a country….

    WHEN - he refused to disclose who donated money to his election campaign, as other candidates had done, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he received endorsements from people like Louis Farrakhan, Muramar Kaddafi and Hugo Chavez, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - it was pointed out that he was a total newcomer and had absolutely no experience at anything except community organizing, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he chose friends and acquaintances such as Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn who were revolutionary radicals, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - his voting record in the Illinois Senate and in the U.S. Senate came into question, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he refused to wear a flag lapel pin and did so only after a public outcry, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - people started treating him as a Messiah and children in schools were taught to sing his praises, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he stood with his hands over his groin area for the playing of the National Anthem and Pledge of Allegiance, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he surrounded himself in the White House with advisors who were pro-gun control, pro-abortion, pro-homosexual marriage and wanting to curtail freedom of speech to silence the opposition, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he said he favors sex education in kindergarten, including homosexual indoctrination, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - his personal background was either scrubbed or hidden and nothing could be found about him, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - the place of his birth was called into question, and he refused to produce a birth certificate, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he had an association in Chicago with Tony Rezco - a man of questionable character and who is now in prison and had helped Obama to a sweet deal on the purchase of his home - people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - it became known that George Soros, a multi-billionaire Marxist, spent a ton of money to get him elected, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he started appointing White House Czars that were radicals, revolutionaries, and even avowed Marxist /Communists, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he stood before the Nation and told us that his intentions were to "fundamentally transform this Nation" into something else, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - it became known that he had trained ACORN workers in Chicago and served as an attorney for ACORN, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed cabinet members and several advisers who were tax cheats and socialists, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed a Science Czar, John Holdren, who believes in forced abortions, mass sterilizations and seizing babies from teen mothers, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed Cass Sunstein as Regulatory Czar who believes in "Explicit Consent," harvesting human organs without family consent and allowing animals to be represented in court, while banning all hunting, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed Kevin Jennings, a homosexual and organizer of a group called ***, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network as Safe School Czar and it became known that he had a history of bad advice to teenagers, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed Mark Lloyd as Diversity Czar who believes in curtailing free speech, taking from one and giving to another to spread the wealth, who supports Hugo Chavez, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - Valerie Jarrett, an avowed Socialist, was selected as Obama's Senior White House Advisor, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - Anita Dunn, White House Communications Director, said Mao Tse Tung was her favorite philosopher and the person she turned to most for inspiration, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed Carol Browner, a well known socialist as Global Warming Czar working on Cap and Trade as the nation's largest tax, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he appointed Van Jones, an ex-con and avowed Communist as Green Energy Czar, who since had to resign when this was made known, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - Tom Daschle, Obama's pick for Health and Human Services Secretary could not be confirmed because he was a tax cheat, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - as President of the United States, he bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he traveled around the world criticizing America and never once talking of her greatness, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - his actions concerning the Middle East seemed to support the Palestinians over Israel, our long time ally, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he took American tax dollars to resettle thousands of Palestinians from Gaza to the United States, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he upset the Europeans by removing plans for a missile defense system against the Russians, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he played politics in Afghanistan by not sending troops early-on when the Field Commanders said they were necessary to win, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he started spending us into a debt that was so big we could not pay it off, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he took a huge spending bill under the guise of stimulus and used it to pay off organizations, unions, and individuals that got him elected, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he took over insurance companies, car companies, banks, etc., people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he took away student loans from the banks and put it through the government, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he designed plans to take over the health care system and put it under government control, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he claimed he was a Christian during the election and tapes were later made public that showed Obama speaking to a Muslim group and 'stating' that he was raised a Muslim, was educated as a Muslim, and is still a Muslim, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN - he set into motion a plan to take over the control of all energy in the United States through Cap and Trade, people said it didn't matter.

    WHEN -
    he finally completed his transformation of America into a Socialist State, people woke up--- but it was too late. Add these up one by one and you get a phenomenal score that points to the fact that Barrack Hussein Obama is determined to turn America into a Marxist-Socialist society. All of the items in the preceding paragraphs have been put into place. All can be documented very easily. Before you disavow this do an Internet search. The last paragraph alone is not yet cast in stone. You and I will write that paragraph.

    Will it read as above or will it be a happier ending for most of America?

    Don't just belittle the opposition. Search for the truth. We all need to pull together or watch the demise of a free democratic society. Pray for Americans to seek the truth and take action for it will keep us FREE. Our biggest enemy is not China, Russia, North
    Korea or Iran. Our biggest enemy is a contingent of politicians in Washington, DC . The government will not help, so we need to do it ourselves.

    Question....will you delete this, or pass it on to others who don't know about Obama's actions and plans for the USA , so that they may know how to vote in November, 2012 and the ensuing years?

    It's your decision. I believe it does matter!
    • Upvote 5
  4. A local hunting guide got himself into a pickle.

    His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray.

    “You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!” they asserted.

    “I am!” he said, “but I think we’re in Wyoming now.”

    • Upvote 2
  5. kenyanwonderboy.jpg'The Kenyan Wonder-Boy' calendar in the home of Obama’s Grandmother Sarah

    Barack Obama’s step-grandmother in Kenya, Sarah Oyango Obama, has a 2005 poster calendar on the wall of her home that proclaims “The Kenyan Wonder-Boy in the U.S.: Senator Barrack Obama,” according to a British documentary film.

    A

    by Journeyman Pictures provides a close-up of the calendar, which was made when Obama was an Illinois state senator.

    Mentions of the calendar on the Web date back to 2008, but the documentary film provides an exceptionally clear image of the wall poster.

    Born in Mombasa?

    In the documentary, “Obama’s Kenyan Roots,” Sarah mentions, according to a translation, it was a “happy occasion” for her to “meet her grandson” when Obama came to Kenya for a visit in 1987.

    Much has been made, nevertheless, of a taped transatlantic telephone conversation between a minister in the U.S. and Sarah in 2009 in which the grandmother is purported to have said Barack Obama Jr. was born in Mombasa, Kenya, and she was present at the birth.

    Philip J. Berg, the former Pennsylvania deputy attorney general who was among the first to pursue eligibility claims against Obama in the courts, included a transcript of the tape and sworn affidavits in a filing with the U.S. Supreme Court after lower courts dismissed as frivolous his complaint filed on Aug. 21, 2008, alleging that Obama was born in Mombasa.

