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delta22

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Everything posted by delta22

  1. Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The courtesy out of driving, The romance out of love, The commitment out of marriage, The responsibility out of parenthood, The togetherness out of the family, The learning out of education, The service out of patriotism, The Golden Rule from rulers, The nativity scene out of cities, The civility out of behavior, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school.And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!! And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts! YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN! I'm the life of the party..... even if it lasts until 8 p.m. I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... with a hammer. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere. I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps. Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too! Spread the laughter Share the cheer Let's be happy While we're here. Go Green - Recycle CONGRESS!!
  2. A Cowboy walked into a drug store in Waco , Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help him. The cowboy said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism. The cowboy then agreed and began by saying....... "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a .... Permanent Erection. It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering *what you could give me for it."* The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister." When she returned, she said "We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is as follows: One-third ownership in the store A company pickup truck Five home cooked dinners a week And $3,000 a month in living expenses." Is that enough?
  3. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target: Dear Mrs. Harris, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least: 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. If you don't send this to 12 of your dearest friends, your property taxes will go up, your stocks will go down, and your middle will spread. (How's that for a curse?!?) What? It's already come true? Then send it anyway--you've got nothing' to lose!
  4. A police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes strides toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an *a sshole ! Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?" Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top." Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?" "Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined." "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?" "Aggressive and hostile, Sir." "Aggressive and hostile?" "Yes, Sir.” "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for . a sshole ? “Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.” How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client~~~~
  5. An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait, the doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, “I’m afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.” “Oh, dear God,” cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock. “We’ve never had a liberal in the family before!”
  6. An epidemic of black-on-white racial violence has swept across the United States, with cases so numerous they sometimes are not even reported. But what has been confirmed is startling, with reports that people are taking to arming themselves for protection from the rampaging black mobs and a black blogger putting the question out there: Why don’t blacks behave? The violence has stretched from affluent neighborhoods all across the states. In Chicago, it’s even been called a race war. Now a number of influential black leaders are sounding off on the epidemic. Jesse Lee Peterson, syndicated talk-show host “I’ve been saying for years that white Americans need to get over their fear of being called racists. They need to get over this false guilt about what’s wrong with black people. Most black people are suffering not from racism from white folks but from lack of moral character. “Black people have been encouraged to hate whites and to discriminate against them from the so-called civil rights leaders. And that is evil. The evil will get worse from generation to generation if you don’t deal with it. “White Americans do not understand what they are doing about allowing this to happen. Generation to generation of black people had been trained or encouraged to hate white folks, and these kids are growing up without good parents in their homes and they’re angry about that. And they are taking it out on white folks because they had been told that it is white racism that is holding them back and it is absolutely not true. “But it is out of control. In my speeches that I give around the country, I encourage white people to get over that fear. When I asked white people if they are afraid of being called racist when it come to dealing with black people, most of the people in the audience raise their hands, and say, yes, they are afraid. “They gotta get past that. Otherwise we are headed for something in this country that we do not want to deal with between the races.” James Harris – WTMJ Milwaukee Harris spoke in response to a black mob that looted a convenience store, then beat up 10 to 15 white people at a nearby Fourth of July party: “This was not a color-blind crime. We have this epidemic of black teenage mob violence happening all over the country. “It is from a perfect storm of entitlements, political correctness and white guilt where people are afraid to identify who are doing the crimes and why they are doing it. “(The mayor and police chief) were more