Think your having a Bad day

[Heavyduty053]

Rob is a commercial saturation diver, he performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. The letter said this.

               Hi Sis, here's another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had the worst day of my life. I know you've been feeling down lately cause of work so I will share this with you. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea or at least that where the most part of my work is. I have to wear a wet suit to the site. This time of year the water is cold. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 dollar piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a warm comfortable temperature, then pumps it down to the divers through a garden hose which is fastened to my suit Now this sounds like a darn good plan and it is for the most part and we have been using it for years with no complaints. What happens is when i get to the bottom which takes about 35 to 40 minutes because of compression of pressure, I turn on the hose and it floods my whole suit with warm water like working in a Jacuzzi.

               Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my buns started to itch and it was right where the hose attaches. So of course i took a second to scratch it. This only made things worse. Within a seconds my buns started to burn! I turned off the hose thinking this might help, but the damage was already done. I realized something was not right causing me to sweat then I realized what had happened. The warm water machine had somehow sucked up a jellyfish and pumped pieces of it into my suit and it got into my crack. Now since I didn't have any hairs on my buttocks for it to attach to it settled in and around my buttocks. When I scratched it it really made it worse. I was sweating, about to pass out from nerves. I radioed the supervisor about my dilemma and after a second of silence everyone in the room was laughing and i didn't completely understand his instructions. Needless to say i aborted the dive. I knew i had to make three agonizing in water decompression stops totaling thirty five minutes to equalize the pressure inside of my lungs before i could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic with tears of laughter running down his face handed me a tube of cream and i think i squirted the whole thing in my crack. I didn't care that i was half naked, I had to have some relief. The cream put the fire out, but i couldn't poop for two days because my buttocks was swollen shut. Unfortunate as it was it picked me after all these years and I paid the price. On the good side my employer put safe guards over the water intake port to guard against his ever happening again............So next time you think you are having a bad day at work...........just think what it would be like having a feeling like a jellyfish is trying to crawl your butt and being underwater you can't scream............Just a little laughter in a messed up world............Now have a good day.

[Wiljor]

Thanks Heavy 

[DWitte]

Maybe the guy is an ass wipe.

[new york kevin]

3 hours ago, DWitte said:

Maybe the guy is an ass wipe.

He might need an ass wipe, butt I don't think he is one. See what I did there? If prayer doesn't make my bad day better at least thoughts of this story will give me a big ol laugh. Can't be sad when you laughing.

[DinarThug]

Did The Guy Happen To See The Value Of The Dinar While At The Bottom Of The Ocean...

    

 

[cws]

Prob didn't see the value of the Dinar but spotted a whole bunch of lawyers!!

[four wheel drift]

19 minutes ago, cws said:

Prob didn't see the value of the Dinar but spotted a whole bunch of lawyers!!

Not enough!!!!!!

FWD

GO RV

[sandfly]

Nothing