delta22

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Some good stuff here. Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The 2005 winners are: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******. 3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose ofgetting laid. 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer. 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you 14. Glibido: All talk and no action. 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-Nilly, adj. impotent. 6. Negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph, v. to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline. 11. ********, n. a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you should read this. The language used is a bit salty, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing. If you don't laugh hysterically at this,....CHECK YOUR PULSE...this is funny....and true. This was sent by a retired dentist. We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works. One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all. Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of **** lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand. At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences ... but Dad always had those piece of **** chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die .... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot. So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day .... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire .... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things: 1 - Three of my teeth seem to have melted. 2 - I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right). 3 - Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think. 4 - My left eye will not open. 5 - My right eye will not close. 6 - The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that. 7 - My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long. 8 - I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???). That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow. Herm

Disappearing car prank. [VIDEO]

Here is a winning strategy that would set Obama and his Cronies way, way back on their heels. If Romney would take this advice, it would clearly send a message to the Republican establishment that conservatives aren’t going to do business as usual any more. It would shake the establishment, and pull together and really energize conservative voters. Here is a little something else this would do…It would shake the Obama campaign to its core. Rather than a leisurely march toward a VP nominee or a surprise VP announcement like we got in 2008, vet the possible VPs NOW and stand ready to announce the running mate in a nationally televised press conference the day after the delegates are in hand. Allen West Vice President Having Congressman West in the VP slot makes him a TRIPLE THREAT and a VP who WILL redefine the role. Triple threat? 1. As the Vice President he would attend to the regular duties and be a heartbeat away from the presidency. 2. Vice President West would also act as a second Secretary of State in difficult diplomatic negotiations. 3. AND…A Vice President West would work in concert with the Secretary of Defense to realign our military and redefine its role. Triple threat. Oh but this is just the START of the strategy!!! As soon as Romney has introduced West as the running mate… ROMNEY WOULD THEN INTRODUCE HIS CHOICE FOR SECRETARY OF STATE!…John Bolton SECRETARY OF STATE As a former Ambassador to the United Nations there is nobody with a better handle on the world’s issues or more familiar with the players. John Bolton is tough, straight forward and not likely to appease ANYONE. Now, you have the nominees on stage, the VP choice and the Secretary of State nominee…Let’s not stop there. Next to walk onto the stage…Sarah Palin Secretary of Energy. Palin’s directive…Set us on the path toward energy independent in 10 years. Anyone more invested in that goal? Anyone who is more knowledgeable or adept? Can you feel the ground starting to shake? Next out of the wings and onto the stage…General David Petraeus Secretary of Defense The nominee for Secretary of Defense. Enter General David Petraeus. As great as he was fighting a PC war, imagine what he’ll be like once he and West have pressed the reset button on our rules of engagement. In Petraeus we will have a Secretary of Defense whose mission will be to win. PERIOD. When our case is just, VICTORY IS NOT A BAD WORD! Oh…but we're not done yet…..Attorney General - Pam Bondi. Bondi is a no nonsense fighter who has taken on the current administration over Obamacare and WILL clean out the corruption rampant in that office today. Okay, where are we? Who is now standing on the stage? The nominees so far are: Allen West, John Bolton, Sarah Palin, General Petreaus and Pam Bondi. How about a Secretary of the Treasury? We would need someone who has worked for YEARS in the tax field who understands the overwhelming burden of tax codes and who has, for years fought to restructure those codes.Michele Bachmann Secretary of the Treasury. By now, fissures should be opening in the ground, rumbling coming from the sky and the faint odor of ozone should be in the air. We will need someone new…someone with new ideas to head up the Fed.Please welcome Ron Paul. Do ya' think he'd kick butt? Do you think the Fed would tremble? You betcha!Governor Bobby Jindal Secretary of the Interior… COME ON DOWN!!!!! And finally…We need someone to head up the Department of Homeland Security. We must have someone who understands the issues we face. Someone who has worked in federal law enforcement. Someone who won’t take any crap from anybody. Please…a round of applause for…! Sheriff Joe Arpaio Department of Homeland Security Never before has a presidential nominee entered the full-on campaign with a fully assembled team. Can you even imagine the shock-and-awe wave which would be sent through the Obama regime were the Romney to do this? Think about it. Instead of just Romney against Obama we would have: Allen West vs. Joe Biden John Bolton vs. Hillarious Clinton Sarah Palin vs. Stephen Chu General Petraeus vs. Leon Panetta Pam Bondi vs. Eric Holder Michele Bachmann vs. Tim Geithner Ron Paul vs. Ben Bernanke Bobby Jindal vs. Ken Salazar Sheriff Joe Arpaio vs. Janet Napolitano. **Think about that!** Let that sink in…all of them campaigning at once. There would be no way out for Obama as each and every key player on his team would be exposed and held to account from the word GO. It’s bold, brash and completely against any business as usual strategy. Imagine! An entire assembled team of key cabinet positions. Each one a pit-bull on a T-Bone, hammering their liberal counterparts on every issue, every day, from the word GO until November 6th, 2012.

OUT F__KING STANDING!!!! I love it.