    American Christian minister Ron McRae, who described himself in his affidavit as an overseer of the Anabaptist Churches in North America and a “Presiding Elder on the African Presbytery,” conducted the telephone interview with Sarah.

    McCrae, who called from Detroit, said Sara Obama was in a public setting with several hundred people listening to the telephone call on a speakerphone.

    The interpreter was Vitalis Akech Ogombe, the community chairman of Sarah Obama’s village of Kyang’oma Kogelo in Western Kenya, 30 miles west of the Lake Victoria-city of Kisumu.

    “In the ensuing public conversation, I asked Ms. Obama specifically, ‘Were you present when your grandson was born in Kenya?’” McRae testified in his sworn statement. “This was asked to her in translation twice, and both times she replied, “Yes! Yes she was! She was present when Obama was born.”

    Controversy ensues

    Critics pointed out many reasons to be skeptical of the claim, including the possibility something was lost in the translation between an American minister who presupposed Obama was born in Kenya and an elderly African woman who reportedly knows no English.

    Amid cross talk in a combination of English, Swahili and the local Luo tribal dialogue, could she have understood McRae simply to be asking where she was when Barack Obama Jr. was born. Moreover, the critics argue, her interpreter immediately clarified that her famous grandson was born in Hawaii, not Kenya.

    See the clip of the Journeyman Pictures documentary:

    Many versions of the tape posted on the Internet by bloggers who contend it is evidence Obama was born in Kenya are cut off immediately after the point where the grandmother apparently affirms her presence at the birth. The truncated versions leave out the section in which the interpreter insists she actually meant the birth took place in Hawaii.

    In addition, a March 27, 2007, story by Tim Jones published in the Chicago Tribune recounted how Sarah Obama received a letter from Barack Obama Sr. telling of his plan to marry Stanley Ann Dunham.

    Sarah Obama’s husband, Hussein Onyango Obama, was said to be angered by the news.

    Six months later, Jones reported, the Kenyan family received a letter announcing that Barack Obama Jr. had been born on Aug. 4, 1961.

    The Tribune reporter noted an interview with Sarah Obama in which she said she was “so happy to have a grandchild in the United States.”

    Aside from the inference that the grandmother first learned of the birth through a letter, the Kenyan patriarch’s anger over the marriage makes it even more unlikely Ann Dunham would have traveled to Kenya during her pregnancy.

    Sarah Obama, who is not a blood relative of the president, is the third wife of Obama’s paternal grandfather. According to New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, who visited her village during the 2008 presidential campaign, the grandmother is illiterate and does not know when she was born. Several news reports say she was born in 1922.

    The controversy over the tape centers on the interpreter present in Kenya during the interview. At the end of the tape, the interpreter can be clearly heard interjecting repeatedly that the grandmother said Obama was born in Hawaii.

    However, two members of Sarah Obama’s Luo tribe who are fluent in the local Luo dialect, Swahili and English told WND that after carefully listening to the tape, they believe she declared Barack Obama Jr. was born in Mombasa, Kenya, and that she was present at the birth.

    One of Kenyans who listened to the tape for WND has known Sarah Obama personally over many years. He has met with her repeatedly in her home village. The other Kenyan who listened to the tape for WND holds a respected position in the Kenyan government.

    The WND source who knows Sara reported: “I have keenly and attentively listened to the tape over and over again, and I can confirm from Sarah’s own confession that Barack Obama was born in Kenya in her presence.”

    He continued: “She was asked of his actual birthplace, and she affirmed she was actually there, present in person at his birth.”

    He said that while the people in the room with Sarah Obama “tried as much as they could to change the tone of the whole story… to me it seems someone is coaching her from the background and seemingly trying to guide her on what to say.”

    “I have listened to the tape,” he said. “The preacher asked whether Barack Obama was born in Mombasa and the translator asked the same. When she said Mombasa, it was like a surprise and those there thought she could not have meant to say Mombasa.”

    The source said that at that point “they began insisting Hawaii was where Barack Obama was born.”

    Sarah Obama can be heard uttering “Mombasa” in response to McRae’s questions about where Obama was born.

    At the time, Alex Koppelman, the senior editor on Salon.com’s political “War Room” blog jumped into the fray to contend, “No, Obama’s grandmother didn’t say he was born in Kenya.”

    In a column that attacked former CNN host Lou Dobbs and radio talk show host G. Gordon Liddy, Koppelman characterized Sarah Obama’s statement that Obama was born in Mombasa as “a mistake, a confusion in translation” that the family in Kenya attempted to correct, multiple times.

    Dismissing the story a just another “birther myth,” Koppelman explained that “people who believe in a conspiracy theory simply hear what they want to hear.”

    • Upvote 3
  6. The arrival of Hurricane Isaac exactly seven years after Hurricane Katrina blasted New Orleans has some people wondering if there’s more to it than random chance, and suggesting the popular homosexual festival Southern Decadence may be part of a judgment from God.

    “A hurricane hitting a celebration of decadence … twice in seven years. What are the odds?” asks Robin Cox, a lifelong Gulf Coast resident.

    “Does it seem God has it in for New Orleans?” adds Mary Starkey. “Just contemplating why this has happened twice in seven years at exact same time of year.”

    Dating back to 1972, Southern Decadence bills itself today as “one of the largest annual celebrations and festivals in New Orleans, it has become known as the ‘*** Mardi Gras.’”

    One of its promotional websites indicates: “People begin to arrive on the Wednesday before Labor Day, and generally don’t even think about stopping or going home until the following Tuesday. With over 120,000 ***, lesbian, bisexual and transgender participants, and an economic impact estimated to be in excess of $125 million, the city has recognized the festival’s importance with an official proclamation to welcome the event.”

    A Facebook page for Southern Decadence indicates the annual event will still go on this week:

    “OMG! Over 1,000 emails about Decadence!” the page states. “Don’t worry guys. All is set to begin on Thursday, August 30th running through Labor Day, September 3rd for the 41st Southern Decadence. The biggest problem I’m hearing is flight cancellations. I sure hope the airline industry will do their best to get all of you revelers here for this big circuit weekend … We need y’all for its success!”

