WashingtonGenerals
A Parody...
The Generals’ Biggest Fan
Visit Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s (R-KY) D.C. office and you’ll find one of the largest collections of Washington Generals memorabilia in private hands. A lifetime fan of the long suffering opponents of the Harlem Globetrotters, Senator McConnell sat down recently with IOTWR’s own Dr. Tar to discuss how his leadership style has been inspired by the Generals’ dedication to losing convincingly.
“Though a Washington team, they rarely play at home. That’s why I use every vacation opportunity to follow them on the road. I really admire their determination to lose their games while pretending to try. It takes skill to believably blow a lead at the last minute. What the Generals manage to accomplish night after night has been an inspiration for my Obamacare policy.
They always seem to find a new way to lose that never fails to astonish. Like them, I too do my best to fool our supporters that we’re going to win. We dedicate ourselves to convincing them that this time we’re really going to get it done, then somehow find a new way to fail miserably at the last moment.”
The senate majority leader then reached in his wallet to pull out tickets to the Generals in Cincinnati on December 29th. “John Boehner’s a big fan too and he got me these. He’s more into hollow victories and meaningless wins, like never having a budget approved or voting time after time to repeal Obamacare knowing the sitting president will just veto the bill.”
“You know, being a Generals fan teaches one to not have “excessive expectations.” You learn to just keep supporting your team even if they prove to be pathetic losers when it counts the most.”
More on the Generals Here . They should change their name to the Senate Republicans.
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