Please be forewarned the links in the following report may contain offensive language. . Black mob violence against “***” people is a perfect storm of three secret worlds: Newspapers do not report the predators, victims do not report the crimes and being “***” is “about the worst thing you can be in black culture,” CNN anchor Don Lemon told the New York Times. That is why a growing number of people – black and white, “***” and straight – say this violence is more widespread and less reported than most people think. So let’s start the reporting, beginning with the benign and working toward the violent. Sometimes the homophobia is just talk. Black people voted overwhelmingly against “***” rights initiatives in California and North Carolina. “***” writer Dan Savage belled the cat: “I’m done pretending that the handful of racist *** white men out there … are a bigger problem for African Americans, *** and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for *** Americans, whatever their color.” Convoluted? Yes. But in the hyper-sensitive environs of the politically correct, this was a shot heard round the world. Black antipathy toward “***” people is featured in the work of the most popular black hip hop performers. Comments from superstar 50 Cent represent hundreds of articles and videos old and new easily found on the Internet: “I ain’t into f——. I don’t like *** people around me, because I’m not comfortable with what their thoughts are.” Talking is one thing. Violence another. And more people are finding it harder to ignore the “anti-*** violence that plagues the black community,” says a headline for an article by Kenyon Farrow in The Grio, a black news website produced by NBC News. “Incidents in the black community usually receive little or no attention, we have our own problems with homophobic violence here in the U.S.” The most visible recent case of black mob violence against a “***” person happened in Atlanta. A “***” man goes into a store, comes out and finds a dozen men taunting him with anti-”***” epithets. Then they beat him. They threw a tire at him. All on video with commentary featuring lots of laughing. He did not report the crime until the video of his beating went viral. Newspapers in Atlanta – and the rest of the country – are getting more and more perplexed about what to do with citizen reporters not trained to ignore racial violence. Such was the case when hundreds of black people raged through a crowd at an outdoor summer movie festival in an Atlanta “***” neighborhood. One witness was so unhappy at the newspaper’s lack of coverage, he reported it himself on YouTube. “What happened last night (June 3) at Screen on the Green was not simply ‘fights’ between unruly teens as the local TV stations would like their audiences to believe. These savages went ape—- and hunted down ‘gays’ and lesbians to attack!” the report said. “They specifically began targeting members of the LGBT community around Blake’s and along 10th St. The local news media is acting as if this were a simple scuffle and that’s totally unacceptable. “It was like a riot in a third world country,” the report said. At least one other article about the widespread black-on-”***” violence appeared in the local “***” paper. According to Jesse Rhodes, a “***” person: “We felt like sitting ducks. They were definitely targeting *** people. One of my good friends, who is *** and works at Swinging Richards, got jumped by five people and beat up. Rhodes added, according to the article, that when he was walking out of the park he was called ‘f—–’ and other obscenities and said women at the event were also called lesbians. The next day, Atlanta police said they had no reports of any anti-”***” violence and very little information about violence of any kind at the festival. Let’s move over to Chicago: Ground Zero for racial violence and denial. Boys Town in Chicago is a “***” neighborhood. Also called Streeterville, this usually tranquil and “eclectic” (that’s the journalistic code word for “***”) area saw more than its share of black racial violence in the summer of 2011. In July 2011, a man spilled a drink on another man, accidentally. The man who got wet was part of a large gang of black people. The soon-to-be-victim was a beautician walking with his boyfriend. He got stabbed and beat up. It’s on video. Let’s go to the local ABC affiliate: “It was an obvious mob mentality. You saw people cheering it on. People running in to give one quick jab or kick and then back out and cheering them on. It’s scary,” Sall said. Though unrelated, residents say this is the third stabbing in the area in recent weeks. The last one happened five days ago, just one block north, when a man was robbed in a 7-Eleven parking lot at Halsted and Roscoe. Residents say the problems are due to large groups of people from outside the neighborhood loitering in the area. Alderman Tom Tunney, 44th Ward, said Monday night that this is a subject that has been coming up for the last couple of years. “There tends to be large groups of minority youths on Halsted.” Lots of episodes over a long period of time? Third stabbing in a few weeks? No one knew about the racial violence. No one knew about the “***” bashing until this alderman revealed it almost by accident. In June 2011, Chicago police arrested several black men for a series of four attacks and robberies in the same neighborhood. Any distinguishing features of the victims or assailants? You could not tell if you only listened to this account. But the people arrested were black. At least one of the victims was “***.” And everyone was a lot happier not talking about it. Except for this dude, a local “***” resident who says the problem of violence and lawlessness is reaching epidemic levels. “A rash of violent crime by black youth in Chicago’s predominately *** and white Lakeview neighborhood (aka, Boystown) has residents on edge, and sparking age old tensions between Blacks and the White GBLT community,” said one video blogger. “It’s been going on for a couple of years. People are getting very, very frightened.” The blogger says white people are afraid to mention the race or their attackers, for fear of being labeled a racist. “But if it’s true it’s true,” he said. In July, 100 black people pelted cars outside of a “***” club with bottles and rocks. When police were slow to respond, one man accused them of being racist because they would not arrest the black law breakers. Even the Chicago Sun-Times is getting religion. Kind of. After a series of violent episodes in Streeterville, some on video, the outcry against black-mob-on-”***” violence is rising even above the fear of being called a racist. The police and politicians don’t talk about it, but drug dealing, gang activity, prostitution and muggings are not uncommon. They also don’t want to talk about the fact that many of the perpetrators are people of color. People of color? Indians? Native Americans? Asians? Even the bravest in this crowd just cannot make themselves think the unthinkable: This is racial violence from groups of black people on “***” people. Some in Boystown have even set up their own Facebook page to fight the violence. Robberies here are up 23 percent over last year and 118 percent over 2010. This page carries an exhaustive list of criminal activity. And page members do not try to cover up who is responsible for the epidemic of criminal activity. The page owners spend a lot of time fending off accusations they are racist. Few on either side waste any time denying the racial reality of the crimes. Some say noticing it or talking about it is racist. These same people say police are harassing these young men. Lots of random violence on video as well. Down the road in Normal, Ill., Eric Unger was recently walking the bucolic campus of Illinois State University when six to 10 black people unleashed a torrent of “***” slurs and attacked him. He woke up with a broken jaw and a police department curiously unwilling to call this a hate crime on racial or sexual grounds. In Brooklyn, a group of black men did not like the way Barrie Shortell looked. So they called him some anti-”***” names, chased him, beat him badly, breaking his jaw and other bones. The story didn’t say who did it. But the commenters did. They were not happy. In June, a few blocks away, a 7th grade student was taunted for being “***” and beaten over a period of time until finally, one of the beatings resulted in blindness in one eye, reported The Grio. Despite the fact that those who assaulted him were black, one of the posters to the website was adamant that race had nothing to do with it: “These are the types of trumped up unprovoked attacks that racist trolls on this site are attempting to instigate.” They were referring to a series of stories in WND on racial violence that someone had posted on TheGrio.com – which were later removed. Here’s a two-fer: Two crimes on one video. The title of this New York charged with hate crimes. One of the attacks featured a gang of black people targeting a “***” man at an upscale mall. Like many attacks of this nature, the two people who were charged were just a fraction of the total number present. The nation’s capital has seen several examples of black mob on “***” violence this year. In July, a yoga instructor and his boyfriend were ambushed returning home. One jaw broken. The attack on these two men came four months after an almost identical episode where “another 29-year-old *** man suffered a broken jaw and other serious injuries from an attack by at least four assailants who shouted anti-*** names at him.” The Washington Post and other local media do not identify the attackers by race. The local “***” paper did. A few miles away, in June, three black people were accused of hurling anti-”***” slurs at a “***” teenager, then holding him down while they stabbed him. Then it got really strange in the reader comments section: “I can’t understand why they are angry – did the guy ask them for sex?,” said black commenter Debra Winfield. “Stupid people do stupid things.” Other readers excoriated her for blaming the victim. Winfield doubled down, saying they were stupid. Over at the Washington Post in a report on the same story, one “***” commenter summed it up and said what the paper would not: The level of homophobia within the black community is overwhelming, and in a most calculated way, they spin it to blame gays, when they themselves are voting against LGBT rights at best, and ATTACKING gays at worse. Time to confront the elephant in the room and stop being so politically correct. Black homophobia is celebrated in the black community and no longer does the LGBT community have to stand for it. We’ll see. Up the road a bit in Boston, in April 2012, several black men attacked a “***” guy then tried to pull him off the local subway. Yes, there were all the requisite racial and sexual slurs In Asheville, N.C., a man was beaten and called “***” slurs. And the guy was not even “***.” “He was treated for broken facial bones,” said the paper. The officer failed to file a report. Nothing to see here folks. The list lengthens. Openly “***” Matthew McLeod was on his way to his job as a hair dresser in St. Louis when six black people called him “f—–” before the Knockout Game began. He got off with a broken nose and a black eye. In January of this year, Nihan Thai was walking through his “eclectic” Seattle neighborhood when several black people assaulted him. The openly “***” man visited his neighbors to talk about an epidemic of violent crime in their neighborhood. According to KING-TV in Seattle: The robberies continued and Thai found himself becoming someone he’d never expected – a community activist. He kept hearing crime was down in Seattle – robberies had fallen three percent in 2011 –but it sure didn’t feel that way. Thai started visiting his neighbors, they had a lot to say, and soon he realized he was doing his own crime survey. Thai knocked on 49 doors. 32 people were home. How many of them had been victims of a crime since moving to the neighborhood? All but three. Many victims told Thai they’d never reported the crimes to police. “It happens to them so often that after 2 or 3 times they stopped reporting because they didn’t see any progress,” said Thai One of the people he talked to was Danny Vega, also “***.” Soon after, three black men killed Vega. The 10th such attack in that area in two months, all near the corner of Martin Luther King Way and Othello Street. All of the suspects in all of the crimes are black. Police released a video of three black men who are “persons of interest.” Let’s finish up in Dallas. Starting with the police report: On March 13, 2012, at about 2:00 a.m. two citizens were walking near the corner of Audelia Road and Forest Lane. A dark colored 4 door vehicle (possibly a Buick) with tinted windows and 24 inch rims approached the two individuals and suspects from within the vehicle began to shout slurs that were disparaging and derogatory toward sexual orientation. There were believed to be 5 black male suspects in their 20s inside the vehicle. Some of the suspects exited the vehicle, and two of them were brandishing baseball bats. The suspects attacked the two victims causing multiple injuries requiring medical treatment. They called them sissies. While trying to defend themselves, one of the victims got caught in the car door. The car dragged him until he found a way to free himself. No one died. Reporters note: As part of the research for this story, I sent an email to 350 reporters who were self-identified as “***” or as covering “***” issues. I told them about the story of black-mob-on-”***” violence and sent them a link as an example. I asked them if they knew of any black-on-”***” violence. Not one “***” reporter said he knew of even one example.