worried about being accused of racial profiling that the fact that black mobs were roaming down the streets hurting people. “This was a PC response because it was black mob violence. You guys (fellow panelists) are in denial. … We have a real problem. A real sickness in the (black) community, that until we address it, it will continue to explode. “Milwaukee and other major cities in this country are facing a crisis of black teen mob violence this summer. And if the powers that be refuse to identify the problem, how can they expect to combat it?” Abdul Hakim-Shabazz Writing in Indiana Barrister, attorney Abdul Hakim-Shabazz is out of patience with people who have too much patience for black pathology: “It’s time for some tough love in this town. There is a criminal element in this town that consists primarily of young black men. The recent attacks on the Monon; the perpetrators were young black men. “The ‘Pop It Off Boys’ gang, young black men. The most high ridden crime areas of the city, who are the bad guys? Say it with me: They are usually young black men. “This may be painful, but the truth hurts. … There is also something even more wrong when people will read this column and get mad at me and call me a ‘sellout’ or an ‘Uncle Tom’ because I was the guy who was brave enough to tell truth. “Indianapolis, you have a problem. Your problem is young, black men who are out of control. It’s time to step up and start making examples out of people. “Decent citizens black and white should not have to live in fear of urban terrorists. The elderly man who marched for civil rights in the 1950s and ’60s should not have to live in fear because some Robin Hoodlum doesn’t know how to honor the social contract. “Young people who are trying to do the right thing, shouldn’t have to live in fear because a bunch of cast extras from a Spike Lee film don’t know how to behave. And I shouldn’t have to write blog posts like this because young black men act like social predators and terrorize the very neighborhoods they live in.” Taleeb Starkes, co-executive producer and writer of ‘Mothers of No Tomorrow’ “During a 2009 speech commemorating Black History Month, U.S Attorney General Eric Holder took America to task for its inability ‘to have frank conversations about the racial matters that continue to divide us.’ “He professed, ‘in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards. We, average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about race.’ “While other African-Americans applauded Attorney General Holder’s interpretation of national affairs, I found it extremely hypocritical to expect a national, interracial dialogue when we (African-Americans) refuse to dialogue or even acknowledge the destructive subculture residing within our race! “Understandably, other races typically avoid calls such as yours for honest, interracial discourse because of the assured accusations of racism. Statistics, facts, evidence witness testimony will all be dismissed as ‘racist,’ regardless of intent. As a result, no true dialogue can commence, especially when not-so-flattering facts (a.k.a., the truth) cannot be included into the discussion. “Pertinent truths such as the disproportionate amounts of crime, murder and societal dysfunctional that is consistently perpetrated by an African-American subculture remains off limits. “Consequently, Mr. Holder, instead of dialogues, the African-American community seems to prefer monologues; that way, the conversation is one-dimensional and heavily regulated. In other words, we bury our garbage (the subculture) in our backyard and get upset when others complain about the smell. “Instead of using the BLACK history month platform to chastise America, Attorney General Holder should have emphasized the cleaning of our backyard. Three years and thousands of bodies later, the highest cop in the country remains committed to the code of silence that is doing so much damage to the true story of what is happening in our neighborhoods.” Mychal Massie, The Daily Rant and WND columnist “The solution is simple, but unpopular. We must stop explaining the problem away vis-à-vis blaming it on external sociologic problems. Every town, city, neighborhood and corner bar knows who the trouble makers are. It is up to them to police themselves by immediately identifying the source to the police department. It is not white people going into those neighborhoods shooting, looting, raping, establishing drug cartels and gangs; it is those who live within those neighborhoods. It is up to those residing within same to make it known those elements are not welcome. “Without expanding further, it is necessary for the people living in these areas to understand they cannot condemn law enforcement, whites and those perceived to be better off on a daily basis and not have it define a person’s psyche. As I said, I’m not taking time to expand on these points, but they are ground zero for any attempt to change the culture of violence.” See Colin Flaherty’s exclusive reporting for WND on race riots: See no Evil: Racial violence underreported ‘Perfect storm’ of black violence on ‘gays’ 2nd Amendment proves valid defense against black gangs Black mobs now have soundtrack for violence Blogger: Why don’t blacks behave? Judge to black perps: What are you doing with your lives? Black mobs terrorize 1 of ‘whitest big cities’ Black mob … in the Hamptons? Racial violence explodes in more states Black mobs now beating Jews in New York Black mob violence hits Nordstrom Chicago’s unreported race war Black expo ‘inescapably tied’ to race violence Black-on-white link found in Minneapolis violence Call for crackdown on black-on-white terror ‘Boredom’ proves to be trigger for ‘flash mobs’
