pokerplayer Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's azz anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser. 7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant. 8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them. 9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere. 16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.. 17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after". 18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed. 20. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you? 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 No, you didn't send it to me, I sent it to Sarge's Gals who sent it to me and I meant to send it to you but I had to go upstairs to take the dry clothes out of the washer in the basement and turn the dryer on to the rinse cycle and then I had to feed the cat... ...to the dog, then take a nap. Sorry, I'll send it to you tomorrow after I go vote... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moose 57 Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 lmao!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umbertino Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 Yep...... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtFuryUSCZ Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 And we don't remember where we got it, much less who we sent it to... Hey, HAYDUKE.... come get your cat, it's crappin' in our flower bed. Scat SNOWGLOBE ! Bad Kitty ! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowGlobe7 Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Hayduke Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 26 minutes ago, SgtFuryUSCZ said: And we don't remember where we got it, much less who we sent it to... Hey, HAYDUKE.... come get your cat, it's crappin' in our flower bed. Scat SNOWGLOBE ! Bad Kitty ! I know right? I hate that smell - there's nothing worse than a cat poo surprise - well, maybe there is, but I just can't remember what it is right at the moment but I'm sure it has something to do with pigs... and a barnyard in Missouri... on a hot humid day... with a slight breeze wafting through an open window... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabee Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Quote Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's azz anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser. 7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant. 8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them. 9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere. 16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.. 17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after". 18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed. 20. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you? Here's one you may have forgotten Quote Here's one you may have forgotten. 21. A penny for your thoughts, oh wait a minute we are Americans, we are not allowed to have any thoughts 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtFuryUSCZ Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 1 hour ago, George Hayduke said: I know right? I hate that smell - there's nothing worse than a cat poo surprise - well, maybe there is, but I just can't remember what it is right at the moment but I'm sure it has something to do with pigs... and a barnyard in Missouri... on a hot humid day... with a slight breeze wafting through an open window... Chicken ranches.... worse than pigs ! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 9 hours ago, SgtFuryUSCZ said: Chicken ranches.... worse than pigs ! IMO...and being from The Dairy State...I've smelled a thing or two! I used to say nothing is worse than freshly spread liquid manure...but since moving to NC and living in Tyson country I say chicken shyatt makes it a toss up!!! Just pray your not down wind when they spread that stuff!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patrickgold Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Don't tell the environmentalists, they'll come and take the chickens away, they're already picking on our cows, cattle...Something about their manure affecting the ozone These creatures have been here long then them, they haven't made a difference in the ozone level. I guess they have to blame it on someone, why not the creatures. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxinjersey Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 2 hours ago, RodandStaff said: IMO...and being from The Dairy State...I've smelled a thing or two! I used to say nothing is worse than freshly spread liquid manure...but since moving to NC and living in Tyson country I say chicken shyatt makes it a toss up!!! Just pray your not down wind when they spread that stuff!!! True dat, Rod! Another thing... I was doing some American Picking down in Maryland, somewhere on the DelMarVa Penninsula, and we stopped in a town for lunch in a quaint cafe... but the stench from outside made it almost impossible to enjoy! Chicken processing plant right down the street! That poor town! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtFuryUSCZ Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 14 hours ago, SnowGlobe7 said: The reason we own several Modified Sling Bows ! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowGlobe7 Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 hey now...you got a license for those gals????!!!!!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtFuryUSCZ Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 1 hour ago, SnowGlobe7 said: hey now...you got a license for those gals????!!!!!!! NOPE. Bwahahahaa...! If asked, we just say it's a plain 'ol slingshot.... yuh, sure it is.... heheheheheh..... You can see what they look like on the utuber thingy... ...one guy even loads 'em with special 'ammo' to thump bunnies on the head with...Mmm - dinner ! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatshername Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 35 minutes ago, SgtFuryUSCZ said: You can see what they look like on the utuber thingy... I'm gonna use the gURL thingy to bring over the utuber thingy!!! Hunters Are Gung-Ho About the Sling Bow 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SgtFuryUSCZ Posted February 5, 2017 Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 LOL ! Thanks, WHN ! Yup, that's how we roll, alright ! 'OlSarge made these up for us 'OlGals way back in the day out of some wrist rockets and stuff he picked up at WalMart. We were SO accurate with them, he was afraid of us ! They're perfect for us 'older' kids... Doesn't require alotta strength to pack some serious punch ! BAM ! We can take 'em in the Giant Van with us and still be armed in States where we can't take our guns. We've killed monkey, iguana & fish with them in Panama, too! And frog huntin' with 'em is better than plain 'ol giggin'...! YEE-HAW ! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodandStaff Posted February 6, 2017 Report Share Posted February 6, 2017 (edited) You Gal's get more and more iterestin' all the time!!! Edited February 6, 2017 by RodandStaff 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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