In a radio interview today, comic legend Jackie Mason slammed President Obama for his campaign’s recent announcement of a potential second term to visit Israel, asking “Did he just buy a map a week ago?” Mason, who bills himself as “The Ultimate Jew,” took issue with Obama failing to visit Israel during his first term despite overwhelming Jewish support for his 2008 presidential election. . Mason was speaking today on “Aaron Klein Investigative Radio” on New York’s WABC Radio. Stated Mason: “What I would like to know is this: Why does it take five years to find out that Israel is there? Did he just buy a map a week ago? He didn’t know that Israel exists until two hours ago?” The stand up continued: “Can someone answer this question? The Jews gave him 78 percent of their vote. They went everywhere to help him but he can’t go across the street to help them? He is in Egypt and in Lebanon and every country around there within a block and a half of Israel. And he couldn’t cross the street to say hello to them?” Mason said the Obama campaign’s announcement last week of a second term visit to Israel sends a message to Jewish voters that “they don’t deserve [a visit] unless they send him another 78 million dollars and give them another 78 percent of the vote.” The campaign announced that potential visit amid heavy GOP criticism for the president’s not going to the Jewish state during his first term. As a presidential candidate, Obama visited Israel in July 2008. In 2009, Obama addressed the Arab world from Egypt and then traveled to Saudi Arabia but did not stop in Israel during his only Mideast tour as president. Mitt Romney visited Israel last week.