  7. Judicial Watch, the Washington-based organization that monitors government misbehavior and challenges it in court when needed, has filed a lawsuit demanding from the Obama administration the details of the new amnesty program that was installed by executive order. Congress several times has rejected amnesty for illegal aliens, but Obama’s plan allows immigrants who can prove they arrived in the U.S. before they reached 16, and now are 30 or younger, to obtain special permission to work in the U.S. They also must have been living in the country at least five years and be in school or have graduated or served in the military. Tens of thousands of applicants lined up this week as Obama’s order took effect. Now Judicial Watch has announced a lawsuit in federal court in Washington against the Department of Justice and the Department of Homeland Security. It is seeking documents related to the “Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals” order from Obama that was issued in June. Judicial Watch said the new Obama policy allows certain illegal aliens to avoid deportation and take work in the United States. The case pursues records that first were cited in a June 22 Freedom of Information Act request: “All records concerning … the Department of Homeland Security’s decision to exercise prosecutorial discretion with respect to individuals who came to the United States as children. … Such records include, but are not limited to, opinions, memoranda, or legal advice rendered by the Office of Legal Counsel. ” While Obama’s Department of Justice admitted it received the FOIA request, there has been no response even though the deadline was July 24. The Washington watchdog group said it also submitted a similar request to the DHS in June, but the agency, under Secretary Janet Napolitano, also has not responded. “This new Obama amnesty program is an attack on the constitutional role of Congress and runs roughshod over existing immigration law,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “It is no surprise that the Obama administration doesn’t want to share the legal basis for this unilateral executive action and is violating Freedom of Information Act law to keep the American people in the dark,” he said. “President Obama and his political appointees are abusing their offices with this new amnesty program. If the administration were confident about the legality of its actions, it wouldn’t be keeping secret the legal basis for President Obama’s extraordinary decision to unilaterally change the law.” The AP reported thousands lined up starting yesterday to apply for the special status created by Obama. “It’s something I have been waiting for since I was two years old,” Bupendra Ram, a 25-year-old communications graduate student in Fullerton, Calif., told the AP. “This offers us an opportunity to fulfill the dreams I’ve had since I was a child.” Obama’s maneuvers have been criticized by likely GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Observers note that the strategy is earning Obama support among the Latino population in the run up to the 2012 election. But members of Congress, who rejected similar plans earlier, said Obama simply sidestepped the legal process and created a backdoor amnesty. In Arizona, which has taken a strong stand against illegal immigration, Gov. Jan Brewer took the issue into her own hands. Brewer signed an executive order stating that participants in the federal program don’t qualify for state benefits and identification, such as a driver’s license. She emphasized Obama’s decree does not make illegal aliens legal and won’t entitle them to Arizona public benefit
  8. Dinesh D’Souza should be commended for sending George Obama $1,000 to cover his son’s urgent medical bills – something George’s millionaire “brother,” who happens to be president of the United States, was apparently not willing to do. In a column today, D’Souza effectively makes the point that Barack Obama’s lack of interest in helping his impoverished and needy family members, even in time of an emergency, suggests his self-righteous boasts of compassion ring hollow indeed. . It was D’Souza whom George Obama called for help – having met him during the shooting of the movie “2016 Obama’s America,” a documentary about what motivates Barack Obama. D’Souza asked George during the call, “Why are you coming to me?” His response, “I have no one else to ask.” D’Souza writes: “Then he said something that astounded me, ‘Dinesh, you are like a brother to me.’” It’s a very good column – and D’Souza’s new book and movie provide some interesting clues into Obama’s worldview. Yet, his examination of Obama falls a little short of the bull’s-eye in one respect: While remaining skeptical about Obama’s claims to compassion and the candor of his oft-used phrase, “We are our brother’s keeper,” D’Souza accepts at face value Obama’s identity claims. He accepts Obama was born at Kapi’olani Hospital in Honolulu Aug. 4, 1961. Why? Because that’s the story Obama tells in his ghostwritten autobiography. He accepts that his parents were Barack Obama Sr., a Kenyan visiting student, and Stanley Ann Dunham, a “progressive” ideologue. Why? Because Obama says so. And he accepts that Barack Obama actually has real blood relatives in Kenya. Why? Because Obama says so. It doesn’t seem to occur to the scholar that one reason Barack Obama may be reluctant to help George Obama is because he’s not really his brother at all – that Obama’s life story is fraudulent from the get-go, little more than a fairy tale concocted to make the ambitious young politician more intriguing and perhaps less threatening than reality. The fact of the matter is we know almost nothing about Obama’s real family history – certainly nothing that can be certifiably documented. While I agree with D’Souza that Obama’s rhetoric about helping the poor