    The timing of Isaac in relation to Katrina has caught the attention of some Christian pastors, including John McTernan of the Defend and Proclaim the Faith website:

    “Katrina was the greatest natural disaster ever to hit America. Now seven years later, to the day, another hurricane is heading towards this city. The fact the events are seven years apart is very significant as this number is biblically important. It is the number of completion: God created the universe in seven days. The church, city and nation have not repented and the homosexual agenda is far worse than it was in 2005.

    “New Orleans is still hosting Southern Decadence with open homosexuality manifesting in the streets of the city. It could be that God is putting an end to this city and its wickedness. The timing of Hurricane Isaac with Southern Decadence is a sign that God’s patience with America’s sin is coming to an end. … Let’s all watch this very closely, because if New Orleans is destroyed, it is a sure sign that the final judgment for the national sin of America has arrived.”

    Southern Decadence in New Orleans attracts homosexuals from across America and the world.

    Dwight Douville, senior pastor at Calvary Chapel Appleton in Wisconsin, says the anniversary is reminiscent of a disaster cycle proffered by author Jonathan Cahn in the bestselling book, “The Harbinger,” suggesting America is now under focused judgment from God.

    Douville’s church is now researching facts about New Orleans, and says it’s the fourth most dangerous city in the world in which to live with 95 murders per 100,000 people annually, 10 times the national average. In addition to the Southern Decadence event, the church also notes the prevalence of voodoo, illegal drugs and sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS in the region.

    As WND reported in 2005, the catastrophic damage left by Katrina did not stop homosexuals from partying, as less than a week after the disaster, while thousands of citizens were suffering from homelessness, hunger and looting in their flooded city, a group of “gays” marched down Bourbon Street in the Big Easy.

    “It’s New Orleans, man. We’re going to celebrate,” Matt Menold, a 23-year musician wearing a sombrero and a guitar slung on his back, told the Associated Press.

    An account of the small parade on the homosexual news site 365gay.com noted: “It was a scene like something from a Fellini movie. Amid the death, the destruction, and suffering in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina a small parade behind a tattered rainbow flag made its way up Bourbon Street on Sunday.”

    A few days later, other homosexuals gathered in Lafayette, La., to hold what they called the Southern Decadence Parade in Exile.

    Then in October 2005, another hurricane system forced the postponement of another large homosexual event, Florida’s annual Fantasy Fest in Key West.

    “We’ve never had a hurricane interfere with Fantasy Fest, at least as long as I’ve been here,” Harold Wheeler, director of the Monroe County Tourist Development Council for 10 years told the Key West Citizen. “In fact, it’s just the opposite – Fantasy Fest has always been there to open up our season.”

    At least one state senator attributed 2005′s hurricane devastation to the hand of God punishing the U.S. for its national breaking of biblical laws.

    “America has been moving away from God,” said Alabama Sen. Hank Erwin, R-Montevallo. “The Lord is sending appeals to us. As harsh as it may sound, those hurricanes do say that God is real, and we have to realize sin has consequences.”

    • Upvote 2
  7. U WILL LOVE THIS! JUST CLICK ON THE ONE YOU WANT. Each one of these are film clips from old TV shows. Under the video is information, facts and other interesting stuff. 1 JACKIE GLEASON ON THE ROCKY MARCIANO SHOW THE MAIN EVENT (1960)

    Jackie recalls his early days as a night club comic in Newark , NJ (and the brawl);

    also, Jackie receives a humanitarian award from Rocky and salutes sidekick Art Carney ( Du Mont )

    Bloopers from The Honeymooners on OTV ch 11 also ch. 30; Marciano v. Wolcott fight on ch. 64

    2 JAMES DEAN: HIS FINAL TV APPEARANCE (1954)

    Rebellious trait obvious, James Dean talks about car racing and safety on Gig Young's show;

    Walks off set a mention of speeding; eerily, Dean was killed days later in a tragic car collisiom. ( Du Mont )

    3 ELVIS SINGS BLUE SUEDE SHOES (1956)

    The King lives here! Elvis Presley debuts on "The Tommy & Jimmy Dorsey Show." (CBS)

    In the house: Elvis sings many more of his hits on our Classic Oldies Video Juke Box below!

    4 A TRIBUTE TO ELVIS PRESLEY, THE KING OF ROCK & ROLL (1959-62)

    Clips of The King from his early days to induction into the Army, see The King's mom, dad & Col. Tom

    Hear Elvis' first #1 1957 hit for RCA, Heartbreak Hotel. (clips from Movietone & AP News)

    5 THE EDSEL INTRODUCED ON NBC(1957)

    Ford paid the network big dollars (in those days) to run this filmed The Edsel Show promotion.

    Ford canned the car shortly after; it is today a revered automotive classic. (NBC) More 50s cars ch.63v

    6 BOBBY DARIN'S "MACK THE KNIFE" (1959)

    Bobby opened his first of hour variety shows performing his biggest number one hit.

    (and his label, Atco, didn't want him to record it!) (CBS)

    *There's more Bobby below: hosting a beauty contest & on the OldiesTeleVision Video Juke Box.

    7 WESTINGHOUSE DEBUTS HI-TECH "ADVANCED TV" (1951)

    Show the kids hi-tech video blossoming before anyone heard of cable, satellite or HDTV. They may chuckle,

    The "one knob-no antenna-black matrix pix tube" had viewers in awe..but it was a technical disaster. (TVC)

    8 WILLIAM BENDIX AS LOVABLE CHESTER A. RILEY (1956)

    The Life Of Riley with Marjorie Reynolds, Tom D'andrea, Lugene Sanders, Wesley Morgan

    Once played by Groucho Marx & Jackie Gleason, Bendix's Riley was the definitive blue collar family guy.

    Watch Riley, delirious over having his tonsils removed, drive family, Gillis, & hospital nurse (Honeybee) crazy!(CBS)

    9 ICONS I: WHAT MADE 50'S TV GOLDEN (COMPILATION, (1952-60)

    Art Carney, Rod Serling, Manicurist Madge, Ted Mack, Annette & Frankie, The Champs, Don Adams.