“There’s a move afoot to change life in America into a totally European – I’ve heard that so much I’m getting sick of it: ‘European’ – socialist thing,” says country-music legend Charlie Daniels, “but it’s the dag-blamed truth [sic], and it don’t work, it never has worked, and if America goes that way, America will never be America again.” Daniels told WND in an exclusive interview that he expects 2012, with the nation’s very identity on the line, will be “the biggest election we have ever had.” . “In my 75 years on Earth, it’s never been as clear-cut as it is now,” Daniels said. “We’re either going to go into socialism, where part of the people work and the rest of them don’t, and the ones that do will be taxed to death, or – I got the point where I don’t trust politicians anymore, but hopefully – the other side represents, ‘Let’s put America back to work; let’s re-instill the work ethic back in people.’” Since the 1950s Daniels has been a country singer and famed fiddler, perhaps best known for his hit song “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” He was inducted into the Grand Ole Opry in 2008. But he also writes frequently on culture and politics, no stranger to bold statements in defense of God and country, and maintains a “soapbox” blog on his website, CharlieDaniels.com. For Daniels, the word “socialism” – synonymous in his mind with the big-spending, tax-the-rich, government-welfare, spread-the-wealth policies of President Obama and his fellow “progressives” – is a system not only destined for failure, but also inherently tyrannical. “You cannot enforce socialism without some force,” Daniels told WND. “It’s a very top-heavy society, and every society that’s ever tried it has fallen, because you finally get to where there’s so many people, you cut out the work ethic, you make people think they have to be dependent on government for everything. It’s a mindset.” Daniels brought up the recent controversy about Chick-fil-A restaurants – in which the Democrat mayors of Chicago and Boston threatened to ban the chicken sandwich makers from their respective cities because the owner is an outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage – as an example. “To me that tips off where these guys are coming from: ‘If you don’t agree with us, we don’t want you in our town, we don’t want you in our country, we don’t want you in our political system,’” Daniels said. “Is it not downright un-American for an elected official to stand up and try to destroy a business? As bad as we need jobs in this country? “This is not about ‘***’ marriage; this is about America being America, about people being able to stick by their deeply held religious beliefs and not to have these people trying to put them out of business,” Daniels said. “That’s what this boils down to: Are these people going to try to shut up everybody who doesn’t agree with them?” Daniels told WND there have been a few people who have tried to silence him, too, to tell him to stick to his music and leave politics alone. “People say, ‘Shut up and sing.’ Somebody said that,” Daniels said. “But shut up for what? Why don’t you shut up? What do you do? You do something else. You’re a private citizen. Do you think you should shut up? I’m speaking as a private citizen, so I think I have a perfect right to do that.” And what about the owner of Chick-fil-A Dan Cathy and other Christians like him who are told to leave their religious beliefs out of the public and political sphere? “That’s a bunch of junk,” Daniels said. “They need to stand up for what they believe in.” Daniels’ fierce defense of free speech goes hand in hand with what he sees as the solution to America’s economic woes: not some new “socialist” program from Congress that leaves people looking to Washington, D.C. for answers, but a grassroots solution of small businesses, work ethic and a capitalist revival of the American dream. “You’re talking to a guy who travels coast to coast and border to border every year,” Daniels told WND. “There are bad things going on in this country. Too many empty storefronts, too many closed down businesses – the ‘economic recovery’ Obama has been spinning is not happening. The only answer [socialists] seem to have for it is to try over and over again. Look at the results. Look at the results of throwing money down a black hole in Washington. “We change the nation by putting people back to work again,” Daniels proffered. “I’m a Christian; I believe in helping people who can’t help themselves. I do not believe in helping people who can help themselves. Instead of putting them on the dole, put them on the payroll. “I heard a while ago that more people file for disability than file to get a job. Where in the heck is that at?” Daniels asked. “Is that America? Is that what made America great? “We need to get people back, to employ them,” Daniels concluded, “and it’s never going to be done in Washington. It’s going to have to be done in the private secto

My Dear Smee2 yes sarcasm was the intent:lol: But somehow it went sideways.

Abner ,while I agree with your acessment about the reason's and could go in depth with you ,I won't .Please notice the title said Terrorist ,not all Muslims. And yes God did provide an off switch,which is delivered from the business end of a rifle or the bomb bay of a plane. I have spent years providing an off switch and guess what,I sleep great.