and destitute doesn’t live up to his actions, doesn’t Obama’s unwillingness to lend a helping hand to his “brother” – even for the sake of upholding pretenses – suggest there could be more to the story than meets the eye? What, for instance, did Obama do about checking on the welfare of his supposedly beloved Aunt Zeituni Onyango, one of the children of his alleged grandfather? Nothing. Barack Obama was too busy planning ways to change the country and save the planet to reach out to an elderly relative in obvious need living in a disabled-access apartment in a rundown public housing complex in South Boston. Likewise, what did Obama do for his “Uncle Omar,” also described in his autobiography, when he was beaten by armed robbers with a sawed-off rifle while working in a corner shop in the Dorchester area of Boston who was later evicted from his one-bedroom apartment for failing to pay $2,324.20 in rent? Nothing. Again, he was too busy planning ways to change the country and save the planet – with your money, of course. While it’s certainly true that Obama believes individual acts of charity could never measure up to the impact of collective and coercive programs of redistribution of wealth, his inactions in lifting a finger to help those he claims as kin are almost inexplicable – unless you at least entertain the possibility that they really aren’t. Knowing all we know today about Obama’s uncanny lack of documentation, isn’t it time for smart fellows like Dinesh D’Souza to consider that his life story is simply made up – all part of a well-orchestrated charade that began many years ago when those who raised him, schooled him and instilled in him limitless political ambition created for him an identity to conceal something that would be just too threatening to the American people?
  9. DENVER – It’s a company with 50 years of service to the Denver community, employs hundreds of people, has preserved a historic cotton mill, is a “responsible and respectful employer of a diverse workforce” and raises funds and donates to the victims and fighters in the West’s recent wildfires. So what’s a city to do? If you’re Denver, a heavily Democrat enclave in the American West, you think about honoring the company with a “proclamation,” then consider the company owners’ Christianity and drop the plan like a hot potato. That’s what has happened to Hercules Industries, which recently won a preliminary court fight with the federal government over an Obamacare mandate that would require employers to pay for contraception and abortifacient services in its health care program. The company is challenging the demand, because it would force the owners to violate their Christian faith. A federal judge has prevented the government from imposing the requirement pending further court action. Hercules’ executive Bill Newland told WND that Denver Councilwoman Robin Kneich had contacted him about a proclamation recognizing the 50 years of business success the company has contributed to the city’s economy. There was an exchange of information. The city asked for particulars and Newland provided information. A proclamation honoring the company was drafted. It was reviewed. “She saw some of the things that we were developing with our business, regarding historic rehabilitation of some structures, our health care package,” Newland said. The draft of the document notes that Hercules, which produces energy-efficient heating, cooling and ventilation components, not only runs two locations in Denver, but another 12 in other parts of the of the region, including New Mexico, Wyoming, Utah and Arizona. Further, the company operates in “the historic 1890 Overland Cotton Mill, the only successful Colorado cotton mill, and the original manufacturing operation was laid out exactly as the building is used by Hercules today.” Also cited were its “diverse workforce,” its “generous employee health care coverage” and its donations for wildfire victims. Then city officials got word of the company’s lawsuit. Just days before the presentation was scheduled, Kneich called again. “She told me that proclamations are not meant to be controversial in nature, and because of our stance on freedom of religion, it wasn’t going to be presented,” Newland said. “It did seem odd to us,” he said. But Newland said he told the councilwoman that the company intended to continue its business operations that benefit Denver, no matter. WND requested comment from Kneich, but none was forthcoming. WND contacted the city council staff, and a worker said she could not even find a draft of the proclamation in the files any longer. The Alliance Defending Freedom, which is working with the Newland family and the company in the fight against Obamacare, said that in response, Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty issued a state proclamation from the Republican-majority body, praising the company “on behalf of the state’s House of Representatives.” “It’s sad when the very values that drive a family to serve others are used to try to disgrace them,” said Legal Counsel Matt Bowman. “The city council saw this family’s contributions, but then said ‘no honors for you’ because Hercules’ leaders took a principled stand for freedom of religion and conscience. That stand makes the Newlands more worthy of respect, not less so. We thank Speaker McNulty for standing up where Denver would not in recognizing the numerous contributions that Hercules Industries has made to its employees and community.” The state honor says: “The Colorado House of Representatives is pleased to honor the Newland family for their continued commitment to their employees, community and historic preservation. We congratulate Hercules Industries for 50 years of exemplary business practices and wish them continued success.”
