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18 hours ago, moose 57 said:

Best Caption wins a free hat!!!

 

 

Image may contain: outdoor and water

 

Up sh-t creek without a Paddle...

 

h.a.n.d.

 

 Dr Who where is the loo?🤔

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The Italian tomato garden.

 

 

 

An old Italian lived alone in Cleveland . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:


Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.... I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa


A few days later he received a letter from his son: Dear Pop ,Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie


At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.That same day the old man received another letter from his son.


Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.


Love you,Vinnie

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A woman was asked to give a talk on the power of prayer to her local women’s group. With her husband sitting in the audience, she recounted how they had turned to God when her husband suffered an unfortunate accident.

“Three months ago,” she began, “my husband Colin was knocked off his bicycle and his scrotum was smashed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him. They warned that our lives might never be the same again. Colin was unable to get close to either me or the children and every move caused him enormous discomfort. It meant we could no longer touch him around the scrotum.

“So we prayed that the doctors would be able to repair him. Fortunately our prayers were answered and they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Colin’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place. They said he should make a complete recovery and regain full use of his scrotum.”

As the audience burst into spontaneous applause, a lone man walked up to the stage. He announced: “Good afternoon. My name is Colin, and I just want to tell my wife once again that the word is ‘sternum’.”

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