By Michael Thompson Think the economy is doing just fine? And that taxpayers are happy trusting government to address problems? . Residents of the Atlanta area have spoken loudly on such issues with this week’s overwhelming rejection of a proposed 1 percent sales tax – a plan that in booming economic times might not even have been noticed. The proposal was for the sales tax in the 10-county metro Atlanta area to raise some $7.2 billion to pay for 157 transportation projects designed to make it easier to get around. But all 10 counties rejected the idea, finishing with a margin of 63 percent opposed to the Transportation Investment Act, with only 37 percent in favor. Barbara Payne, executive director of the Fulton County Taxpayers Foundation, told WND the idea was a “poorly constructed plan put forth by elected officials who weren’t qualified to address the concerns of the entire region.” One of the projects that would have been funded was the Atlanta Beltline project, which would have impacted only residents of the city of Atlanta. A whopping $602 million, some 8 percent of the total taxes, would have gone to fund it. The tax was up for a vote in Cherokee, Clayton, Cobb, DeKalb, Douglas, Fayette, Fulton, Gwinnett, Henry and Rockdale counties. “We don’t need metro counties paying for people in Atlanta to feel good about themselves by riding the Beltline,” Payne told WND. “Let this send a message,” Debbie Dooley told the Atlanta Journal Constitution. “We the people, you have to earn our trust before asking for more money.” Dooley is a tea party leader who organized opposition to the tax plan. WND reported the Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority (MARTA) system stood to get some $1.3 billion. But MARTA currently only serves DeKalb and Fulton counties, meaning that nearly $2 billion of the $7.2 billion in tax revenue would have gone to improving the transportation in only two counties. The Atlanta Journal Constitution broke down the voting by county, showing that the predominantly Republican-leaning metro counties soundly rejected the tax increase: Fayette County 76 percent to 24 percent; Cherokee County 79-21; Douglas 68-32; Cobb 69-31; Rockdale 70-30; Clayton 54-46; Henry 71- 29; Gwinnett 71-29; DeKalb 51-49; and Fulton 51-49. “I was surprised that it failed in every county, but the fact is the citizens of these 10 metro Atlanta counties aren’t interested in tax increases right now,” Payne said. The taxpayer dissatisfaction also was reflected in a vote by residents of Brookhaven to follow the lead of Sandy Springs, Dunwood, Johns Creek, Milton and Chattahoochee Hills to incorporate. According to a report from WSB-TV in Atlanta, residents want more local control of government services and greater efficiency. So Brookhaven residents have voted to join a growing trend in Atlanta-area cities that are breaking free of fiscal mismanagement and elected officials who aren’t accountable to citizens. WND CEO Joseph Farah wrote a column July 5 praising the city of Sandy Springs, which incorporated in 2005 and has successfully privatized services by outsourcing virtually every government position to contractors. Brookhaven residents’ decision to demand more government accountability by voting to incorporate is a trend that will only grow across the nation, **** Williams, host of “The Georgia Gang” political show on WAGA-TV in Atlanta, told WND. “What they want and what they are getting from their county (DeKalb County) are two different things,” he said. “With public services not working and the roads not being fixed, folks are tired of waiting for counties to do the right thing.” With the success of Sandy Springs, Johns Creek and Dunwoody, residents of other unincorporated neighborhoods of Fulton and DeKalb County are becoming more cognizant of the problems of non-localized government that isn’t accountable, Williams said. “It’s been building since the housing problem [of 2008], the economic downturn, and job loss in the area. The more people are not being able to bounce back, the more people become aware that they want to become involved in government to see where their taxes are going. “The counties cannot govern urban areas. The counties can run courts, libraries, jail, but they can’t deliver services to residents, which is one of the driving forces behind this move to incorporate and outsource government for greater efficiency and accountability,” said Williams. He added, “I hope this is the wave of the future. I say that because, with five years of experience with five new cities, not one has raised taxes despite the worst [sustained] economic downturn since the Great Depression and each of the new cities operates at a surplus.” One aspect in the bid to create new, more efficiently run cities has many people taking notice. USA Today leveled a veiled charge of racism against Brookhaven, Sandy Springs, Dunwoody and Johns Creek. “Cityhood is a contentious issue in metropolitan Atlanta, one rooted in and shaped by politics and race,” the paper said. “Wealthier, largely white communities on the city’s north side, which watched for years as their tax dollars were spent in poorer, mostly minority areas elsewhere in the two counties, had sought for years to break away and incorporate as cities with more local control.” Williams asserted it’s “not the racial angle that drives it, it’s the delivery of services or the neglect of services that is compelling the citizens of these cities the USA Today attacked to make a move for more localized control of our tax dollars, so that we actually get a return on our investment in the community.” WND acquired the breakdown of 2012 employment for Fulton County and found that of the 4,851 full time county employees, 3,980 of them are black (82 percent). Fulton County has a population that is only 47 percent black. Of the 916 county employees who are classified as “other than full-time employees,” 787 are black (85 percent). A quick breakdown of certain departments shows a trend of exclusion in Fulton County public jobs, with 86 percent of the Arts and Culture Department personnel black; 93 percent of 140 people in the Behavioral Health Department black; 81 percent of the 98 people in the County Managers Department black; 90 percent of the 65 people in the Emergency Services black; 89 percent of the 118 in the Finance Department black; of the 353 in the Health and Wellness Department, 306 are black; of the 37 people in the Purchasing Department, 100 percent are black; of the 19 in the Registrations and Elections Department, 100 percent are black; of the 150 employed in the Tax Assessor Department, 84 percent are black; of the 185 employed in the Tax Commissioner Department, 94 percent are black. “The city of Dunwoody has seven employees, plus 45 police. All the other services are contracted out, whether that be for zoning, finance, development, or purchasing. As opposed to having huge pension problems, the city has the cops on 401k’s,” said Williams. In 2011, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported the Georgia Legislative Black Caucus filed a lawsuit against the state of Georgia seeking to dissolve the city charters of Dunwoody, Sandy Springs, Johns Creek, Milton and Chattahoochee Hills. The lawsuit claimed, the paper reported, that the state “circumvented the normal legislative process and set aside its own criteria when creating the ‘super-majority white’ cities within Fulton and DeKalb counties.” As a result, according to the lawsuit, minority votes in those areas are diluted, violating the Voting Rights Act of 1965 and the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments to the Constitution. Williams said the “point of these cities moving to incorporate is simply this: Brookhaven doesn’t have a single DeKalb County elected official living within its boundaries. A city council member now in Brookhaven will represent a district of 10,000 people, meaning they’ll probably know their council member.” “Government should be localized and accountable, and it looks like Sandy Springs, Dunwoody, Johns Creek, and hopefully Brookhaven are providing a way to restore that type of control to cities tired of seeing tax revenue exported to another part of the county. It’s a model that will be replicated nationwide,” said Williams.