  10. International lesbian, ***, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights advocates are crying foul after a top court ruled to uphold a ban on Pride marches in Moscow for the next 100 years. As the BBC reports, the ruling came after Russia's best-known LGBT rights activist, Nikolai Alexeyev, had sought to overturn the city council's ban on Pride festivities. According to the ruling, the earliest that a Pride march, rally or celebration can take place in May 2112, Pink News notes. Still, Alexeyev vowed to continue the fight. "We will appeal against the actions taken by the Russian authorities, which have banned *** pride parades in Moscow for the next 100 years, in the European Court of Human Rights in the nearest future," he was quoted by Interfax as saying. "Thus, we will get the invalidation of the bans not only on past, but also future *** pride parades in the Russian capital." Among those to respond to the ruling was Andre Banks, executive director for AllOut.org. "This ruling reminds us that Pride is every bit as meaningful today as it was after Stonewall in 1969," Banks said in an email statement. "Millions around the world are still fighting for the basic right to live openly and love who they choose. Much like that memorable summer decades ago, this fight will continue and it will be successful." In May, Alexeyev was reportedly fined 5,000 rubles ($170) for breaching St. Petersburg's controversial "homosexual propaganda" law, which had been ntroduced by lawmakers in Russia's second-largest city in February, according to the Associated Press. According to the St. Petersburg law, individuals convicted of promoting homosexuality to minors could be fined up to 5,000 rubles ($172) and organizations could be fined up to 500,000 rubles ($17,200). As Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty points out, the legislation also appears to equate homosexuality with pedophilia by levying the same fines for pedophilic "propaganda."
  11. A South Florida man with an unfortunate name -- or a strong commitment to pranking police -- was arrested last Friday on a litany of charges in Fort Lauderdale. Jackmeoff Mudd, 54, was arrested on charges of assault, disorderly conduct, resisting an officer, possession of alcohol in an open container, and violation of probation. He is being held at a Broward County jail on a $300 bond, which means that at some point in the last few days, a somber county judge read his name aloud in court (here's hoping it was Judge John Hurley, just to bring his week full circle). Mudd is not the first jailbird to have a strange name, of course. In Wisconsin, police booked Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop for multiple charges, and on the flip side, a woman who tried to stop three brothers from robbing a Texas WalMart last year turned out to be named Monique Lawless.
  12. Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days:A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage , would you ask me if I was Italian?Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."
  13. . In the past, no matter how much I read the Bible, I had thought that it didn't encourage questions or questioners. I soon realized that my call to questioners and my previous belief about the Bible had become incompatible. As I started this new Bible study, I realized how much I valued the cocoon I had built around myself. I realized how much I valued my own safety when it came to the Bible. As long as I could fit it into my neat, theological categories, I did just fine, at least, on the surface. Fear. All of us feel it. There is no shame in feeling it, although we often think it's the height of sin to just have the feeling. It often comes to us when we are in situations that are completely out of the realm of our abilities. We have no way to cope, so we often fall back on what we know. Rarely do we enter into those questions and feel their full brute force. That is, until God makes us face them. We feel fear and then we lash out at the person who is doing the asking. We react in fear not because God is challenged but because our idols are being called into question; the idols of success, influence, power and control. Atheists often talk about how Christians and the Bible encourage blind belief. Christians often think it as well. When I struggled with doubt, I avoided the Bible. It made me ill to even think about reading it. I have to say, rethinking how I approached questioning in the Bible turned out to be harder than I thought. I had such an ingrained attitude driven by misquoted scripture, "Didn't Jesus say we should have the faith of a child?" It's true, He did, but it's my belief we haven't really thought about His words. Have you ever been around kids? Kids do have a simple faith, but they also question everything. My kids ask intense questions like "Why does God let people die? Why do I feel scared? Why was this person mean to me?" I find it much easier to answer the questions of adults than kids. Jesus' first words of the Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are the Poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God." What is interesting about that phrase, "Poor in Spirit," is the literal translation, which is "Spirit beggars." God wants us to see that we are panhandlers covered in our own filth. He wants us to admit that we are full of doubts. He wants us to bring them out into the open before Him and lay them at His feet. God wants us to see that He understands our doubt. How do we know this? Eloi, Eloi, lema, sabachthani. Recognize this? Jesus said it. He said it on the most horrible day in history, the day God died, and the day that God doubted Himself. My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? At this very moment, God is calling Himself into question. At this moment, all of the skubulos (see St. Paul's letter to the Philippians) and sin of the world has been placed on God's shoulders. He takes the blame for everything. God