    It was Ted Mack's Amateur Hour that introduced Frank Sinatra, Connie Francis, Pat Boone. (UPI)

    10 THE PATTI PAGE SHOW (1958)

    The Singin' Rage sings the immortal Tennessee Waltz, it doesn't get anny better than this.

    Also from her show, Patti croons over that cute little Doggie In The window. (syndicated)

    11 BLOOPERS FROM THE HONEYMOONERS (1957-58)

    On live TV: Audrey misses her entrance cue, Jackie's fly is open (watch how brilliantly he improvs).

    Jackie slips on the set (happened again at CBS, where he broke his leg) ( Du Mont ) see also ch.30 & 82,

    12 THE CENSORED JERRY LEE LEWIS HERE UNCENSORED! (1957-59)

    Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls Of Fire! The' "Killer" smooches his child bride cousin on a filmed news interview

    on stage, he goes wild performing (looks like today's metal rockers). The networks nixed both. (UPI)

    13 A TRUE 50's DOO *** TV CLASSIC(1958)

    Rare Clip: The Del Vikings Perform Jitterbug Mary (taped at WOOK-TV Baltimore)

    *There's many more classic Doo *** Originals On The Classic Oldies Video Jukebox below.

    14 the original FAMILY AFFAIR (1966)

    Brian Keith & Sebastian Cabot sin the last of the sentimental family sitcoms (despite failed 2004 remake_.

    An affluent bachelor and his butler uddenly gain custody of adorable orphaned nieces and nephew (CBS)

    15 ALAN FREED'S BIG BEAT DANCE PARTY DANCERS (1959)

    Local NYC Ch. 5 Freed show regulars dance and post-payola Alan Freed's parting statement (Metromedia);

    plus **** Clark's rigid payola statement to an angry Senate investigator (UPI)

    16 THE STEVE ALLEN SHOW (1957)

    Steverino's classic rock and roll poetic hate reading of Be Bop A Lula, no apology to Gene Vincent.

    Steve snubbed rock, had no rock acts on his show, but then booked them on his shows to get ratings (NBC).

    17 The Inventor Of TV Sketch Comedy ERNIE KOVACS (1954)

    Long before SNL, imitated by his contemporaries (Berle, Gleason, Skelton), he was the true inventor of TV sketch satire.

    Ernie's Kovacs; vignettes could have been taped yesterday~still look contemporary, he was a TV comedy visionary

    There are more Ernie Kovacs comedy innovation in our Oldies Television Trivia Quiz, link below.

    18 THE RED SKELTON SHOW (1959)

    Red as Clem Kaddiddlehoffer going to college, with guests: Reed Haley ("Racket Squad") & Marvin Kaplan ("Meet Millie")

    We included Red's traditional, eye candy June Taylor Dancers' sketch opening and Red laughing at his own jokes (CBS)

    19 ICONS: THE DELINQUENCY RAMPAGE! (COMPILATION, 1957-60)

    Hoods, Dolls, Street Fights, Make Out Points & ...Barry Goldwater. "Cool man. Ya dig it? Like, Wow! Ya square'r sometin?"

    This, kids, was how your parent's parents perceived the next out of control, immoral generation (AIP)

    20 FATHER KNOWS BEST (1953)

    Full Episode of The definitive aspartame family sitcom: Betty & Kathy fued begin over a bathing suit

    Robert Young, Jane Wyatt, Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, Lauren Chapin. (CBS)

    21 PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1962)

    Bea Bernadette and Edgar Buchanan bring up three perky teenage countrypolitan girls in Hooterville,

    at the Shady Rest Hotel; this show was the precursor to Green Acres Toot toot! (CBS)

    22OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST BOB MATTHIAS (1956)

    1952 Olympic Triathalon Champ Discusses The games & movie debut with mild mannered Herb Sheldon.

    Sheldon hosted several shows ranging from talk, to teen dance, to Ricky Tick Piano. ( Du Mont )

    23 : DANCES OF THE 1950's: THE HAND JIVE (1957)

    Teens perform the Hand Jive dance to Johnnie Otis' Willie & The Hand Jive adlib with Rockette precision (DuMont )

    What do Johnny Otis, Grateful Dead, Eric Clapton & Grease have in common? Read how the Jive goes on today.

    24 GROUCHO MARX YOU BET YOUR LIFE (1959)

    Contestants: Then 11 year old Candice Bergen appearing with dad, Edgar; also Groucho's daughter, Melinda.

    Are the dads smarter than the 6th graders? In part 2, Dads join daughters in the quiz. Say the secret word! (NBC)

    25 the original DRAGNET(1959)

    The grandaddy of all TV cop shows and the definitive police melodrama with Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday,

    Ben Alexa nder as Officer Frank Smith. Olan Soule as the lab tech. Just the facts, ma'am. (NBC)

    26 THE IMMORTAL MUSICAL COMEDY OF VICTOR BORGE 1951

    Victor and the symphony orchestra give a new twist to Listz and it is a classic Borge, both a musical & comedy genius.

    Victor Borge's precision piano and satiric talent are as natural as his warmth. (CBS)

    27 EDDIE FISHER SINGS A MEDLEY OF HIS BIGGEST HITS 1953

    Eddie croons I'm Walking Behind You, Anytime, With These Hands, Oh My Papa on his TV show.

    Like the era crooners, Fisher got 15 minutes a week to enthrall fans..and also Liz Taylor & Debbie Reynolds.. (NBC)

    28 ABBOTT & COSTELLO:L WHO'S ON FIRST? 1951

    This is the signature Bud Abbot and Lou Costello comedy routine that is often imitated, never duplicated.

    The duo did hosting stints on The Colegate Comedy Hour and Hollywood Palace . (NBC)

    29 MORE DANCES OF THE 1950's THE JITTERBUG 1958

    It started with Cab Calloway and ended up the most popular moves on American Bandstand, et al.

    Here, it becomes the domain of Bill Haley & The Comets' ripping off Little Richards' "Gonna Rip It Up." (AIP).

    30. THE HONEYMOONERS ...IN COLOR! 1969

    Ralph & Ed are jailed in Paris , accused of counterfeiting. Ed's escape plan backfires with hilarious results.