A human rights organization is issuing an alarm over the number of Christians who have been locked up in Eritrea, where government officials have given them the ultimatum, “Renounce your faith or stay in prison.” Citing data from the U.S. State Department, International Christian Concern says Christians have been arrested and held without charge, and conditions are deteriorating. . Sources report more than 3,000 have been put behind bars, the report said. “According to the report by the United States State Department released yesterday, the government of Eritrea ‘demonstrated a trend toward deterioration in respect for religious freedom,’” the ICC report said. The State Department also said the Eritrean government “subjected religious prisoners to harsh conditions and held them for long periods of time without due process.” International Christian human rights group Christian Solidarity International documents Eritrea’s incarceration rate in a separate report. “There are 20,000 people imprisoned in Eritrea – often referred to as the North Korea of Africa,” the report said. Christians are a large part of the prison population, and they often are held without due process, according to the report. “Between 2,000 and 3,000 of them are Christians, imprisoned in inhumane conditions – without trial or charge – in detention centers where torture is rife,” CSI said. “Thousands of Eritreans flee every year, risking the government’s shoot-to-kill border policy in appalling bids for freedom.” The report continued: “Even if they manage to escape, as refugees they often face desperate and dangerous conditions, as well as the threat of kidnap, torture and forcible organ harvesting by Bedouin people traffickers in the Sinai.” Jonathan Racho, the Middle East analyst for ICC, said the reason for the government’s action isn’t complicated. “Their goal is to get the Christians to renounce their faith,” Racho said. The government, he said, is communist and doesn’t like competition. “The communist officials are enraged to see millions of Eritreans worship God instead of worshiping communism,” Racho said. He said the best thing Christians can do is pray, then act. “ICC is alarmed by this latest report about the Christians in Eritrea. It is high time for the international community to pressure Eritrea to release the prisoners,” he said. Eritrea occupies slightly more than 115,000 square miles along the Red Sea on the northern edge of Ethiopia. The CIA Fact Book says the country has a “transitional government,” and a legislature that is made up “entirely of the People’s Front for Democracy and Justice or PFDJ.” WND reported in December 2009 that the Eritrean government arrested 30 women members of a faith mission and detained them in shipping containers fo

School officials in Miami have called off their effort to terminate a church’s agreement to lease school facilities after determining that the pastor’s expression of biblical beliefs was within the Constitution. “The school district acknowledges the constitutional right of all persons to express themselves freely. Our firm belief is that, under the law, constitutionally protected freedom of speech for all, including those who lease our facilities, must be observed even when it may be perceived as offensive to some,” said a report from Supt. Alberto Carvalho to the school board. .The issue arose when Impact Miami Church Pastor Jack Hakimian preached on the biblical position on homosexuality: It’s a sin. The Miami-Dade County Public Schools then announced it was “reviewing” its lease with the church. The superintendent claimed then that the sermon violated the school’s anti-bullying and nondiscrimination policies. But the non-profit legal advocacy group Liberty Counsel sent a letter to Carvalho stating that any effort to rescind a facilities usage lease with a church because of the pastor’s sermon on homosexuality would be a violation of the First Amendment. Hakimian said, “The reason why I am dealing with [homosexuality] so much is because there is an aggressive approach by … *** theologians that says the Bible never spoke about homosexuality in a way that contemporary Christians understand it. “It’s all over – it’s on YouTube, its on CNN, and its on ’60 Minutes.’ They are not just saying, ‘accept us’ – and I believe we should protect, and not bully, and treat all people with dignity and respect – but they are going beyond and above to change the very meaning of Scripture,” he said Liberty Counsel said the nondiscrimination and anti-bullying policies of the Miami-Dade School Board are “not applicable” to the church situation. “Pastor Hakimian and the church have violated no law or policy. The district cannot discriminate on the basis of his biblically sound viewpoint. Any attempt by the school board to modify, change, or revoke the lease agreement would be unconstitutional,” the organization said. In the decision presented to the board, Carvalho appeared to reach the same conclusion. “Earlier this month, school board members received information from a local news reporter that included allegations of anti-Semitic and anti-*** remarks allegedly made during church services held at North Miami Senior High School, which the Impact Miami Church uses under a facilities agreement with the school district,” the report said. “The school district researched the allegations and found that no anti-Semitic remarks had been made; apparently, this was an error on the part of the reporter. The school district initiated a legal review to fully understand the implications of the alleged remarks and their relationship to school board policy.” The report said: “The legal review by the office of the school board attorney is now complete, and there will be no action on the part of the school district to terminate the contract, as long as the Impact Miami Church continues to make lease payments in advance by cashier’s check, as specified by the lease agreement, and ensure that the organization’s insurance coverage remains current.” Mat Staver, founder and chairman of Liberty Counsel, said his group recently has seen stepped-up attacks against free speech.” “It is outrageous that a public school superintendent could think he has the right to threaten revocation of a lease because of what the pastor preaches in the pulpit,” Staver said. “No public official is above the law. The First Amendment stands as a bulwark against homo-fascism.”

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep.. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes." ~~~~~ ( I LOVE THIS ONE! ) My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~ Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!" ******************************************* What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant. **************************************** Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: Yes, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away. ********************************************************* A women asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?" The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints". ********************************************************* A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential." ********************************************************* Nominated as the best short joke this year... A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at her. The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked: "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one! In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid .... "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid."