embraces His responsibility by paying the price required. Forsaken. You have forsaken me. Jesus is quoting Psalm 21, a Psalm that expresses ultimate agony and feelings of abandonment. He is echoing the Old Testament theme of the struggle with belief in God. Psalm 88 is a perfect example of this struggle. The Psalmist questions God's sanity and the darkness of the world. Unlike most Psalms, it doesn't end on a happy note. It ends with, "My companions have become darkness." This passage of scripture is actually in the Bible. Its mere presence destroys the idea that God doesn't allow people to question him. The Psalmist asks stark and terrible questions. "Vanity, Vanity, everything is Vanity," begins one of the most question intensive books of the Bible. The writer of Ecclesiastes asks disturbing questions like, "What use is pleasure? Work? Why bother? Why should I strive to be wise?" Underneath all of these questions are these "Why does God allow death? Why give us any pleasure in the first place? What's the point of it all?" These are questions that are asked to a God who doesn't seem to answer. The questioner in Ecclesiastes is not struck down, but he isn't answered either. This theme plays out starkly and loudly in the book of Job. It's a tragic story. Here is Job, an upright man who believed in God. We are told that he even gave offerings on behalf of his children in case they didn't believe God. This guy had all his bases covered. Then, in what seems like a barroom bet between God and Satan, Job becomes the focus of a series of horrible tragedies. His crops are destroyed. His property raided and, what strikes me as the worst of the worst, his children are killed in a horrible windstorm. Job never curses God, but he does question. He calls God into account. He demands that God explain Himself. He feels forsaken and unloved. Job's friends appear on the scene, and they aren't really any help. In a modern retelling of Job, the Coen brothers' movie A Serious Man illustrates Job's friends' futility through three Rabbi's who fail to answer the questions of a man whose life has come undone. They all give him the same advice that Job's friends gave him. Shut up. You have probably sinned somewhere. Don't ask God questions. When God appears on the scene in Job, he does something very interesting. He answers Job by asking more questions. God doesn't give Job any pat answers. Instead, he asks Job: Who are you in relationship to me and the rest of the world? Do you think you are the only one who suffers? As I read through the biblical discussion of doubt, I realized how much the Bible really does describe reality, especially the reality of the human condition. It calls us to question and to doubt. The relief I felt can barely be described. I felt liberated. I could openly bring out my doubts and not get struck by lightning. My faith had been restored through doubt.
  14. There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States . Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course their freshman year, regardless of his or her major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously. This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class. One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. "How many push-ups can you do?" Steve said, "I do about 200 every night." "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?" Steve replied, "I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time" "Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson. "Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor. Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it." Dr. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday.. Let me explain what I have in mind." Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class. Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" "Sure!" Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.. When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push-ups?" Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Dr... Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!" Dr.. Christianson said, "Look! This is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr.. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Sternly, Jenny said, "No." Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut. By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, "No!" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was, so Robert could count the push-ups and watch Steve closely. Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row.. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push-ups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come." Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?" Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut." Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said, "give me a donut." "Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. Dr Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.. The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?" Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you." Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda. Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?" Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?" Dr Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not.. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push-ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes." "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor. Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten. " Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile. "Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding, "Not all sermons are preached in words." Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His Only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid." "Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?" Share this with someone. It's bound to touch their heart and demonstrate Salvation in a very special way. .
