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CAPT JACK

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Everything posted by CAPT JACK

  1. If you want to know about the distractions, go to u tube and search “Q” or Qanon . You may find it very interesting!
  2. I just want to thank whoever responded to my request for a Password. I have been trying to get back in since last May. Thanks again.
  3. I would have followed him to Hell and back. He was a great Commander! RIP
  4. Just remember that the Myans did not have Leap year, so their version of 12-21-2012 has come and gone.
  5. Walked by two guys setting in a kiddie pool, eating pork n beans. I ask them what in the world were they doing. They just smiled and said Hillbilly jaccuzzi.
  6. LMAO, More jokes like this please!
  7. The ultimate Dong reveal:
  8. You know it has RV'd when you see this: possum Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 410 Joined: 24-November 09 LocationTrinity River Posted 09 March 2012 - 04:34 PM Voices howled at me all night and momma heard them too. Believers, it is here and the haters will hate me but Possum is full love and wants to share the good news. Faithful, start the party for it is done. Go buy that new truch tomorrow and tell'em Possum sent me! Time to get liquored up and get naked ! Read more:
  9. Just another member venting some frustration. The Dinar will RV; it won't be today or tomorrow; but it will happen. Take a breath, relax and go to something else besides reading these blogs.
  10. Ifyou liked that one, youll love this.
  11. Come the next election, you've either got a turd or a fly in the soup. Have fun making that decision,
  12. Thanks, I really needed a good laugh.
  13. You all liked this earlier this year, maybe it will make someone else smile. TEXAS Chili Cook Off (Humor - Warning: Rough Language) Internet | Somewhere in the past | Unknown Texan Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the Chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER Chili JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. FRANK: Holy Sh#$, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy. CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER Chili JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN Chili JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers. FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh#$-faced. CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC JUDGE ONE: Black Bean Chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili. FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb lady is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her Chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! ! CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that **** Sally. I need to wipe my a## with a snow cone! CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION Chili JUDGE ONE: A mediocre Chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of Chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3. FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh#$, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT Chili JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence. JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the Chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank. FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report). Read more:
  14. Thanks for the Post. Always good to hear what Scooter has to say.
  15. There must be some of that Thai in his Cigar.
  16. Ask me again in 30 years, Oh and stay away from Alaska.
  17. A beer sounds real good to me right now! Wrong FORUM for this! We'll get in trouble.
  18. Yes, my Aunt has had a lot of dreams come true and we yes are part Cherokee.
  19. I've had another dream that someone may be able to interpret. I'm walking down the street and one in four persons in each yard come down to greet me. These greeters you can see through. In a kind of related story. A few years back I all but died in the emergency room. I had been bleeding out and crashed. Many people prayed around me, I then saw a shadow form, it was the image of Jesus, but like he was behind a sheet with a bright light reflecting his image on to it. Anyway as the image appeared I felt a great warmth move from the top of my head like a slow wave down to my feet. My blood pressure went back to normal and my bleedeing stopped. The Doctors could not find any reason why I was bleeding after that, I was completley cured.
  20. Had a dream that people were running out of their house, then climbing on top of them. Didn't understand the dream until 3 days later Japan was hit by an earthquake and then the wave.
  21. Just wandering if T.P. Trade and Dinar Trade are owned by the same people?
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