Thought you might find this an interesting read, very thought provoking and worth reading. Adapted from Dr. Peter Hammond's book: "Slavery, Terrorism and Islam: The Historical Roots and Contemporary Threat" Islam is not a religion, nor is it a cult. In its fullest form, it is a complete, total, 100% system of life. Islam has religious, legal, political, economic, social, and military components. The religious component is a beard for all of the other components. Islamization begins when there are sufficient Muslims in a country to agitate for their religious privileges. When politically correct, tolerant, and culturally diverse societies agree to Muslim demands for their religious privileges, some of the other components tend to creep in as well. Here's how it works: As long as the Muslim population remains around or under 2% in any given country, they will be for the most part be regarded as a peace-loving minority, and not as a threat to other citizens. This is the case in: United States Muslim 0.6% Australia Muslim 1.5% Canada Muslim 1.9% China Muslim 1.8% Italy Muslim 1.5% Norway Muslim 1.8% At 2% to 5%, they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups, often with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs. This is happening in: Denmark Muslim 2% Germany Muslim 3.7% United Kingdom Muslim 2.7% Spain Muslim 4% Thailand Muslim 4.6% From 5% on, they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. For example, they will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature halal on their shelves -- along with threats for failure to comply. This is occurring in: France Muslim 8% Philippines Muslim 5% Sweden Muslim 5% Switzerland Muslim 4.3% The Netherlands Muslim 5.5% Trinidad & Tobago Muslim 5.8% At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves (within their ghettos) under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islamists is to establish Sharia law over the entire world. When Muslims approach 10% of the population, they tend to increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions. In Paris , we are already seeing car-burnings. Any non-Muslim action offends Islam and results in uprisings and threats, such as in Amsterdam , with opposition to Mohammed cartoons and films about Islam. Such tensions are seen daily, particularly in Muslim sections in: Guyana Muslim 10% India Muslim 13.4% Israel Muslim 16% Kenya Muslim 10% Russia Muslim 15% After reaching 20%, nations can expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings, and the burnings of Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, such as in: Ethiopia Muslim 32.8% At 40%, nations experience widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks, and ongoing militia warfare, such as in: Bosnia Muslim 40% Chad Muslim 53.1% Lebanon Muslim 59.7% From 60%, nations experience unfettered persecution of non-believers of all other religions (including non-conforming Muslims), sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon, and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels, such as in: Albania Muslim 70% Malaysia Muslim 60.4% Qatar Muslim 77.5% Sudan Muslim 70% After 80%, expect daily intimidation and violent jihad, some State-run ethnic cleansing, and even some genocide, as these nations drive out the infidels, and move toward 100% Muslim, such as has been experienced and in some ways is on-going in: Bangladesh Muslim 83% Egypt Muslim 90% Gaza Muslim 98.7% Indonesia Muslim 86.1% Iran Muslim 98% Iraq Muslim 97% Jordan Muslim 92% Morocco Muslim 98.7% Pakistan Muslim 97% Palestine Muslim 99% Syria Muslim 90% Tajikistan Muslim 90% Turkey Muslim 99.8% United Arab Emirates Muslim 96% 100% will usher in the peace of 'Dar-es-Salaam' -- the Islamic House of Peace. Here there's supposed to be peace, because everybody is a Muslim, the Madrasses are the only schools, and the Koran is the only word, such as in: Afghanistan Muslim 100% Saudi Arabia Muslim 100% Somalia Muslim 100% Yemen Muslim 100% Unfortunately, peace is never achieved, as in these 100% states the most radical Muslims intimidate and spew hatred, and satisfy their blood lust by killing less radical Muslims, for a variety of reasons. "Before I was nine, I had learned the basic canon of Arab life. It was me against my brother; me and my brother against our father; my family against my cousins and the clan; the clan against the tribe; the tribe against the world, and all of us against the infidel." -- Leon Uris, 'The Haj' It is important to understand that in some countries, with well under 100% Muslim populations, such as France, the minority Muslim populations live in ghettos, within which they are 100% Muslim, and within which they live by Sharia Law. The national police do not even enter these ghettos. There are no national courts, nor schools, nor non-Muslim religious facilities. In such situations, Muslims do not integrate into the community at large. The children attend madrasses. They learn only the Koran. To even associate with an infidel is a crime punishable with death. Therefore, in some areas of certain nations, Muslim Imams and extremists exercise more power than the national average would indicate. Today's 1.5 billion Muslims make up 22% of the world's population. But their birth rates dwarf the birth rates of Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, and all other believers. Muslims will exceed 50% of the world's population by the end of this century. Well guess what boys and girls, today we are letting the fox -- guard the hen house. And soon the wolves, will be herding the sheep! Obama appointed two devout Muslims to Homeland Security posts. Obama and Janet Napolitano appointed Arif Alikhan, a devout Muslim, as Assistant Secretary for Policy Development. DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano swore in Kareem Shora, a devout Muslim who was born in Damascus , Syria , as ADC National Executive Director as a member of the Homeland Security Advisory Council (HSAC). NOTE: Has anyone ever heard a new government official being identified as a devout Catholic, a devout Jew or a devout Protestant? Just wondering. Devout Muslims being appointed to critical Homeland Security positions? Was it not "Devout Muslim men" that flew planes into U.S. buildings 10 years ago?! Was it not a Devout Muslim who killed 13 at Fort Hood ?! Also: This is very interesting and we all need to read it from start to finish. Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out about any atrocities?! Can a good Muslim be a good American? This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years. The following is his reply: Theologically? no! Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia . Religiously? no! Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam. (Quran, 2:256)(Koran) Scripturally? no! Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Quran. Geographically no! Because his allegiance is to Mecca , to which he turns in prayer five times a day. Socially no! Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews. Politically no! Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America , the great Satan. Domestically no! Because he is instructed to marry four Women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him. (Quran 4:34) Intellectually no! Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt. Philosophically no! Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic. Spiritually no! Because when we declare 'one nation under God,' the our Judeo/Christian God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99 excellent names. Therefore, after much study and deliberation, perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country -- because obviously, they cannot be both 'good' Muslims and good Americans!!! Call it what you wish, it's still the truth, and we'd better start believing it, and waking up to that fact! The more we understand this, the better it will be for our country and our future. This religious war is bigger than we know or understand. Can a Muslim be a good soldier in our armed forces? Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, opened fire at Ft. Hood and killed 13 -- because he was a good Muslim! And the Muslims have always said they will destroy us from within. FOOTNOTE: FREEDOM IS NOT FREE -- AND THE MARINES WANT THIS INFORMATION TO ROLL ALL OVER THE U.S.