  15. Here's something to think about. I remember asking dad about Castro when I was about 9 years old. I asked, "Is Castro a good guy or bad?" Dad said he couldn't tell! This was about 1955. We were living in Louisiana at the time. Dad was in the army there. Cuba was fairly close and in the news a lot. The Cubans were asking the same question! Ike was president. This past July, we had the pleasure of sharing a summer barbecue with a refugee from Cuba . Our dinner conversation was starkly different than most. This refugee came to the United States as a young boy in the early 1960s. His family was more fortunate than most as they were able to bring a suitcase and $100 when they fled Castro's newly formed revolutionary paradise. Our dinner consisted of all-American fare: hamburgers, potato salad, watermelon and fresh ears of sweet corn. This is a menu shared with family and friends nationwide, while celebrating the birth of our beloved America on the Fourth of July. We began with a simple discussion about our country and the direction it has taken since Barack Obama came to power. We shared the usual complaints about the sour economy and liberal social engineering emanating from the rulers in Washington . But then he said it. The sentence came naturally. I assume it was unplanned. But it carried the weight of a freight train. "You know when Castro took power, none of us knew he was a Communist." We sat stunned. He continued, "Yes, we all thought he was a patriot, a nationalist. Before the revolution he didn't sound like a radical." The comparison at this point was easy, and I interjected, "You mean just like Barack Obama?" He responded; "Yes, just like Barack Obama." He continued, "We were all shocked as the government just continued to grab more power. First they said the revolution is over, so please turn in your guns. We all complied." "I remember my uncle saying after it started; 'Castro will only nationalize some of the big industries, he will never come and take our family hardware store.' But that is exactly what happened; Castro started with the sugar mills and the large industries, but they eventually came and knocked on the door of our family hardware store. My family had run this store for generations. They said we now own the hardware store, you work for us. And that nice, large four-bedroom home you own, it is now our property also, and you can move yourself and five children into two rooms of the house because others are moving in with you." The lesson learned from this discussion is a lesson most Americans refuse to hear. Political leaders can lie about their agenda and once in office they can take totally unexpected turns. If you had asked us three years ago if we thought General Motors would be nationalized, we would have never believed it. We could never contemplate a country where the rule of law, the most fundamental building block of a just society would be evaporating just like it did in Castro's Cuba in the early 1960s. But the news of injustice keeps increasing. Black Panthers are not charged with wrongdoing by the U.S. Department of Justice because their crimes are against whites. The bondholders of GM are stripped of their assets without due process by the government. Governmental leaders are bribed in full daylight only to have all investigation of the crimes stifled by the Attorney General. The U.S. borders are overrun with crime and illegal activity and the leaders in D.C. act as if it is important to protect the lawbreakers while the innocent are killed and overrun. When local communities attempt to enforce the law, they are ridiculed and threatened as racists and bigots. They are sued by the very administration entrusted with enforcing the law.. Without the rule of law the U.S. Constitution is a sham. Without the rule of law our beloved America is swiftly becoming a country where only the well connected and politically powerful will be safe. As Michelle Malkin has so eloquently explained in her recent book, “ a culture of corruption ” has replaced honest government. The only way this problem will be fixed is by massive citizen action. All honest citizens that want to be treated equally must come together and demand that the favoritism, the bribes, the uneven enforcement of law end now. And yes, it can happen here. PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW ... And may God bless the United States of America !
  16. Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job. Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job. Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried.. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place. In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the "common good." Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem. If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices. Alfred W. Evans, Gatesville , TX AND while you are on Government subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Government welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.
  17. A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a handful of states and arrived at a striking conclusion: There were over 600,000 hunters this season in the state of Wisconsin. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last several months, Wisconsin's hunters became the eighth largest army in the world. More men under arms than in Iran. More than in France and Germany combined. These men deployed to the woods of a single American state to hunt with firearms, and no one was killed. That number pales in comparison to the 750,000 who hunted the woods of Pennsylvania, and Michigan 's 700,000 hunters, all of whom have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia and it literally establishes the fact that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. The point? America is well positioned to deal with foreign invasion with this kind of home-grown firepower. Hunting -- it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of both personal freedom and contribution to national security. Also the reason the Japanese didn't attack the mainland during WWll. This is why all enemies, foreign and domestic, want to see us disarmed. Food for thought when next we consider gun control.
  18. The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?'' The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.
  19. AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex
  20. When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints. When he sees you are living what you read, he flees!! And when you are about to re-post this message, he will try and discourage you. I defeated him!! Will U!! Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil. It has no point.
  21. Here's a little something some one sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.) Remember, this is strictly a mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But , A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. REMEMBER: SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM. !
