Guest views are now limited to 12 pages. If you get an "Error" message, just sign in! If you need to create an account, click here.

Jump to content
  • CRYPTO REWARDS!

    Full endorsement on this opportunity - but it's limited, so get in while you can!

Silly Smiles


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 7.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Happy Friday!! Can I just ask everyone a huge favor? 

Those of you who are planning to put Christmas lights in your yards, please can you avoid anything red or blue and flashing? 

Every time I drive past, I think it's the cops and have a mild panic attack. I have to take my foot off the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seat belt on, throw my phone on the floor, hide my whiskey, swallow my joint, and shove the gun under the seat. It's a major drama. I really appreciate your cooperation!

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, genx4me said:

Happy Friday!! Can I just ask everyone a huge favor? 

Those of you who are planning to put Christmas lights in your yards, please can you avoid anything red or blue and flashing? 

Every time I drive past, I think it's the cops and have a mild panic attack. I have to take my foot off the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seat belt on, throw my phone on the floor, hide my whiskey, swallow my joint, and shove the gun under the seat. It's a major drama. I really appreciate your cooperation!

 

You sharin' that whiskey, genx?  :eyebrows:

 

if-you-drink-dont-drive-dont-even-putt-q

 

GO RV, then BV

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, SnowGlobe7 said:

Image result for sarcasm

 

 

Yes my dear kitty, Sarcasm has always been a female kitty best quality. Real manly cats, however,  use suave and debonair to attract the best kitties.  

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ponderisms

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? 
Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
3. OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? 
* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*~ *~*
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 25. Have you ever noticed the word  Therapist when broken down is The Rapist? Just saying. 
  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.