    Gleason wanted the show taped by Wometco TV in Miami , Audrey Meadows & Joyce Randolph had NYC commitments

    Shiela Macrae & Jane Kean played wives Alice & Trixie; TV audiences didn't accept the change. (CBS)

    31 THE ORIGINAL FLASH GORDON SERIAL theatres-1939; TV-1960's

    Before TJ's doo *** concerts, PBS used Buster Crabbe's Flash Gordon cinema serials rattle the PBS tin cup.

    From Captain Video to Captains Kirk, Picard & Janeway, scifi and space travel was always a TV niche. (PBS)

    32 Full Episode THE LONE RANGER 1955

    Hi Ho, Silver! It's the grandaddy of weekly TV western series starring oft masked Clayton Moore.

    The Lone Ranger was the top rated #1 of the many Saturday afternoon "thataway" exciting oaters

    Here is the full version of the debut episode, Enter The Lone Ranger Hi, Ho Silver! (syndicated).

    33 THE ENDEARING GRIMACES OF EDDIE CANTOR 1952

    Hosting The Colegate Comedy Hour, Eddie pantomines a sketch as the hapless victim of a vixen.

    A forgotten legend, Cantor's expressive face and singing style warmed the cockles of viewer's hearts. (NBC)

    34 BOBBY DARIN NERVOUSLY HOSTS A BEAUTY CONTEST 1957

    Long before having his own weekly show, Bobby's first TV emcee gig, hosting a product hyped beauty pageant

    Uh oh, , what a disaster! The contestant names are mixed up and so are the sponsor's promo lines ( Du Mont )

    35 MORE DANCES OF THE 1950's: THE LINDY HOP 1959

    From American Bandstand in Phillie, to a **** Clark special in St. Louis to The Jersey Shore,

    everybody was Lindy Hopping to Danny & The Juniors "At The Hop" You can swing it, you can do it (ABC)

    ...and there's more Danny & The Juniors, here to stay, on our Classic Oldies Video Jukebox (below)

    36 SHAKE, BABY, SHAKE! IT'S THE KILLER AGAIN! 1958

    Jerry Lee Lewis brings down the house again for his rehearsed fan club prez on **** Clark's show.

    The fireball shooter misses the song cues and a camera catches a guy trying to jump on stage. (ABC)

    37. THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW 1958

    "Make Room For Daddy" with rare Danny Thomas, Marjoriie Lord, Rusty Hammer, Angela Cartright.

    The kids wreak havoc on daddy and mommy with a divide and concur tactic. (CBS)

    Please support St. Jude's Children's Hospital founded by Danny. Help save lives of children with cancer.

    38 SID CAESAR: YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS 1957

    Legendary sketch comedy with co-stars Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner & Howie Morris as "Uncle Goofy"

    doing their classic takeoff on This Is Your Life, also a glimpse of The Timepiece (CBS)

    39 HERE COMES TOBOR! 1954

    Before Captain Video got a hold of Tobor, little Robbie ran the prequel to "Tobor The Great."

    Madison Ave jumped on ship with a cardboard Tobor mask. Don't laugh, they sold. ( Du Mont )

    40 THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN 1954

    After the animation came TV's live Superman series starring George Reeves and Noel Neill as Lois Lane

    Lois gets is abducted by a gangster, Superman sans Clark Kent saves the damsel in distress. (CBS)

    41 THE ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER 1964

    Let's get our minds off killer whales and go back to this beloved, adorable dolphin.

    Each week this amazing mammal fascinated kids and adults by solving mysteries! (synd.)

    42 SPIKE JONES 1951

    Spike & the gang of hilarious musical whackies perform their signature "Cocktails For Two."

    As you see this wild musical circus, know Spike Jones choreographed the zany antics. (Du Mont)

    43 CAPTAIN VIDEO & HIS VIDEO RANGERS 1950

    Before Captain Kirk, there was Captain Video chasing those bad guys around the galaxy.

    The "Star Trek" of it's time, network program directors made the very same mistake. (Du Mont)

    44. THE LIBERACE SHOW 1952

    Walter Liberace brought style to candlelight piano music, with, of course, brother George on violin.

    This rare clip captures the musical heart and soul of the flamboyant pianist. (Du Mont)

    45 MEDIC 1954

    First and still best medical drama series. Richard Boone as Konrad Steiner MD.

    Still as relevant: prizeighter befelled by Diabetes. This is pioneer medical TV drama. (NBC)

    46 THE BIG VALLEY 1965

    Outstanding Western series with Barb ara Stanwyck, Lee Majors and Linda Evans

    Full episode: "Heritage" Fanatics threaten to blow up the Bartley mine (NBC)

    47 THE ROOTS OF TV BASEBALL 1950-57

    Visual newsreel memories of baseball's great early years, featuring a tribute to Jackie Robinson

    So relevant now: Robinson broke the color line in baseball, Obama in the US presidency. (Movietone)

    48 Mc HALE'S NAVY 1962

    Before cracking up Harvey Korman, Tim Conway was sidekick to Ernest Borgnine on this military sitcom

    View a full half hour episode and watch Tim fall (literally) for a Lt. Commander Nurse. (NBC)

    49 HOPALONG CASSIDY 1952

    The Saturday afternoon TV Western staple starring William Boyd as frontier vigilante Hoppy.

    Of the many Saturday TV matinee oaters, this ranked #2 in ratings. Giddyap! (syndicated)

    50 DARK SHADOWS 1966

    The first Weekday afternoon TV gothic soap opera, Jonathan Frid as the Vampire Barnaby Collins.

    For a brief time, this breakthrough gothic drama out-ranked established serial dramas in ratings. (ABC)

    51 FADS & FANCIES OF THE 50s & 60s

    The Hula Hoop, Twist, Palisades Park Beauty Contests, Rock-Ola Juke Box, Ford Thunderbird, more

    set to the music of The Olympics' "Dance By The Light Of The Moon" (edited by CI)

    52 I LOVE LUCY 1952

    Highlights from TV episodes involving the coming of "Little Ricky" that captured viewer's hearts.

    Ricky gets the news during his club performances, he and the Mertzes go frenetic when "it's time".

    Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, William Frawley. (CBS)

    53 full episode THE **** VAN DYKE SHOW 1962

    You asked for it, here it is, **** Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore with guest Bob Crane (Hogan's Heros .