  22. THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF PRECISION!! A Norwegian Military Band Exhibition . . .those are US made Garand M-1 rifles (WWII), and heavy weapons (9 POUNDS EACH) and when that one young fellow goes on his own - YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A RIFLE SPUN THAT FAST - note the collective "Ooooooooo !" from the audience. TURN UP THE SOUND....click in the bottom right hand corner...for a FULL SCREEN. TREMENDOUS ! http://sorisomail.com/email/16993/exibicao-de-banda-militar--um-espectaculo-imperdivel.html
  23. An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..' He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye. The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?' The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.
  24. In South Los Angeles , a 4-plex was destroyed by a fire. A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire. An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire. 6 LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died. A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire. [/url] Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA and met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and only the white couple lived? The fire chief said, "They were at work."
  25. : One detail that is never mentioned is that in Washington , D.C. there can never be a building of greater height than the Washington Monument . With all the uproar about removing the ten commandments, etc., this is worth a moment or two of your time. I was not aware of this amazing historical information. On the aluminum cap, atop the Washington Monument in Washington , D.C. , are displayed two words: Laus Deo. No one can see these words. In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn't care less. Once you know Laus Deo's history, you will want to share this with everyone you know. These words have been there for many years; they are 555 feet, 5.125 inches high, perched atop the monument, facing skyward to the Father of our nation, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia , capital of the United States of America. Laus Deo! Two seemingly insignificant, unnoticed words. Out of sight and, one might think, out of mind, but very meaningfully placed at the highest point over what is the most powerful city in the most successful nation in the world. So, what do those two words, in Latin, composed of just four syllables and only seven letters, possibly mean? Very simply, they say " Praise be to God!" Though construction of this giant obelisk began in 1848, when James Polk was President of the United States , it was not until 1888 that the monument was inaugurated and opened to the public. It took twenty-five years to finally cap the memorial with a tribute to the Father of our nation, Laus Deo. "Praise be to God!" From atop this magnificent granite and marble structure, visitors may take in the beautiful panoramic view of the city with its division into four major segments. From that vantage point, one can also easily see the original plan of the designer, Pierre Charles l'Enfant ..a perfect cross imposed upon the landscape, with the White House to the north. The Jefferson Memorial is to the south, the Capitol to the east and the Lincoln Memorial to the west. A cross you ask? Why a cross? What about separation of church and state? Yes, a cross; separation of church and state was not, is not, in the Constitution. So, read on. How interesting and, no doubt, intended to carry a profound meaning for those who bother to notice. Praise be to God! Within the monument itself are 898 steps and 50 landings. As one climbs the steps and pauses at the landings the memorial stones share a message. On the 12th Landing is a prayer offered by the City of Baltimore; on the 20th is a memorial presented by some Chinese Christians; on the 24th a presentation made by Sunday School children from New York and Philadelphia quoting Proverbs 10:7, Luke 18:16 and Proverbs 22:6. Praise be to God! When the cornerstone of the Washington Monument was laid on July 4th, 1848 deposited within it were many items including the Holy Bible presented by the Bible Society. Praise be to God! Such was the discipline, the moral direction, and the spiritual mood given by the founder and first President of our unique democracy "One Nation, Under God" I am awed by Washington 's prayer for America Have you ever read it? Well, now is your unique opportunity, so read on! "Almighty God; We make our earnest prayer that Thou wilt keep the United States in Thy holy protection; that Thou wilt incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government; and entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another and for their fellow citizens of the United States at large. And finally that Thou wilt most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility, and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without a humble imitation of whose example in these things we can never hope to be a happy nation. Grant our supplication, we beseech Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen." Laus Deo! When one stops to observe the inscriptions found in public places all over our nation's capitol, he or she will easily find the signature of God, as it is unmistakably inscribed everywhere you look. You may forget the width and height of "Laus Deo ", its location, or the architects but no one who reads this will be able to forget its meaning, or these words: "Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." (Psalm 127: 1) It is hoped you will send this to every child you know; to every sister, brother, father, mother or friend. They will not find offense, because you have given them a lesson in history that they probably never learned in school. With that, be not ashamed, or afraid, but have pity on those who will never see this because someone failed to send it on.
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