Good One http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=30018

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now... No Jesus, No Christmas, No television, No cheerleaders, No Nude Women, No car races, No football, No soccer, No pork BBQ, No hot dogs, No burgers, No chocolate chip cookies, No lobster, No nachos, No Beer nuts, No alcohol, No Beer! Rags for clothes and towels for hats. Constant wailing from the guy next door because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower. On your knees facing east most of the day. More than one wife. You can't shave. Your wives can't shave... You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey. Then, they tell you that when you die it all gets better! I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

High Urinals A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.' 'No, ma'am,' he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'

The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish Captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the Auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..' 'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?' 'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!' 'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.' 'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!' 'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces. There's a few minutes of silence. 'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain. 'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot. 'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!' "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah...all same."

Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Vern! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Vern. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Vern, you picked up a real ***** this time.' VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.

TOO FUNNY If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah . It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. ! ! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.' Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show. If you laughed at this pass it on · Remember, If you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, Then you are just a sour old fart!

20 years from now, I will be in Heaven (HOPEFULLY) --bye !! This was written by a woman born in Egypt as a Muslim. Make sure you read the paragraph (in red) towards the end. Joys of Muslim Women By Nonie Darwish In the Muslim faith a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1 year old and have sexual intimacy with this child. Consummating the marriage by 9. The dowry is given to the family in exchange for the woman (who becomes his slave) and for the purchase of the private parts of the woman, to use her as a toy. Even though a woman is abused she can not obtain a divorce. To prove rape, the woman must have (4) male witnesses. Often after a woman has been raped, she is returned to her family and the family must return the dowry. The family has the right to execute her (an honor killing) to restore the honor of the family. Husbands can beat their wives 'at will' and he does not have to say why he has beaten her. The husband is permitted to have (4 wives) and a temporary wife for an hour (prostitute) at his discretion. The Shariah Muslim law controls the private as well as the public life of the woman. In the West World ( America and Britain ) Muslim men are starting to demand Shariah Law so the wife can not obtain a divorce and he can have full and complete control of her. It is amazing and alarming how many of our sisters and daughters attending AmericanUniversities and BritishUniversities are now marrying Muslim men and submitting themselves and their children unsuspectingly to the Shariah law. By passing this on, enlightened American and British women may avoid becoming a slave under Shariah Law. Ripping the West in Two. Author and lecturer Nonie Darwish says the goal of radical Islamists is to impose Shariah law on the world, ripping Western law and liberty in two. She recently authored the book, Cruel and Usual Punishment: The Terrifying Global Implications of Islamic Law. Darwish was born in Cairo and spent her childhood in Egypt and Gaza before immigrating to America in 1978, when she was eight years old. Her father died while leading covert attacks on Israel . He was a high-ranking Egyptian military officer stationed with his family in Gaza . When he died, he was considered a "shahid," a martyr for jihad. His posthumous status earned Nonie and her family an elevated position in Muslim society. But Darwish developed a skeptical eye at an early age. She questioned her own Muslim culture and upbringing.. She converted to Christianity after hearing a Christian preacher on television. In her latest book, Darwish warns about creeping sharia law - what it is, what it means, and how it is manifested in Islamic countries. For the West, she says radical Islamists are working to impose sharia on the world. If that happens, Western civilization will be destroyed. Westerners generally assume all religions encourage a respect for the dignity of each individual. Islamic law (Sharia) teaches that non-Muslims should be subjugated or killed in this world. Peace and prosperity for one's children is not as important as assuring that Islamic law rules everywhere in the Middle East and eventually in the world. While Westerners tend to think that all religions encourage some form of the golden rule, Sharia teaches two systems of ethics - one for Muslims and another for non-Muslims. Building on tribal practices of the seventh century, Sharia encourages the side of humanity that wants to take from and subjugate others. While Westerners tend to think in terms of religious people developing a personal understanding of and relationship with God, Sharia advocates executing people who ask difficult questions that could be interpreted as criticism. It's hard to imagine, that in this day and age, Islamic scholars agree that those who criticize Islam or choose to stop being Muslim should be executed. Sadly, while talk of an Islamic reformation is common and even assumed by many in the West, such murmurings in the Middle East are silenced through intimidation. While Westerners are accustomed to an increase in religious tolerance over time, Darwish explains how petro dollars are being used to grow an extremely intolerant form of political Islam in her native Egypt and elsewhere. (In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. and Britain To elect the President by themselves! Rest assured they will do so... You can look at how they have taken over several towns in the USA .. DearbornMich. Is one... And there are others....) (Britain has several cities now totally controlled by Muslims) I think everyone in the U.S. and Great Britain Should be required to read this, but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! It is too bad that so many are disillusioned with life and Christianity to accept Muslims as peaceful.. Some may be but they have an army that is willing to shed blood in the name of Islam.. The peaceful support the warriors with their finances and own kind of patriotism to their religion. While America and Britain is getting rid of Christianity from all public sites and erasing God from the lives of children the Muslims are planning a great jihad on America .. (and Britain ) .. This is your chance to make a difference...! Pass it on to your email list or at least those you think will listen.. Some of those I'm sending it to WILL NOT! Put your head back under the covers so you can't see the boogie man!