    **** is directing a community theatre show, Mary sings & dances a vampy Calypso song Ohhh, Rob! (CBS)

    54 THE BEATLES FIRST TELEVISION APPEARANCE 1963

    Not yet on Sullivan or in the U.S., the Fab Four debuted "She Loves You" On The Mersey Sound (BBC)

    *There's more Beatles & other British Invasion classics on the Classic Oldies Video Juke Box below.

    55 BAT MASTERSON 1958

    Gene Barry stars as the debonair Bat Masterson, this episode "The Stampete In Tent City

    Guest stars Robert Conrad as the vigilante out to avenge his brother's killer (NBC)

    56 MARTY ROBBINS ON THE JOHNNY CASH SHOW 1964

    Back in the 60's, Holiday Inn funded half hour shows for Dolly Parton, Bobby Vinton & Marty Robbins

    Before his own show aired, Marty sang "El Paso" on Johnny Cash's short lived TV gig (syndicated)

    57 FRANK SINATRA SPEAKS CANDIDLY 1954

    Would you believe, a humble Frank Sinatra? He speaks openly about the bad years,

    gratitude to Bob Hope & his all time favorite movie role (can you guess which one?). (CBS)

    58 PASSWORD 1962

    Allen Ludden hosted this enormously popular game show 1962 to 1971 on all 3 networks & syndication

    Allen vies celebs Carol Burnett and Gary Moore against contestants to win $250-big prize then (CBS)

    59 The Phenomenon STAR TREK TV ON DEMAND 1966-present

    Now you don;'t have to sit up and wait until 3AM when stations run Star Trek episodes. Get them here right now!.

    Watch Full Episodes of Star Trek, Star Trek:The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, Voyager, Enterprise (synd Paramount)

    Also a clip of Trek's post cancellation UK placebo, SPACE:1999 w Martin Landau, Batbara Bain (ITV).

    60 MORE DANCES OF THE 50's: THE SWINGBACK 1958

    New York teens dance The Swingback (also called The Sway) to Duane Eddy's "Forty Miles Of Bad Road"

    The hips swayed and the preachers prayed rock & roll would go away. It didn't. (MGM)

    61 THE LIVE TV FRIDGE COMMERCIAL CATASTROPHE 1954

    Poor Westinghouse. If their built in antenna TV fiasco wasn't enough, more flawed, chagrin causing infamy:

    the automatic referigerator door that jammed on this live nationally broadcast commercial. Bet heads rolled! (CBS)

    62 THE ARTHUR GODFREY SHOW 1957

    He ridiculed sponsors, fired staff on the air, fixed talent contests and made Godlike demands on execs, crew;,

    yet still got big ratings, ruled corporate airwaves and network, sort of like Oprah does now, sans chicanery (CBS)

    63 BUILDING THE 1958 DODGE 1957

    What a retrospect! A TV industrial film goes inside the Dodge automotive plant foundry to finish<.br> In 1979, Chrysler received a government bailout to make new Dodge cars. Sound familiar? (commercial).

    64 FIGHT CLASSIC: ROCKY MARCIANO vs. JERSEY JOE WALCOTT 1952

    Highlights from that historic championship boxing match in Philadelphia September 12, 1952<.br> Of course you'll see that boffo KO comeback in the 13th round~this is the true Rocky, Sly. (DuMont).

    Check out Dynamite Joe Rindone's fights, too, on Oldies Television Ch 79!

    65 AND MORE GREAT ICONS OF THE 50's VOL III 1952-59

    Richard Nixon's first scandal, John Wayne 's PSA, Marilyn Monroe's Motor Oil, Jimmy Durante's Schnozz,

    George Burns & Gracie Allen, Jack Benny & Dennis Day, Laurel & Hardy, Jackie & Art's "Hello, Ball!"

    66 ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1959

    With a "good evening," came melodramatic thrillers from the Master Of Suspense, Alfred Hitchccock

    The man whose big screen movies kept us on the edge of our seats brought the same to small screens (CBS).

    67 SATURDAY NIGHTLIVE~~ BEFORE SNL 1954-58

    All Broadcast Live Sat Eves: The Bob Hope Show, The Liberace Show, The Ken Murray Show,

    Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis, The Steve Allen Show, The Pat Harrington Show, The Jackie Gleason Show

    Sid Cesar's Your Show Of Shows. Watch many surprises with regulars & guests. (ABC-CBS-DuMont-NBC).

    68 FELIX THE CAT 1959

    In 1928, RCA testing Vladimir Zworkyn's iconoscope , Felix The Cat was the first image ever on TV;

    Oldies Television's roster would not be complete without Otto Mesmer's historic cartoon icon.

    Here is his 1959 Saturday cartoon show with a new, hip updated opening that we can just ignore.(NBC).

    69 THE DONNA REED SHOW 1958

    Donna mugs nervously to the camera when daughter, Mary (Shelley Fabares) sings at a school dance.

    The song she sings? "Johnny Angel," of course. Dad (Dr. Stone, Carl Betz) allays Mom's fears.

    Full episode soon and check out the Donna Reed Christmas Show below on ch 79 (NBC)

    70 full episode THE GOLDBERGS 1952

    Gertrude Berg served as executive producer and co-writer as well as star

    of this beloved sitcom about the matriarch (Molly) of a middle class Jewish family.

    Frank Sutton, who would later be Gomer Pyle's Sarge, guest stars in this episode. (synd.)

    71 LUCILLE BALL & CAROL BURNETT 1965

    Two queens of comedy together with Gale Gordon as straight man on "The Lucy Show".

    Lucy wants to join Carol on a trip to Palm Springs, they scheme to fool Boss Mooney. (CBS)

    72 THE LITTLE RASCALS 1955

    The top Saturday morning TV attraction in the 50's was the re-worked MGM "Our Gang Comedies"

    This favorite classic episode has Darla wooing Alfalfa rather than vice versa on Valentine Day.

    Of course, the other guys would throw a hilarious gremlin in Alfalfa's romantic ballad crooning. (synd.)

    73 full episode HIGHWAY PATROL 1956

    Before there was "Book 'em, Dano" in Hawaii, there was "Ten.Four" in California. Brodericj Crawford starred,

    If you think dope smuggling was a thing of the 70's, wait 'til you see this narc bust in the 50's. (ZIV/MGM synd.).

    74 full episode LOST IN SPACE 1966

    Danger Will Robinson! The world's first and last outer space sitcom; today, like "Trek," has fan conventions.

    This episode guest stars Mercedes Mc Cambridge (The Exorcist), here as matriarch of alien hillbillies

    who grow a "Little Shop of Horrors" intruded upon by Dr Snith (Jonathan Harris) and Will (Bill Muny) (ABC)

    75 BEULAH 1951

    Long before The Jeffersons and Sanford & Son even before Amos & Andy on TV.

    there was the talented Ethel Waters as supermaid Beaulah & Butterfly Mc Queen as next door Orio

    Sadly, Proctor & Gamble canceled the highly rated, popular show after only two seasons. Guess why.(CBS)

    76 BEWITCHED 1966

    Wriggle your nose, it's Elizabeth Montgomery as that saucy, sassy, beautiful, bedazzling witch

    and **** York as her befuddled hubbie, Darren (or as Agnes Moorehead would say, "Durwood" (NBC)

    77 I DREAM OF JEANIE 1966

    Out of the bottle comes that lusciously capricious Jeanie, Barb ara Eden (blink-blink).

    Larry Hagman is her adopted master, Bill Daly is the bewildered buddy (CBS).

    78 SEA HUNT 1957

    The "Dragnet" of the ocean floor, Lloyd Bridges fights underwater crime with only a snorkle.

    This syndicated show, along with "Flipper" (coming soon), got high tide ratings in it's era (ZIV)

    79 DYNAMITE JOE RINDONE 1954

    Like Rocky Marciano, Joe Rindone was the son of Italian immigrants who rose to boxing glory.

    Here is Dynamite Joe in action from the era when boxing was true sportsmanship.

    produced by Andrew Bertino. (Vimeo).

    80 THE MILTON BERLE SHOW 1957

    Featuring Arnold Stang & guest Mickey Rooney; Berle's swan song after 8 Tues. Nite Years.

    Bit: Berle wants Gleason like publicity, so he feigns a broken leg for a press conference (NBC)

    81 THE LEGEND OF DOO ***

    That streetcorner harmony from the 50's that will never die, the music we know call Doo ***

    Here are video specials which tribute the unforgettable part of R&R and R&B

    Plus REMEMBERING DOO *** RADIO

    with commentary by Don K. Reed. music by The Crests, Frankie Lymon & The Knockouts.

    82 MIKE WALLACE & EDWARD R. MURROW 1952-54

    If you thought Mike Wallace was tough on "60 Minutes," wait 'til you see him on the fifties!.

    You won't believe what he said to Steve Allen (neither did Allen, most likely), but Kirk Douglas got his say)

    Legendary Edward R. Murrow and Senator Joseph McCarthy go at calling the other "un-American"..(CBS)

    THE PIONEERS OF KIDVID: 1950's CHILDREN'S TV SHOWS

    Howdy Doody, Junior Frolics, Winky Dink, Willie Wonderful, Rocky & Bullwinkle

    With the earliest TV production and animation techniques, these popular programs

    were the father of children's television, long before PBS and Nickelodeon. This was the "kiddievTV" 50's

    Full episodes of these Golden Age first generation shows for tots on separate submenu~click title link

    for March 2010 THE TIME TUNNEL 1965

    Irwin Allen (Lost In Space, Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea produced this sci-fi fantasy series

    This episode: Merlin The Magaician pays the science lab a visit and wreaks havoc with time travel.

    • Upvote 1
  8. Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-10 about 2 miles west of

    the Louisiana / TX state line. When the trooper asked the driver why he

    was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on

    his way to Lake Charles to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't

    want to be late.

    The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if

    the Driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him

    a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't

    have anything to juggle.

    The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could

    juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit

    them and handed them to him.

    While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A

    drunken good old boy from Jasper, TX got out, watched the performance,

    then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The

    trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door

    asking the Drunk what he thought he was doing.

    The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there

    ain't NO way I can pass that test.'

    • Upvote 2
  9. 5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

    For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.)

    There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

    Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.

    Check out the things that you can do with it:

    FIRST (Emergency)

    The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

    SECOND (Locked Keys in Car)Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:

    If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

    Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'

    THIRD (Hidden Battery Power)

    Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.

    FOURTH (How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?)

    To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone:
    *#06#
    . A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

    If your phone is stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

    And Finally....

    FIFTH (Free Directory Service for Cells)

    Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:
    (800) FREE411
    or
    (800) 373-3411
    without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now. This is sponsored by McDonalds.

    This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

    • Upvote 3
  10. The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We

    agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

    --Jay Leno

    America

    needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

    --Jay Leno

    Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?

    A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

    --Conan O'Brien

    Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?

    A: A fund raiser.

    --Jay Leno

    Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

    A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The

    other is for housing prisoners.

    --David Letterman

    Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it

    started to sink, who would be saved?

    A: America

    !

    --Jimmy Fallon

    Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?

    A: Bo has papers.

    --Jimmy Kimmel

    Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers"

    program?

    A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

    --David Letterman

    • Upvote 9
  11. A doctor in Duluth, Minnesota wanted to get

    off work and go hunting, so he

    approached his assistant.

    "Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."

    "Yes, sir!" answers Ole.

    The doctor goes hunting and returns

    the following day and asks: "So, Ole,

    How was your day?"

    Ole told him that he took care of

    three patients. "The first one had a

    headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

    "Bravo, mate, and the second one?"

    asks the doctor.

    "The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir," says Ole.

    "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the Doctor.

    "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens

    and a woman enters.

    Like a flame, she undresses herself,

    taking off everything including

    her panties and lies

    down on the table and shouts:

    ‘HELP ME - I haven't

    seen a man in over two years!!’"

    "Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole,

    What did you do?" asks the doctor.

    J

    "I put drops in her eyes!!"

    .

    You thought I was sending a dirty joke!!

    NOT ME!

    Remember - Keep Smiling

    It makes people wonder

    what you're up to!!

    • Upvote 2
  12. A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane.

    After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail.

    Suddenly, he looks down and he can’t believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up!

    Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver – who by this time is scared out of his wits – yells, “Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?”

    The other guy yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

  13. FRIENDS
    VS
    SOUTHERN FRIENDS

    FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Always bring the food
    .

    FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss
    .

    FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr.and Mrs.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad
    .

    FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Cry with you
    .

    FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave..

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Will spend hours there,talking, laughing, playing dominoes or cards and just being together
    .

    FRIENDS: Know a few things about you
    .

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you
    .

    FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Will kick the rear-ends of the whole crowd that left you
    .

    FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home!'
    .

    FRIENDS: will visit you in the hospital when you're sick

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital and cook for you when you come home

    FRIENDS: have you on speed dial

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: have your number memorized
    .

    FRIENDS: Are for a while.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Are for life
    .

    FRIENDS: Might ignore this.

    SOUTHERN
    FRIENDS: Will forward this to all their Southern Friends and those who once lived in the South!
    • Upvote 3
  14. The economy is so bad that…

    …I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

    …African television stations are now showing ' Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

    …Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can' t afford

    Batteries.

    …I ordered a burger at McDonald' s and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

    …CEO' s are now playing miniature golf.

    …Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    …My ATM gave me an IOU!

    …A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

    …I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

    …I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

    …If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

    …McDonald' s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

    …Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

    …Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

    …My cousin had an exorcism but couldn' t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

    …A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

    …Motel Six won' t leave the light on anymore.

    …A picture is now only worth 200 words.

    …They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

    …When Bill and Hillarious travel together, they now have to share a room.

    …The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    …Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

    And, finally...I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

    • Upvote 4
  15. A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his

    clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde

    walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

    The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for

    me?'

    The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

    She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you

    get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the

    side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel, eagerly pulled him to her and

    happily let him have his way with her.

    Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the

    sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered

    out of the steam room toward him.

    'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man.

    'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

    'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it

    implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him

    over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

    The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a

    smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.

    'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

    'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a

    chance to see all our facilities.'

    'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart

    15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

    • Upvote 1
  16. A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal: Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.... + Tourist: $5.00 + Broiled Missionary : $10.00 + Fried Explorer: $15.00 + Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for the American Politicians?" The cook replied from the kitchen, "Have you ever tried to gut and clean one? They're so full of s hit, it takes all morning."

    • Upvote 1
  17. Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,

    Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.

    There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,

    For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,

    Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

    We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,

    We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn..

    We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,

    And Eddie Fisher married Liz , and no one's seen him since.

    We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee '

    And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,

    And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney .

    And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see

    A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    We fell for Frankie Avalon , Annette was oh, so nice,

    And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

    We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,

    Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,

    And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

    We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,

    And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,

    At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

    For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,

    And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,

    And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Lead.

    And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,

    Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,

    And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

    And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and '***' meant fancy-free,

    And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,

    And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

    And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,

    And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,

    And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

    And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,

    And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

    We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues, We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea

    Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,

    And fish were not called Wanda , and cats were not called Bill.

    And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,

    And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,

    And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

    They send us invitations to join AARP,

    We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

    So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,

    And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.

    And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,

    Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

    If you didn't grow up in the fifty's, you missed the greatest time in history.

  18. http://www.impeachobamacampaign.com/

    http://www.c4strategies.com/articlesofimpeachment.html

    Take the time to sign the Articles of Impeachment and please pass on. God bless the Great Republic. Over 750 000 signatures and Growing Daily

    Resolved, that Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, is impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the following articles of impeachment be exhibited to the United States Senate:

    Articles of impeachment exhibited by the House of Representatives of the United States of America in the name of itself and of the people of the United States of America, against Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America, in maintenance and support of its impeachment against him for high crimes and misdemeanors.

    Article I

    In his conduct while President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has:

    Unlawfully exercised the authority of his office to take private property for public use in violation of the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution, which guarantees to the People that “private property shall not be taken for public use without just compensation,” and without “due process of law”;

    Unlawfully interfered with the management of private companies for the purpose of achieving government control of them, in violation of the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution.

    Unlawfully interfered with the economic rights of the People by imposing unreasonable impairments in the fulfillment of their intended contractual obligations, and their ability to enter into such contracts, and attempting to change our fundamental economic system, where there is no significant or legitimate public purpose to do so.

    <p style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: normal;" class="MsoNormal">In doing this, Barack Hussein Obama has undermined the integrity of his office, has brought disrepute on the Presidency, has betrayed his trust as President, and has acted in a manner subversive of the rule of law and justice, to the manifest injury of the people of the United States.

    Wherefore, Barack Hussein Obama, by such conduct, warrants impeachment and trial, and removal from office and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States.

    Article II

    In his conduct while President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has prevented, obstructed, and impeded the administration of justice, and to that end, through his subordinates and agents, has:

    unlawfully engaged in a conspiracy to suppress evidence of the true place of his birth. This obstruction of justice has resulted in a violation of the Constitutional provision that a President of the United States must be a natural born citizen.

    Unlawfully refused his assent to the Laws of the United States, and exercised false powers of veto that are contrary to Constitution.

    <p style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; line-height: normal;" class="MsoNormal">In all of this, Barack Hussein Obama has undermined the integrity of his office, has brought disrepute on the Presidency, has betrayed his trust as President, and has acted in a manner subversive of the rule of law and justice, to the manifest injury of the people of the United States.

    Wherefore, Barack Hussein Obama, by such conduct, warrants impeachment and trial, and removal from office and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States

    • Upvote 1
  19. I grew up with practical parents. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it... A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

    Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away..

    I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things.. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

    It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy.. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

    But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

    Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return.. So... while we have it..... it's best we love it.... and care for it... and fix it when it's broken......... and heal it when it's sick.

    This is true. for marriage...... and old cars..... and children with bad report cards..... and dogs with bad hips.... and aging parents..... and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

    Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

    There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special........ and so, we keep them close!

    I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper', so I've sent it to the people I think of in the same way... Now it's your turn to send this to those people that are "keepers" in your life. Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Keep them close!

    TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY.

    1.... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation..

    2.... God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

    3.... God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

    4.... God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

    5.... God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

    6.... God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

    7.... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

    8.... God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.

    9.... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation. He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

    10.... God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to, He already knows your decision.

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